None of your Beeswax!
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An error occurred while saving the comment An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
letsgrind, i agree
i agree that all of us cis-males, who have zero (or little) sexual attraction to females—"females," worded as such intentionally—should ditch and never look back
i've been sitting back and watching the comments, over these last couple of weeks, unfold here ever since i'd shared my latest thoughts on the matter
it saddens me, more, how most of our gay brethren don't realize that grindR's "leaders" are perfectly content to keep things as they are — that, our griping here *never* will change anything
they're more than content to allow grindR to become the latest headline of failure in the news, so long as they have their millions
all those bastards understand is money
if i knew that a class action lawsuit would strip those crooks,
who've ruined what once was a great product for gay men
—and passable transmen who have, to the best of their ability, fully committed to transforming into men—
of all their wealth, i'd surely join inyet..
..i also know the reality
it would take a literal miracle to finally kick grindR's current leadership out of their ivory towerbut i suppose we can still try
do you have any suggestions LG?
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
i wonder, if the c-suites of grindR are reading through these comments, having a great laugh at all this tribal warfare we've been waging amongst ourselves for these past few years now, while enjoying their steadily-incoming millions
they *have* the ability to make both sides happy, within a week's time (or less)
but grindr has no interest in this
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to my trans-sisters (and your allies) out there, who have been "speaking out" here thus far:
1.) you would have an exceptionally valid point, in arguing against us cis-gay men, if grindr had started off as an "all-inclusive" meeting app
(again: "all-inclusive" would have to include our cis-lesbian sisters out there)
if grindr had been like this from the beginning, i would have never joined
because i am interested in other cis-men.
2.) because i am interested in other cis-men, and passable trans-men.
no amount of arguing with me, or others like me (especially, the men who only want other cis-men, period), will change that basic aspect of our attraction
for the majority of us: our attraction, and desire to convene with other men, is no more "misogynistic" than it is "transphobic"
i, as a gay man, would not force you of the trans tribe to commingle with cis-women, if that's not who you're attracted to — and i would not try gas-lighting you by claiming you're "misogynistic" for it
do you understand where i'm coming from?
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
would be funny if all us cis-man (and trans/masc), masc-attracted bloakes opted to abandon this shithole, as our final response to this takeover (and lack of appropriate response from the app management)
just let the "straight" guys and the "women" take it all
then we'll see who really needs whom
grindR has been a shithole anyway, even /with/ all the fellow members who fit in the general demographic i say that i look for (who remain the {bare} majority, at least on my grid)
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
@Mak if you truly believe all of this, then you must be fine with sharing our space (your space) with the lesbian members of our "all inclusive" grindR community, too
including, the biological men who transitioned to women, and demand to convene only with other transwomen
on grindR
(they're women, seeking other women — thus they're lesbians)
this, to me, is the correct logical conclusion to (and fulfillment of) your stance on this matter
no?
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
honestly, it is more logical for you-all to have your own space
you should *want* this for yourselves
the main point of grindR is for finding sex connections
i can't speak for the bisexuals; but, i do feel rather confident, you're not going to get many of us *truly* gay cis-/masc-guys to want to do anything with you
it would be one thing if our ability to filter and block were unrestricted; but extremely restricted, grindR makes these — and a pricey premium, for those who do want access to the lackluster filtering suites grindR does offer
as an FmAF, don't you want to maximize your matches?
with grindR as it is, now, i can't imagine you're finding many (well-adjusted) dudes who aren't a hate crime just waiting to happen
inclusivity isn't /always/ the best approach
on the most basic level, most of us gay guys aren't being misogynistic — we're literally just following the direction our basic instinct takes us to
if inclusivity is your true aim, then tell me you have accounts with lesbian-centric (bi-sexual women, included) sites too
do you think we gay guys do?
