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đ™œđš˜đš—đšŽ đ™Ÿđš 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 đ™±đšŽđšŽđšœđš đšŠđšĄ!

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  1. 989 votes

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    speaking as a renowned essay writer!

    i'mma keep this one short, roberto, by telling you 𝙣𝙖𝙝 — the same way you apparently don't want people telling you, or others, to stay away from drugs, you don't get to tell us, we can't spare a few hundred words

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    hmm.

    which would i prefer?

    being fucked up on meth and eventually losing my looks and my teeth (if i don't lose my life first)?
    or, do i take more of a fancy to tapping away on my keyboard for several minutes, posting to uservoice my thoughts about the people who don't respect themselves, nor respect others?

    ®not sure how many more times i gotta say this but, people's bad habits typically don't affect only themselves—
    —people's bad habits have a knack for also fucking with đšđ­đĄđžđ«đŹ' lives, and livelihoods, as well

    i wish it weren't so

    but, the numbers don't lie

    a cursory look through kim gary's channel on youtube should suffice, towards bolstering my argument

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    (besides, i already gave my opinion that grindR, and other-such adult dating venues, should allow drug {ab}users to fully disclose what they are, and what they do — to allow us the opportunity to make an informed decision

    {drug peddlers, instead of directly advertising through their profiles, can privately solicit those folks who had openly declared their habits})

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    @wealthy drIp gaming,

    i think i get the gist of what you're saying, but i fear i cannot go along with what appears to be your underlying sentiment, of "what i do in my private time is my own business"

    i'm also taking note of the way you framed one of your positions — your highlighting of only the "successful" users, without any apparent acknowledgement of everyone else đ™„đ™§đ™€đ™›đ™šđ™šđ™šđ™žđ™€đ™Łđ™–đ™Ą / 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙱𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙, who aren't so lucky

    it is my view, typically there are two inevitable outcomes for those who get themselves embroiled with controlled substances:

    ‱ you end up in jail, for a reason 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 than simple possession or, even, distribution
    ‱ you die, in some undignified manner: slowly; or through traumatic incident; or, by overdose

    those who can "control" themselves seem to be in the minority

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    you're being disingenuous if you're going to assert that everything is only 𝐒𝐼𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐱𝐧𝐞 & 𝐑𝐚𝐱𝐧𝐛𝐹𝐰𝐬, with drugs

    (ask the citizens of mexico, brazil, afghanistan and colombia what they think about the matter)

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    speaking for myself, i'm not a nihilist—
    —it is very much my belief, no man is an island unto himself

    https://cdllife.com/2021/video-drunk-wrong-way-driver-causes-serious-destruction/

    i, personally, haven't been directly affected by an impaired driver, and i was shaking and feeling distraught, watching the crash—
    —imagining the trauma to amberly's soul: her being very much alive and conscious one second, with her then being unceremoniously-đ˜Žđ˜Żđ˜¶đ˜§đ˜§đ˜Šđ˜„ đ˜°đ˜¶đ˜” the next

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    i was going to mention a certain array of other folks (who are no longer with us), to further highlight my point regarding the fallacy of your pointing towards the minority of "successful" users, as the means of justifying a lax attitude towards substance abuse;
    what i'll do instead, is i'll ask you to tell me of some professional, career-minded, successful, (hard) drug-using people đ™źđ™€đ™Ș personally know, in 2023 (july, the 9th), who are also well-adjusted—
    —people you 𝚋𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚍𝚎-are assured of, who are in no imminent danger of suffering a crisis, as elvis, or anne heche, or jarad higgins, or amy winehouse, or janis joplin had

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    ?

    can you?

    people đ™źđ™€đ™Ș know—
    —people you can supply first-hand testimony for, regarding their over-indulgence in meth, alcohol, fentanyl, coke, heroin... ...or perkies, codeine, xanax, ghb, 3mmc, or whatever other foolishness is out there