straight men?An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
i'm only on 3 apps;—
;—i'd abandoned cruising for ass and dick from my desktop almost a decade ago: when gay(dot)com and men4sexnow were killed off;
manhunt eventually became the template from which scruff (which, itself, does some pretty bad pay-walling too) modeled itself;
bear411 became less and less reliable;
and, adam4adam became an even more-toxic cesspool of panhandlers, caspers, and mentally ill menironically (and sadly), grindR remains the only one of my 3 present cruise apps i've had the most "success" on, to this day
in my area (and with my life circumstances), my options for connections are fairly lacking
~though i do appear to be fairly popular abroad~i tell you all this, to declare that in consideration of the current landscape, i don't need a million of these hookup apps on my phone, when i know 70 - 95% of the members (and the end results) on them are gonna be the same all across
so, re-direct your energy from demanding we cis-gays deal with you, and your "straight" cohorts, invading our turf unabated (which, honestly, really doesn't make much sense anyway), back towards grindR, for forcing them to provide us the proper separation we need so all of us can enjoy a better chance of finding what we desire
or, AGAIN: you can always create your own app
problem, solved
==
not everything needs to be open to everyone
"safe spaces" for transwomen to congregate / commiserate — you want us men to be in there with all our testosterone, ruining your ambiance?
you want us men to join you in your women's bathrooms?
also, grindR is a private business — the owners (shitty as they are) have some rights to say who their creation is for
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
it says more about you, than me, that you (as a fellow black man, no less) got this upset about my commentary on the subject, brandon
i reckon my "roll" travels along just fine, thank you
the reasons i reject individuals is just that: on an individual basis
though, it is perfectly valid for me to categorically-exclude the unhygienic, psychopaths, the willfully ignorant, murderers, and trump supporters
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
michael, you'd have a profoundly-valid point if the app in question was one that started off as a general lgbtq meet-up app, OR an app that caters to FmAFs and the FmAF-attracted
any "regular" gay man who then signs up with the app, knowing that's how the app is like, thus has zero grounds to complain about sharing the space with FmAFs / FmAF-attracted, and is prime for being decried as whatever "phobe" you'd like to call him if he does
but, grindR was not one such app
grindR, first and foremost, was an app catered to us cis-men, who sought other cis-men
no one asked us if we were okay with ceding our space to FmAF-attracted / FmAFs
it's already difficult enough for us gay men to connect on our hookup apps, due to all the phobias, the general mental dysfunctions, and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference" WE have to face, every second of every hour
being compelled to share our space with women, and those who only want women, simply is untenable
but, the most culpable, in this problem, remains grindR leadership — they have the power to give you-lot your own separate space, so as to reduce conflict
grindR chooses not to do so
gay men don't want women
gay men don't want men who don't want other menwhat about, what WE want?
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
at the end of the day, grindR ultimately remains responsible for this mess we're in
let's suppose, though, grindR does finally restore the ethnicity filter, and also provides a separate, dedicated FmAF/FmAF-seeking space
you just know, grindR is going to eventually paywall *that* off from the general public as well; or (doubtful), if grindR doesn't paywall these additions, they'd instead just play it slick by furtherly-reducing app functionality for us non-paying members through future downgrades—
—like the money-hungry, soulless, greedy bitches they are(which would be a mega-feat to accomplish, in and of itself, considering how unusable grindR has already made itself, up to this point in September 2022)
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but, to provide a bit of TL;DR for those of you out there who want to "forget" / ignore how grindR markets itself: grindR is Gay Chat
it's right there in its splash page when you go to download the app for the first timei mean, you don't see lesbians running around on grindR, do you?
wouldn't that be odd if you did?
and, wouldn't you FmAFs take issue with lesbians going there, to where the homos are, proclaiming "NO MEN!", being on grindR?well, use your empathy to step into our shoes
i get that a lot of you are just as horned up for manly dick / hole like we are
however, we homos have been complaining about the takeover of our space for a reason
we're not saying, you can't exist
we're saying, "exist on your own platform"and for those homos who like FmAFs, they will know to go where you are
which would ultimately make everyone happy — surely?(ain't that right, letsgrind?)
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
@sb — for the most part, i do agree with you..
..but, the underlying "sticking point" remains
a sticking point, that's a "clashing" of conflicting interests
as far as grindR itself goes, it is my belief: there is a concurrence of, both, the small sub-faction of us who elect to be vocal about our feelings, and the majority who also wish grindR was focused on cis-men..
—cis-men who actually seek other cis-men—
..but opt to keep quiet about this preference of theirs(myself: i am open to connecting with transmen..