    =====

    there is a counter-saying i am quite fond of, regarding certain folks' perceived liberty to conduct their "personal lives" ꜱᎀɎꜱ ᎀ᎛᎛ʀÉȘʙ᎜ᎇʀ ᮅ'ÉȘᎍ᎘ᎏʀ᎛ᎀɎᎄᎇ Ă  — đČđšđźđ« đ«đąđ đĄđ­đŹ 𝐞𝐧𝐝 đ°đĄđžđ«đž 𝐩𝐱𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐱𝐧𝐬

    it has been demonstrated, with a fair amount of consistency, most people can't keep their habits to themselves

    from the meth‱head who breaks into cars, and allows multitudes of hiv-positive people to rawdog him, for days at a time,
    to the drunkard who gets on the highway and eventually blindsides an innocent family,
    to the coke fiend who goes to work and abuses everyone under them,
    to the her'on hero who enjoys nothing more than walking out in the middle of traffic to perform their precarious balancing act,

    i see no reason for you to pretend all is well with them

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    BUT.

    with all that said: i would much rather, drug users are allowed to be open with the rest of us, on the apps—
    —to allow us the chance to block them, at our discretion

    yep

    "stigmatization"

    but, i have the right, not to associate with people whose futures are precarious, and whose activities are dubious—
    —do i not?

    and, be damnĂšd the ones who insist on being dishonest: even when they no longer have to worry about being banned, or about being reported to the police (for simple possession / use)

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    you surely must know, some (ab)users 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 lie / obscure the truth anyway, in order to get what they want

    that's human nature, i hear

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    i hate..
    ..well, what i hate, is when one's recreational / "coping" activities end up hurting themselves and/or others

    (drugs, of themselves, are not really the issue)

    the fact is: if some people want to indulge, even to the point of destructiveness, people are

    (you gotta remember, even "good" things can be abused / detrimental, when consumed excessively)

    i bet some of you would be surprised to know, for example, "junkies" are not at all a new phenomenon, popping up in the 1980s, or 1970s, or even the 1960s

    verily — heroine, opiates, cocaine, even meth, *were* indeed commercially retailed to the general public for general consumption, in the 1800s, up through.. ..the 1950s

    full stop

    these drugs eventually were available on shelves, for any and all, without any especial regulation

    "laudanum"

    i imagine some children partook, considering most people simply could not have known better

    innocent babes, thusly, to become eventual, unwitting "junkies"
    (how many mothers pre-damaged their children in the womb, from filling their bodies with dangerous substances which were marketed as Salubrious?)

    in the 1800s

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    look

    if you want to be done with the drug problem..
    ..eliminating drugs isn't the solution
    unfortunately

    no
    you'll need to curb the natural, (in)human affinity for getting high

    (the innate affinity for attaining and sustaining that dope-amine rush—

    —no matter the consequences)

    well?

    how do you propose making that happen?

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    as for grindR's role in all this?

    basically: grindR simply is the ghetto of hookup apps

    and i make this deliberation as a black man who was raised in (and fairly-bruised by) the ghetto;
    while there are some good souls here and there..
    ..there are also many, many bad apples to be found throughout

    in case you weren't aware, you cannot reasonably expect that much from said Damaged Goods — you can't, regardless of who did the damaging, or how the damage was incurred

    look

    if people don't peddle / solicit their coke or their meth on the platform directly, they'll either use code language, or code pictures (snow, clouds, ice cubes, etc.), or they'll simply conduct their transactions off-line, to get the job done

    people's creativity, for doing things they should not be, is nigh-unlimited

    =====

    people *are* going to get high, irrespective of what you or i might feel about their potential recklessness..
    ..perhaps, we really should begin to focus on harm reduction, and the decriminalization of simple recreational use, so long as the user can uphold their end of the bargain, to remain productive members of society, who cause no harm to the collective with their [habit]

    an even better idea might be, formulating drugs which can provide the high of the most potent meth, with the side effects of the most normal medium-roast coffee (2 cups)

    ÂŽlike, i dunno..
    ..pertaining to the drugs themselves: aren't the /real/ Real Issues with these, the addiction to the dope-amine hit the brain develops.. ..and the withdrawal which the body goes through when the brain doesn't get its "baba" in time?