..transmen who have committed to being manly
like pashan)you are correct, of course, that the lobbing of insults at the transfolk while arguing the point is unnecessary. i don't condone that.
yet, the fact remains: for most of us homos, it truly is nothing personal against female-aligned transfolk, "femme" guys, and the female-aligned crossdressers ("FmAF" for short — inclusive of the so-referenced crossdressers and femmes).. ..but our dicks just can't get hard for you.
we're pursuing manliness. beards. hard pecs. in a lot of cases, hairy bodies. sometimes, even, a strong belly.
it truly is nothing personal against FmAFs but, your (purposely) fashioning yourself into a woman makes the proposition a literal non-starter for the cis-man_seeking gays — all we're really saying is, we don't want our precious, limited grid squares taken up by people we can never willingly make sex withthere is no forcing the point here: even if you are occupying the same space as us cis-Men Seekers, you still cannot compel us to actually go and hook up with you, or to scare up an attraction that simply cannot exist..
..so, at the end of the day — even if you get what you think you want, by remaining on in our space, you're going to find yourself in the same position regardless: getting politely declined (at best); or being blocked; or ignored; or worse
"half a dozen of one" is still "six of the other"what i *would* tell you (if i had to guess), is the bi-sexual cis-guys who hang out on grindR probably are more likely to be attracted to FmAFs
(i reference actual bisexuals.
not the self-loathing man haters, or the fetishists.)
with this caveat in mind, i am compelled to concede, it is completely logical for you to gravitate to an app that also serves as a home for cis-byesbut..you see the mess we're in now, because of the overlapping of interests
this particular "venn diagramming" works out fine enough for the cis-man attracted FmAFs, and for the cis-byes who are open to "whatever" — but, not quite so much for us gay beard warmers, who have to compete with limited resourcesthe easiest solution here is for grindR to create a separate FmAF / FmAF-lover space for you to do your thing in
i refuse to believe doing so is *that* difficultalso: i do want to remind you, once more, we *are* in 2022.
this "digital" age.in this age, you truly can create your own "all-inclusive" app, with what surely must be relative ease.
an app, in which no-holds-are-barred on who pursues (and is pursued by) whom.
and like i said a couple of months ago: i give you my SOLEMN pledge, i won't go trudging through your space.
(probably.)in this digital age, i feel like you are able to call on fellow FmAFs / FmAF-lovers to pool your money together to conjure up your app and get the word out there about it.
who knows?
maybe you could even create the alternative to grindR we-all need: implementing all the (reasonable) suggestions we leave here, that are largely ignored.
allow a space for cis-men to hunt other cis-men, unfettered, and even i might throw a few dollars your wayAn error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
ya know?
bruce wagner made a very good point, in the review he left for this app at google's play store earlier today.
he stated, "grindr identifies itself as ``gay chat´´."and this is true.
it says as much right up there in the heading: "Grindr — Gay chat"
so..
..let me put it to you like this: i, as a gay cis-man, only have accounts with growlr, scruff, and this flaming hot messthat's it.
that's all.not-a-once, has it ever occurred to me to take my little gay ass over to bumble, or hinge, or tinder, or any other breeder grounds, to go bothering those folks there with my『manly man』cocklust
nor have i ever stuck my nose in the other dating apps that are marketed for lesbians or the transfolk (in spite of my potential attraction for transmen)
~apps marketed specifically for transfolk / lesbians do exist, by the way~so..
..if i —as a horny, cock-loving gay man— am able to exercise enough restraint to not intrude upon others' spaces... ...why am i being expected to accept (and LOVE!!) intrusions from other tribes?grindr should be a space for cis-men who desire other cis-men
grindr should not be a space for confused cis-men who literally turn their noses up to other (masculine) cis-men, demanding the attentions of "women" ONLY instead so they can pretend in their little warped minds they're still heterosexual
this is the digital arena we're talking about here — it's not as if it is impossible to create other apps which can cater to any and all combinations of lgbtqi+
hell:
for that matter, the confused bloakes are more than free to create their own app — "manz4tranz" or something like thatthey can create it: and i promise you, i'll continue maintaining my "i'm steering fucking clear of your area" policy towards it
i wouldn't even go searching for itwhy?
because (even if i don't agree with it) i can respect people's ~legal~ sexual preferences
(plus, i'm really tired of seeing all these hot, butch guys on my grid whose balls i'll never be able to lick; whose holes, i'll never be able to pound
the pseudo-breeders are as functionally useless for me, as the "i'm not bigoted, it's just my preference" fuckers)
None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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590 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
i hate..