  2. 627 votes

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    that's all fine and good, annon

    truly

    as long as you stick to only chatting up other picless people, be assured that none of this applies to you

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    the actual issue stems from anonymous folks going around demanding in-person-meets from those of us who do take on the risk of showing ourselves to the rest of the world — and then give us shit (or / and play games) when we ask to see what you look like, as you are able to see us

    (are we 'patsies' too?)

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    hey

    if someone wants to gaybash you, they'll find a way—
    —trust me on that

    also, you can never really know when someone is out there targeting you 'anonymous' folks

    you never know if you're being recorded, specifically so you can be outed later

    you may fancy yourselves ᎄʀᎀꜰ᎛ʏ or 𝙹𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙼; but there's always someone bigger and badder than you are

    Trust.

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    the compromise to this suggestion is Verified Profiles
    like scruff already has

    this wouldn't affect the "i need my discretion" folk (we can still shun them like we always had been)..
    ..but this would allow us to give a justified side eye to whoever elects to remain unverified

    one caveat: grindR MUST make this nudge to verify identity, both, highly visible and persistent until / unless a user accepts or rejects the proposal; and, grindR must make it difficult to accidentally dismiss the prompt

    basically, all the common sense shit that we know grindR runs contrary against in its day to day operations

  3. 1,108 votes

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    me

    from june 17, 2023:

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    i 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 consider paying grindr 75± a month for unlimited blocks

    i might

    but...
    ...with this 75Âą / month, i reserve the right to have any reports i make to the admins, about anyone who's blatantly 𝗯đ—čđ—Œđ—°đ—ž đ—Čđ˜ƒđ—źđ—±đ—¶đ—»đ—Ž, given more weight and priority
    (considering, i'm actively paying them for a service)

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    this "alternative" method of dealing with đ˜›đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜œđ˜Żđ˜žđ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜„đ˜Ž is probably easier, more viable, and likely more profitable, to implement, than filtering:

    filtering, which we know cannot be 100 (or, even, 80) per‱cent effective on any platform—
    (but, grindr {đ™©đ™đ™š đ™đ™€đ™ąđ™š đ™€đ™› đ™©đ™đ™š đ™ˆđ™šđ™Łđ™©đ™–đ™Ąđ™Ąđ™ź 𝙄𝙡𝙡 / đ™€đ™ąđ™€đ™©đ™žđ™€đ™Łđ™–đ™Ąđ™Ąđ™ź đ˜żđ™žđ™šđ™©đ™Ș𝙧𝙗𝙚𝙙} in particular)
    —given the games which too many people play

    ÂŽtalking about the people who, either, intentionally mis-categorize themselves;
    or those who fail to categorize themselves at all, in order to make some "statement" against the đ‘©đ’Šđ’đ’‚đ’“đ’š đ‘·đ’‚đ’“đ’‚đ’…đ’Šđ’ˆđ’Ž
    (the "paradigm" which 88% of the rest of world deals with just fine)

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    - i wish more "women"Âč were reasonable and respectful like you isa

    - that was a proclamation i, myself, made years ago, regarding the (mentally dysfunctional) phobies: how, to them, functionally, we're all the same

    "fags"

    and are all worthy of disdain and, in some (or all) cases, death

    no matter what letter of the alphabet we happen to be

    - i just want to make it abundantly clear, that for as much as i gripe and bitch about "the situation" on grindR,
    i would đŸ…œđŸ…ŽđŸ†…đŸ…ŽđŸ† take this same fight to any other platform (or venue) which made it clear from the beginning,
    their intent is to serve đžđŻđžđ«đČ𝐹𝐧𝐞 in the LGBTQ(+) family

    of course, with that said..
    ..i do reserve my right, to exclude 𝙱𝙼𝙹𝙚𝙡𝙛 from these other groupings, if i feel it's not right for me

    (which, i do, already

    i exclude myself, and i stay well-clear of their business)

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    i can't do anything about the phobes who will harangue you here (in uservoice), or on grindR, or 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗; the best i can advise ya, is to exercise any ʀᎇᎀꜱᎏɎᎀʙʟᎇ corrective measure available to you

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    and, to reĂŻterate my statement from the 7th of last month:

    ``
    in the absence of effective Filtering, and unlimited, no‱strings‱attached Blocking—
    —in the meantime, all i can ask of you "ladies" is, when you browse someone's profile, if he doesn't give any explicit indication he's looking for "women," please don't solicit him for sexual engagement

    do not, on what originally was marketed as a cis man-for-cis man app, go on to harass a person when he rejects or blocks (or ignores) you

    considering that, from what i've observed over these years, whenever a queer⌂ does desire a "woman," he'll make it crystal clear for you, so there's no confusion or room for doubt on the matter
    ÂŽÂŽ

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    Âč forgive me — woman-in-quotes is just my umbrella,
    to signify every male whose gender dysphoria / difference / divergence,
    expresses as (𝐜𝐹𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐱𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐱𝐹𝐼𝐬) đšđ§đđ«đšđ đČ𝐧đČ / 𝐟𝐞𝐩𝐱𝐧𝐱𝐧𝐱𝐭đČ

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    (i suppose i am forced to concede, inclusivity 𝐝𝐹𝐞𝐬 work, đ™šđ™€đ™ąđ™šđ™©đ™žđ™ąđ™šđ™š!

    😂)
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    ⌂ i "reclaim" 🆀🆄🅮🅮🆁, as my term for describing the men who intentionally eschew relations with other cis-masc men—

    (typically, due to an unfortunate case of homophobia / self-loathing)

    —in specific preference for "women" (but, strangely, not *actual* women)

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    indeed, wolf—

    —indeed, it is as you say

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    yeah

    honestly

    grindr is like the ᎜ʟ᎛ÉȘᮍᮀᮛᮇ catfish

    assuming the c-suites leave things as they are: i hope i live to see the day that grindr's app store rating finally reaches 1 star

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    not everything needs to be "inclusive"

    đ™šđ™€đ™ąđ™šđ™©đ™žđ™ąđ™šđ™š, "inclusivity" can hurt those it was touted as favouring, đŠđšđ«đž

    us gay and bi men "erect borders" amongst ourselves every single day — it's called, đ˜Żđ˜°đ˜” 𝘧𝘩𝘩𝘭đ˜Ș𝘯𝘹 𝘱𝘯 đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜”đ˜łđ˜ąđ˜€đ˜”đ˜Ș𝘰𝘯

    often, there is no malicious or bigoted intent behind the evaluation:
    we're just not turned on by what's being presented to us;
    or, we acknowledge in advance, a connection simply isn't feasible (or advisable)

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    this same line of reasoning extends to "women," ᮡᮏᮍᮇɮ, and queers — nothing personal to them

    (i wonder how often it happens?

    someone, we would've been all over, back when he was a man...