..well, what i hate, is when one's recreational / "coping" activities end up hurting themselves and/or others(drugs, of themselves, are not really the issue)
the fact is: if some people want to indulge, even to the point of destructiveness, people are
(you gotta remember, even "good" things can be abused / detrimental, when consumed excessively)
i bet some of you would be surprised to know, for example, "junkies" are not at all a new phenomenon, popping up in the 1980s, or 1970s, or even the 1960s
verily — heroine, opiates, cocaine, even meth, *were* indeed commercially retailed to the general public for general consumption, in the 1800s, up through.. ..the 1950s
full stop
these drugs eventually were available on shelves, for any and all, without any especial regulation
"laudanum"
i imagine some children partook, considering most people simply could not have known better
innocent babes, thusly, to become eventual, unwitting "junkies"
(how many mothers pre-damaged their children in the womb, from filling their bodies with dangerous substances which were marketed as Salubrious?)in the 1800s
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look
if you want to be done with the drug problem..
..eliminating drugs isn't the solution
unfortunatelyno
you'll need to curb the natural, (in)human affinity for getting high(the innate affinity for attaining and sustaining that dope-amine rush—
—no matter the consequences)
well?
how do you propose making that happen?
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as for grindR's role in all this?
basically: grindR simply is the ghetto of hookup apps
and i make this deliberation this as a black man who was raised in (and fairly-bruised by) the ghetto;
while there are some good souls here and there..
..there are also many, many bad apples to be found throughoutin case you weren't aware, you cannot reasonably expect that much from said Damaged Goods — you can't, regardless of who did the damaging, or how the damage was incurred
look
if people don't peddle / solicit their coke or their meth on the platform directly, they'll either use code language, or code pictures (snow, clouds, ice cubes, etc.), or they'll simply conduct their transactions off-line, to get the job done
people's creativity, for doing things they should not be, is nigh-unlimited
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people *are* going to get high, irrespective of what you or i might feel about their potential recklessness..
..perhaps, we really should begin to focus on harm reduction, and the decriminalization of simple recreational use, so long as the user can uphold their end of the bargain, to remain productive members of society, who cause no harm to the collective with their [habit]an even better idea might be, formulating drugs which can provide the high of the most potent meth, with the side effects of the most normal medium-roast coffee (2 cups)
´like, i dunno..
..pertaining to the drugs themselves: aren't the /real/ Real Issues with these, the addiction to the dope-amine hit the brain develops.. ..and the withdrawal which the body goes through when the brain doesn't get its "baba" in time?None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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8,661 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
the leadership of grindR has made its decision
they're not restoring a god damnèd thing
at this point, we need to start leaving this forsaken app in droves, and go elsewhere
grindR is beholden, only, to advertisement revenue — not to the people
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
what could be the cause of this anger, i wonder?
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
aww.. ..eventide, you're so cute.
puffing up yer little chest on here, talking like you're the grindr uservoice forum enforcer.i wonder..
..based on what qualifications, exactly, do you presume your shitty opinions are worth more than my well-thought out statements?
.
.
.
though, yeah.
yeah, you're right, eventide."we" do need a filter.
a filter to help "us" be rid of absolute, wastes of space, wastes of breath, wastes of life trash like yourself.🥰
[strike]i presume you're white, or someone non-white who fancies trying to align himself with the (problematic) Kolonizing Klan of the world, right?
indeed.
and here you are in 2022, arguing with a black man and a latin man about race matters.[/strike]and here you are in 2022: a white man arguing with a black man and a latin man about how we're supposed to handle race matters.
classic.
i probably shouldn't mention this here but, something else i've learned some time ago about you and your ilk, is whenever you are asked it directly, you never will openly respond with "No I am not prejudiced nor racist against anyone" or "Yes I am racist and prejudiced and proud of it — and these are the fuckers who I detest because of their race."
of course, i don't expect any better from your ad hominem-ing ass eventide.
but, ya know?
go ahead.
please do share with "us," what is it you know about the subject of prejudice, discrimination, bias, oppression, racism, etc. — which joshua and i don't?come.
is this a direct question you feel up for answering directly, or are you just gonna ad-hominem yourself away from that too?
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juan?
are you directing that critique towards steve and eventide (and ES, apparently?)..