    ...but with his dysphoria having completely changed his outlook, we can no longer entertain the thought of having sex with her

    :-)

    i'm sure, this is the sentiment a lot of women feel, whenever đ™©đ™đ™šđ™ź find out that hunky man they had their eye on, can't do anything with them

    {that Hunky Man, with not an ounce of obvious đ“Œđ”€đ“Čđ“Œđ“± or đŸ…ŒđŸ…ŽđŸ†ƒđŸ†đŸ…ŸđŸ†‚đŸ…ŽđŸ†‡đŸ†„đŸ…°đŸ…» in his bones})

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    yeah
    yeah, you would say that
    wouldn't you damien?

    then, in that case: what grindR should do, to accommodate your imperative, is completely open up the app

    grindR should completely open itself, and then aggressively make it known to the world it's now a đ’Ș𝓃𝑒-𝒼𝓉𝑜𝓅 đ’źđ’œđ‘œđ“… for any and all to join

    like tindR or bumbL

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    you're bi‱ / pan‱sexual — right, damien?

    well?

    let's not stop at bringing in "women"...
    ...𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 women need to join the fiesta too!

    why not?

    𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖đ™Ș𝙹𝙚, 𝙖𝙹 đ™žđ™© 𝙘đ™Șđ™§đ™§đ™šđ™Łđ™©đ™Ąđ™ź đ™šđ™©đ™–đ™Łđ™™đ™š, đ™©đ™đ™š 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙍 đ™–đ™„đ™„ đ™–đ™„đ™„đ™šđ™–đ™§đ™š đ™©đ™€ 𝙗𝙚 đ™©đ™–đ™§đ™œđ™šđ™©đ™žđ™Łđ™œ, đ™€đ™Łđ™Ąđ™ź, 𝙖 đ™šđ™šđ™Ąđ™šđ™˜đ™© đ™™đ™šđ™ąđ™€đ™œđ™§đ™–đ™„đ™đ™žđ™˜ — 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙡𝙼 đ™šđ™­đ™„đ™Ąđ™–đ™žđ™Łđ™š 𝙬𝙝𝙼 𝙘𝙞𝙹-đ™Źđ™€đ™ąđ™šđ™Ł (𝙖𝙣𝙙 đ™đ™šđ™©đ™šđ™§đ™€đ™šđ™šđ™­đ™Ș𝙖𝙡 𝙱𝙚𝙣) đ™™đ™€đ™Ł'đ™© 𝙱𝙖𝙠𝙚 đ™©đ™đ™šđ™žđ™§ đ™„đ™§đ™šđ™šđ™šđ™Łđ™˜đ™š đ™ đ™Łđ™€đ™Źđ™Ł, 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚

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    oh.
    wait. . . . .

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    @james:

    when some of the "women" started creating multiple accounts, to evade my blocks and resume propositioning me, even when i already told them (in no uncertain terms) i wasn't interested;
    and when the queers begun perpetuating their weird-ass homophobia đ™€đ™Ł 𝙖𝙣 đ™–đ™„đ™„ 𝙙𝙚𝙹𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙚𝙙 đ™›đ™€đ™§ đ™đ™€đ™ąđ™€đ™š, my ability to be lenient and grant 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 was taken off the table

    ===

    86ing "women" (and queers) might be a viable, one-and-done solution, when you live someplace where there aren't many "women"—and queer "đ™’đ™€đ™ąđ™šđ™Ł" đ˜Ÿđ™đ™–đ™šđ™šđ™§đ™šâ€”to deal with; i imagine, for the cockbreaths of đ˜”đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜€đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜ș 𝘰𝘧 đ˜­đ˜°đ˜Žđ˜” 𝘱𝘯𝘹𝘩𝘭𝘮, or new york, or some other "progressive" region, it's not at all that simple
    (i suppose, us cis-gays don't really merit an empathic consideration, though — right?)