..or did you direct that critique towards joshua and i?for the record, i'm not "forcing" the colour discriminators to find sexual attraction for anyone — i'm only "forcing" them to acknowledge the reasoning behind their prejudice and how, on the whole, discrimination solely because of someone's skin colour, nationality, or bloodline is pretty dumb and senseless
there is no equating a MSM's espousing a categorical "no indians" or "no blacks" or "no arabs" (and so on) to a MSM's espousing a categorical "no women"
i know for a fact i was BORN with almost zero natural attraction to the female gender — there was no one in my household grooming me to not desire women, NOR was anyone in my household grooming me to want a hard dick in my mouth
me lusting for men and not lusting for women is what you very much-can consider a "biological imperative" over which i had no control; NOR had i had this disposition taught me by anyone.
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what *is* so "different" about me, i wonder?
why don't i go around saying "no whites" or "no asians" or "no blacks" or "no latinos" (etc.)?how is it possible, i find all nationalities / bloodlines equally appealing?
.....
on second thought.
nah.never mind all that.
i know i'm only preaching to the choir, posing that kinda rhetorical.eventide / steve, and whoever else: i know you're just gonna come back with further garbage.
further garbage, that will not address why you NEED to filter out by race.so please don't bother.
be happy you and i both agree you discriminators SHOULD have your race filter restored.
oh.
by the way.
do you have a problem with me calling you "discriminators"?
but, is that not what you are?
i can readily tell you i sexually-exclude 99.01 - 99.98% of all transsexual / transgender women — MtFs.
almost all MtFs, i never shall willingly go to bed with.but, you observe how easy that was for me?
i owned up to an entire group i sexually preclude. (i can even explain for you why i preclude MtFs, if you're curious.).
there are other attributes people might have —some attributes of which, they have no immediate control over— which would cause me to "automatically" preclude them from my attraction pool; though for the sake of "staying on topic" eventide i won't mention them here.😂
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
@Anonymous ( April 28, 2022 14:48 )
I appreciate your response, in which you were being reasonable and respectful with me.
Regarding the policing of preferences (a word which, in this context, I'd almost always place within quotation marks) — in spite of my strong words thus far, I'll reäffirm that I am *quite* 'in favour' of an in-app ethnicity filter, for the racists / prejudiced fellows to employ.
Let it be known: I *had* been (and am presently) working on another response for the 2 - 3 individuals who, thus far, have seen fit to ad hominem / logical-fallacy me here — in this response, I happen to detail, further, how I believe the restored race filter should work.
No need to worry.. ..My proposed caveats, at their worst, affect neither the discriminator / discriminatee. If anything, the discriminators should be tickled pink.=========
Addressing this to the general forum / my current set of detractors:
Years ago, I'd arrived to the conclusion, I live in a world with many humans who just can't be reasoned with. Humans who, functionally, are "lost causes," who are better off disposed of than to be allowed to continue on, wreaking havoc and causing other innocent humans undue misery.
• If you are a *rump supporter / sympathizer
• If you believe racism / oppression is not an issue
• If you're a "pick yourself up by the bootstrap" espouser
• If you believe in "rules for thee, but not for me,"technically, I've already written you off.
I know I won't be changing your mind, much in the same way you may be assured you will never change my mind.And supposing you did, somehow, manage that, I'd be a fool to believe you'd embrace me unconditionally: because, long before I came out swinging on this forum, you already decided you didn't "like my kind." Because of my skin.
I'm still amazed you don't come out and say "I don't like the black race." Fucked up as that is, I wouldn't advocate for your being banned / banished off here for making that kind of declaration, of itself.
It's when you start bringing in the extra shit that I have the problem.An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
@ ES
I refuse to believe "every single black person" (in your area) seek only trans. I feel like there probably were black men who've previously expressed interest in you but you turned them down for not being your type (which is fine, that's your right to not be attracted to everyone).
I might've been more likely to had lent credence to your lament if you had stated instead "every single black man WHO IS MY TYPE seem to only want chicks with dicks."Never-the-less...
...I agree with you, 100%, GrindR should (if for no one else) be allowing unlimited members the capability to filter by ethnicity and by gender expression.If I were paying GrindR for "premium" service, I know I would want to option to unclog my grid of those individuals whom I never will be attracted to—I am turned on by male / masculine features, which can include the transmen who completely commit to being men—and from those who never will be attracted to me, as I am not a girly boy.
The self-loathing, scared boys who are too afraid to face off with *real* men.
The unfortunate guys who probably could have benefitted from some real, serious counseling / intervention — I know *some* people were born in the wrong bodies.. ..But *this* many males with "gender dysphoria"? (Pretty troubling, indeed..)
Moreover, I can just look at their pictures and tell they're dealing with mental health issues, even serious mental dysfunction. These dudes made their little "switch," emulating what they think it means to be a woman, and they're still not happy. (If anything, their problems are now multiplied.)On the other hand.. ..Nothing about GrindR strikes me as being worth $40 a month. Basic functionalities which Scruff has, GrindR wants to charge us for.
At any rate, I hope you are not under the impression every black man is "like that."
We are not.@ Cody Padgett
It is true you didn't come right *out* with saying 'The "N" Word' (the "N" word with the hard "-er"), but you might as well have.
Because, with all those words in your comment down there, and you chose to only abbreviate "people" — in reference to us black people.Yep.
You conscientiously-chose to reduce us to just "ppl" because, in your eyes, we're not even worthy of the consideration of the full word "people."
"Ethnicity" and "Majority" and "Actually" require more effort to spell out than "people," so I don't want to hear any bullshit from you about "I was just saving time" or "I didn't mean it that way."
You managed to cram in so many micro-aggressions against African-Americans, within the span of those fifteen words... ...You should just come out and say you don't like black PEOPLE.
First of all, I am a black man, and I am in support of restoring the ethnicity filter.
(So on that basis alone, automatically, your assertion of "It's only the black ppl" is factually inaccurate.)I am a black man, and I don't arbitrarily restrict my attraction to ANYONE based solely on their skin colour or perceived ethnicity — so I have no need (nor desire) for that sort of "filter" myself.
I am a black man, and I want the ethnicity filter restored.. ..Though, on the condition, all those individuals who find my black skin problematic / repulsive, reciprocally-are filtered out of MY grid, so I don't have to see THEM.
i don't have a need to see prejudiced, racist bigots — and good riddance.second of all, it's not the ethnicity filter "black ppl" have the beef with — our beef is with the racist, bigoted prejudiced assholes who see no problems with their behaviour.
i'd love to know what you think about the indian, latin, thai, white, philipino, cantonese, arab men who willing buried their faces in my crotch — who all made it exceedingly clear, to me, they wanted to be bred with my black seed.
black seed, explicitly, from MY black dick.you reckon something is wrong with them, because of this desire? are you thinking, "how can they want to lay with a lowly n--ger like that? don't they have any higher standards for themselves?!"?
you can't conceive such a desire is possible?
you can't conceive it possible, people being attracted to others 'in spite of,' 'because of,' OR 'regardless of' colour?
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An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
yeah, honestly?
removing the ethnicity filter was nothing but an empty, performative platitude grindr enacted to quiet down some squeaky wheels
nothing meaningful was accomplished by doing this
i also would not be shocked if grindr didn't view this "politically correct" move as nothing but an opportunity for a potential money grab, one that makes it more annoying for folks to find what they want (or exclude what they believe they don't want)
we all know the racists, the close-minded, and the bigots are going to stay racist, bigoted, close-minded, and/or prejudiced — nothing has changed just because their ability to directly sort according to their biases, however short-sighted, has been taken away by the platform they happen to be on
i'm of the opinion: good riddance
i don't want colour-excluding assholes clogging up *my* grid — irregarding whatever reason the asshole excludes by colour
so, grindr?
bring it back
go ahead and bring that ethnicity filter backfind yourself another battle to fight
fight *this* battle in another way
unless, of course, you actually don't care about the marginalized/ostracized — only the dollars that you would lose if that function of your app is restored (for free)...
...which, from what i've observed, actually is a "modus operandi" that is well within 'brand' for your companyP.S. — i'm a black man who does NOT engage in making categorical ethnicity-based exclusions
i'm also a black man who recognizes EVERYONE can be a remarkably-foul piece of shit, irrespective the colouring of their skinthat said, i will leave off with these two points here:
1.) colour exclusionists? ask yourself WHY you exclude all members of a given ethnicity
2.) we've been fighting this war for centuries now, and might well continue fighting it for centuries more
i do have one fun factoid/reminder: back during the time of sanctioned black enslavement, some white enslavers DID, very much, have no problems seeking us out for their sexual gratification
they evidently weren't repulsed by the idea of becoming intimately-acquainted with our ebony black flesh, eh?actually, now that i think about about...