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    of course it's an even harder life, as a "woman"*
    the kind of "woman" who feels the compulsion to draw đŸ†ƒđŸ…·đŸ…Ž 🅮🆈🅮🆂 đŸ…ŸđŸ…” đŸ†ƒđŸ…·đŸ…Ž đŸ…żđŸ†„đŸ…±đŸ…»đŸ…žđŸ…Č to herself, over and beyond what could be viewed as 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 — as many mentally-dysfunctional / emotionally-disturbed / mentally-ill people are subject to

    i'm just gonna put it out there: those folks are in need of psychological help*

    some sort or form of intervention, to cure them of their gender dysphoria;
    some form or sort of treatment, to cure them of the other mental problems they've got going

    (i'm not talking about the guys who are naturally a little femme — not the guys, whose effeminate mannerisms aren't put on for attention-seeking)
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    being gay or bi is not even in the same league — as we may recall, homosexuality is readily (and regularly) observed in the animal kingdom..
    ..can the same be said for transgenderism?

    and supposing there are animals out there, suffering from an identity crisis..
    ..what do you reckon happens with them, out in nature?
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    * (as i can imagine, it's not terribly easy being a self-loathing queer)

    * of course:
    i wouldn't be opposed to the basherphobes, themselves, getting forcefully lobotomized

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    what saddens me is, i know all of this fussing and insult slinging, ultimately, is futile

    nothing meaningful is going to happen

    not with this approach

    george arison and his little c-suite flunkies won't take notice of our plight unless / until their profit is affected

    so, in that regard.. ..for all the "women" (and queers) out there, you have no real reason to worry — you "women" are not going anywhere, any time soon

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    in the meantime, all i can ask of you "ladies" is, when you browse someone's profile, if it doesn't give any explicit indication they're looking for "women," please don't engage with them

    do not harass a person, on what is supposed to be a cis man-for-cis man app, when he rejects or blocks you

    from what i've observed, whenever a queer wants a "woman," he'll make it crystal clear, so there's no confusion

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    well, justen — these 𝐜𝐼𝐭𝐞, đĄđšđ«đ§đČ, đąđŠđ©đ«đžđŹđŹđąđšđ§đšđ›đ„đž â€œđŹđ­đ«đšđąđ đĄđ­â€ 𝐛𝐹đČ𝐬 are of no use for men like me

    they make it abundantly-clear, they want 𝚗𝚘𝚝-𝚖𝚎𝚗

    (though, if they feel that strongly...
    ...if they feel đ™©đ™đ™–đ™© 𝙞𝙣𝙹𝙚𝙘đ™Ș𝙧𝙚 about being sexual with another man. . . . .
    . . . . .why don't they try connecting with actual women?

    {maybe they're mentally dysfunctional too.})

    ‱ and, sorry-not-sorry, but i'm not keen on re-defining what it means to be "gay," "bi-sexual," or "heterosexual"

    it's real simple to me: once you knowingly (and repeatedly) seek out a ᮘᮇɮÉȘꜱ & ʙᎀʟʟꜱ-ʙᎇᎀʀᎇʀ, even if all you ever do is use the ᮘᮇɮÉȘꜱ & ʙᎀʟʟꜱ-ʙᎇᎀʀᎇʀ like a fleshlight by only fucking him in his butt, you can't call yourself『straight』anymore

    and there is no shame in being bi-sexual, or even gay

    ‱ i don't know how to categorize this contingent, who are unable to deal with cis-women, but are too loathe to bump nasties with other masculine cis-men...
    ...maybe đ™©đ™đ™šđ™ź are worthy of the title 🆀🆄🅮🅮🆁?

    ‱ i believe that if you were to poll all gay and bi guys, a majority (if not *the* majority) of us would gladly report, we could give two shits about "straight" men

    because (in my opinion) for us, it's not a man's heterosexuality (or, the idea of being his "exception") we're attracted to — it's his đŠđšđŹđœđźđ„đąđ§đąđ­đČ which calls to our spirits

    even with me: a few of my recent connections have, upon meeting me in person, inquired-in-seriousness whether i had a girl, or any kids

    perhaps, rather surprised someone with my level of masculinity happens to be an unapologetic gold-star homo

    (and i told them, "no, i don't have a woman, or any kits; but i can impregnate đ˜șđ˜°đ˜¶ if you want me to. 😈.")

    ‱ sure

    a scant minority of fetishists wanna be the one to "turn" a straight man

    yet another delusion, however:
    since 99.99% of straights can't be turned, anymore than 99.99% of us homos can be converted from our cock-munching ways

    when it comes to sexuality, you can't grow a tree whose seed wasn't already embedded in the bearer's soil

    =====

    adi?

    i want to pose to you the same two questions i had to kris over in "lets make grindr gay again"—

    —who are you attracted to?

    who aren't you attracted to?

    kris never answered this
    maybe you will

    maybe you will answer these honestly

    ‱ also, i want to express my opinion that it's..
    ..fairly hypocritical, to be fine with the queer chaps declaring đŸ†ƒđŸ†đŸ…°đŸ…œđŸ†‚ đŸ…ŸđŸ…œđŸ…»đŸ†ˆ but getting up in arms about us gay men espousing đ“¶đ“źđ“· đ“žđ“·đ“”đ”‚

    ‱ i do hope you've taken note, over the years, who's been most active in this on-going beef..
    ..and who's largely been quiet

    yep
    us self-proclaimed gay (masc) cis-men versus you of the gender-divergent / -dysphoric tribe

    whereĂ€s—
    i'd bet another million
    —if i were to go back and review the tapes, i could count on one hand the number of queers who've ever hopped on to uservoice to chime in their pro-Total Inclusivity stance

    ‱ think about it though, adi—
    —queer men are an even smaller minority than the gender-divergent

    with their on-going andro/homophobia,
    it would be significantly-more logical for them to call for separation,
    so they could find more "women" to play with

    (but..
    ..how would the queers feel about sharing their space with other queers, when it's only "women" they're seeking?)

    as encapsulated by the very same line i opened up with, in responding to justen: us hairy, masculine, beard-bearing, manly-bodied fellas are of no use to the "breeders"

    we will make their dicks limp, because they đ˜„đ˜Šđ˜§đ˜Ș𝘯đ˜Șđ˜”đ˜Șđ˜·đ˜Šđ˜­đ˜ș-cannot pretend in their dysfunctional minds they're not doing some 𝚐𝚊𝚱 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝

    not when they're being confronted with a big beefy chest, and a cock that's looking right back at them

    ‱ so, again:
    what about the consideration of đ˜°đ˜¶đ˜ł wants and needs?

    ‎
    ‎

    and, why do you insist on conflating our call for separation—

    (be it through directing you to patronize any of the other apps for gender-divergents / queers which are available, or through crowd-sourcing your own app if you're not 'feeling' what's currently available; or, be it through compelling grindr to enforce strict gender filtering

    {on the last point, be assured grindr management isn't ever gonna do that})

    —with segregation, or with wanting to "erase" you-all from existence?

    ‎
    ‎

    that's not what we're doing
    that's not the argument being made
    that's not what any of this is about

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    however, for the umpteenth time: you can't force us to be attracted to you

    (what?

    do you secretly fantasize about "turning" a gay man?

    i mean...
    ...what's the difference between a masculine gay man and a masculine queer man?

    remember, kids: you'll đ™Łđ™šđ™«đ™šđ™§ find a ʙᎏɎᎀ ꜰÉȘᮅᮇ ʜᎇ᎛ᎇʀᎏꜱᎇx᎜ᎀʟ on grindr—
    —not a heterosexual, seeking sexy times with any man or "woman")

    it's not a political statement
    it's not a "right-wing agenda"
    it's not transphobia

    if we're going to be attracted to not-men, then we cocksuckers might as well go đ–đĄđšđ„đž 𝐇𝐹𝐠 by taking up bi-sexuality, at a minimum

    ÂŽfucking ʀᎇᎀʟ women—
    —unabashedly

    with none of this "queer" or "hetero-flexible," đ˜Ș𝘯 đ˜Łđ˜Šđ˜”đ˜žđ˜Šđ˜Šđ˜Ż / đ˜±đ˜Šđ˜łđ˜±đ˜Šđ˜”đ˜¶đ˜ąđ˜­đ˜­đ˜ș đ˜€đ˜°đ˜Żđ˜§đ˜¶đ˜Žđ˜Šđ˜„ shit