...this is also true of the colonizers from western europe — the "latin" ones who invaded / pillaged the indigenous of south and north america for many generationsis it not?
those white parasites couldn't help themselves from schtupping all those golden brown natives (natives who, originally, were-all minding their own business...not even aware of the impending White Doom) either
those colonizers didn't turn *their* noses up at the idea of commingling with "lesser" coloured people, now did they?
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118 votes
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3,596 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
you'd think, this should be an easy feature to implement
yet here we are, over 4 years later, with grindr's fingers in its ears, pretending it doesn't hear our voice
(as usual)even if grindr were to allow for the dis-interested to dis-able taps, grindr would just paywall this within 2 downdates anyways
None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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Have a way to filter out bots solicitation and scams
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24,575 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
heh
you guys don't realize?
grindr is the one sponsoring the spambots
obviously this is so
unless grindr means to suggest, thousands upon thousands of different accounts have as easy a time registering, as we do?
at any rate, don't even bother with blocking / reporting the bots — it's a waste of time
None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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Grinder needs to make profile face pics mandatory to have a profile
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608 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
the compromise to this suggestion is Verified Profiles
like scruff already hasthis wouldn't affect the "i need my discretion" folk (we can still shun them like we always had been)..
..but this would allow us to give a justified side eye to whoever elects to remain unverifiedone caveat: grindR MUST make this nudge to verify identity, both, highly visible and persistent until / unless a user accepts or rejects the proposal; and, grindR must make it difficult to accidentally dismiss the prompt
basically, all the common sense shit that we know grindR runs contrary against in its day to day operations
None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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162 votes
None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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Give warnings of any violation
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1,194 votesNone of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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Reviews/Rating/Flake
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639 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
while i do support the general proposal, i advise that we need to be careful with the implementation of this sort of feature: while some of us can be trusted to be largely unbiased with our assessments.. ..some of us cannot be trusted
i dunno about you but.. ..i don't want my reputation getting tarnished by some impatient, geeked out meth•head who was impatient and who couldn't fathom the idea someone wouldn't be into his shit
and some of you guys are just way too pushy
you're way too pushy / entitled, thinking everyone who's on the app is ready to give in to your demands immediatelyalso, there is an "honour system" happening here: others are taking your word, you're speaking the truth
the truth about whether the person is, or is not, what they represented themselves to be
the truth about whether they didn't, or did, flakethere will need to be an opportunity for a negatively-reviewed person to defend themselves
there needs to be consequences doled, to any person who intentionally bears false witness against another
which means, yes: grindR admins (who already have a largely-notorious reputation, themselves) will need to take on the role of Arbitrators, also.how well do you reckon *that* is gonna go?
and how long before grindR paywalls *that* function?
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952 votes
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2,252 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
so, when was this thread originally started?
back in...
...april 8th, 2020?(´seems about right)
and it's been how long now?
over two years, soon to be approaching three — yeah?
soon to be three years; and most of us veterans have seen how grindR's elected to handle the situation: with the classic "no response IS a response" tactic
it's no longer a secret, grindR has been going down the shitter—speaking, in general—for years now; apparently this company is *not* chinese-owned any longer.
allegedly, operations are back in america.
but.. ..one of the new "investors" is someone who "has ties" with the previous china-based owners?is this why we're going to be forced to suffer through this untenable mess?
is this why our only, viable solution here, is to band together to boycott grindR?
since, obviously, they're only valuing profit over people — banking on / taking advantage of a majority of users who aren't even aware (or, who simply don't care) there is an issue?LR was very respectful in their approach when presenting this idea for grindR's consideration; but we see this has afforded us no forward progress in establishing the sort of boundaries we cis-men who seek other cis-men need...
...nor, for the Safe Space transwomen / transsexuals (and their admirers) could truly benefit fromspeaking for me: it *is* bad enough, my feeling compelled to "accept" the presence of femboys / androgynous fellows, though i'm not attracted to them either..
..i wonder how transgendered women and the "straight" men would feel, if those sorts were to flock to their space?
i'd imagine, they'd be more welcomed there?
no?
=====
what do we do about "dedicated" transmen? i don't want to exclude them from the main grindR grid.
(have you seen some of those dudes? 🥵🥵🥵)
how do we ensure we're careful not to take this separation too, too far?None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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2,623 votes
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497 votes
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822 votes
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3,053 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
yep
it seems pretty obvious to me, the owners want to kill this app
them stripping features / functionalities away with each downgrade—in conjunction with grindR's generally-ludicrous subscription pricing—in no way entices us basic members to want to sign up
at all
especially not in this economy in which we're dealing with rampant shrinkflation / inflation!
grindR? you're shooting yourselves in the foot, for real
you know that, right?
i probably WOULD go premium with your service if it was $5/month; i'm willing to wager, many others would as wellbut you've demonstrated repeatedly, over these last 7 - 10 years, you're not interested in thinking smartly
by the way: i constantly hear complaints from your paying members, that their experience isn't much better than the regulars'
so...my incentive for "upgrading" remains nilAn error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
at this point, we-all need to start a mass exodus from grindr
obviously, the current owners are not interested in doing what's right
we need an altruistic gay daddy billionaire (whose honour, loyalty, or integrity can never be whored out to the highest bidder) to kickstart an alternative to grindr
in the meantime..
..i am morbidly curious to see, what other app functionalities grindr can trim away from us free users in future updatesgrindr.
will you eventually reduce the number of "nearby" squares down to 9 as well?
totally eliminate our "viewed me"?
eliminate our ability to see if any of our out-going messages were delivered / read?
at the same time, will you also force on us 120- • 600-second long, unskippable, unmuteable ads — ads that play whenever we send.. ..and receive a message?at the rate you're going, none of these forecasts seem that unreasonable.
An error occurred while saving the comment None of your Beeswax! commented
If GrindR charged everyone a flat 25¢ - $1 a month fee for FULL app access (and no more of their shitty obtrusive ADs), I think they'd end up with more money in their pockets, in the long run, than what they'll make with this $40 a month crap they're trying to pull.
Even I can swing 50¢ a month without batting an eye.. ..And I suspect, even more people can part with 25¢ with no especial problems.
Conversely: as the saying goes, "if you can't part with 25¢ without it being a hardship for you, you probably should be focusing on other things than being on the apps" looking for dick, bussy, or whatever you're into.None of your Beeswax! supported this idea ·
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1,217 votes
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184 votes
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88 votes
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joey, are you telling us / me this, as a fellow gay man; or, are you telling us / me this, as an individual with a more open range of attraction (pan / demi / bi / queer / et al.)?
i don't reckon that a gay man—
(the sexual identity, "gay," *not* being subjected to these multitudes of new-age interpretations)
— who understands what's going on would make such an expectation of another gay man
you surely must, by now, be aware grindr limits the number of blocks each of us have to our name
concurrently, many don't know they are not supposed to waste their blocks on the infinite hoards of bots, massage / rent boys, and international scammers which grindr had, years ago, integrated into its system as a means of furtherly padding its revenue stream—
—thereby chipping away at the erasures they can apply to actual humans
for those of us who are picky (i know some of you are not): on its own, there is already a nigh never-ending stream of gay and bi-sexual fellas on the system who can be purged from the grid—
—not factoring in those fellas who are mentally ill, mentally dysfunctional, meth-/crack-/heroine-/fentanyl-addicted, emotionally disturbed, and act with malice / negligence
on top of this, we gay males have to see females on our grids too?
2.) no reasonable, mentally sound person, would demand nor compel a staunch heterosexual to engage in homosexual acts,
*or* to force them into an attraction for an individual who is of the "correct" sex and sexuality but who comports themselves as if they're not cis-/heterosexual
so why can't we staunch homosexuals be allowed to enjoy our homosexuality in peace?
who's it hurting, besides those who are not of the correct gender and/or sex whose affections, by definition, we cannot reciprocate?
there is nothing misogynistic nor transphobic about our basic, hard-wired attraction
and, again: no matter what any of you say, forcing gay males to commingle with females won't get either side anywhere far
females—and those who are attracted to them—would be much, much better off with their (your) own space
i know grindr has no intention of creating that much needed trans/female-friendly space,
so believe me when i tell ya, joey, et al., i'm continuing to look for an alternative
if i had the ability to, i would create that No Females space myself,
but i don't have the money nor the programming experience for it