    =====

    a gay man is đ§đžđŻđžđ« going to fuck a "woman"

    —any gay man who does fuck a "woman" (but, can't bring himself to mating with an đ™–đ™˜đ™©đ™Ș𝙖𝙡 cis-woman) is not gay but, rather, đȘđźđžđžđ«
    (i hesitate to label him 𝘣đ˜Ș)—

    yet, you categorically-demand to have, what's basically the equivalent of attempting to force a star-shaped peg through an octagonal opening

    i'm going to remind y'all again: grindr was originally intended for gay men

    i'm sorry that the conservatives took away your craigslist in 2017..
    ..maybe you should be fighting them, and not us?

    be sure to enlist the aid of your queer allies, since they love you so much

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    (uservoice, and its damned character limit...)

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎
    đ“Œđ“·đ“Čđ“č

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    there's only one moderator, for the entirety of the app?

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    i *might* consider paying grindr 75Âą a month for unlimited blocks

    but.....with this 75Âą/month, i reserve the right to have any reports i make to the admins, about anyone who's blatantly 𝗯đ—čđ—Œđ—°đ—ž đ—Čđ˜ƒđ—źđ—±đ—¶đ—»đ—Ž, given more weight

    this "alternative" method of dealing with đ˜›đ˜©đ˜Š đ˜œđ˜Żđ˜žđ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜Šđ˜„đ˜Ž is probably easier, more viable, and likely more profitable, to implement, than filtering—
    —filtering, which we know cannot be 100 (or, even 80) per‱cent effective on any platform, given the games which many people play

    ÂŽtalking about the people who, either, intentionally mis-categorize themselves;
    or those who fail to categorize themselves at all, in order to make some "statement" against the đ‘©đ’Šđ’đ’‚đ’“đ’š đ‘·đ’‚đ’“đ’‚đ’…đ’Šđ’ˆđ’Ž (that 90 - 98% of the rest of world deals with just fine)

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    that's a head scratcher...
    ...the first half of my commentary (from the 11th) mysteriously was stricken

    shenanigans?

    i restored my post again, back to how i intended it; maybe it'll stay put this time?

    =====

    ‱ thank you zeb!

    this whole "deal" is very emotionally-charged for me as well

    regardless..
    ..Emotion cannot always be allowed to trump 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 and 𝑳𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒄: otherwise, we're no better than temper tantrum-throwing toddlers

    ‱ thank you tom childress!

    😘

    (you're gonna make me blush!)

    =====

    ya know?
    though fairly draining, on both my emotions and my time,
    it's likely "for the best" that i đ˜©đ˜ąđ˜·đ˜Š been down here in the trenches...

    ...eventually reaching the point where i am almost all "argued out"

    ‱ amber?
    when you get a minute (after you handle your 60 waiting messages, of course), you should read through the first two or three pages of this thread — use a translator if you're not fluent in english

    (i'm not fluent in spanish or portuguese, myself)

    you may come to grasp the futility of mixing tribes

    though, i am curious — do you insert yourself in heterosexual dating apps?

    (i don't)

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    i see, i see.

    alright then.

    cool.

    "go off," queen.

    1.) i want to make a disclaimer:

    my (hopeful) belief, not all Gender Divergents comport themselves as lylli, josie, or the others who came before them (and shall arrive after them) in uservoice, do

    1a.) i might even go so far as to theorize, GDs like josie and lylli are in the absolute ᎍÉȘɎᎏʀÉȘ᎛ʏ — in spite of their brash, fairly-frequent, and loud vocality

    of course, i have no way of verifying whether this is true; may my optimism not be misplaced, though...

    2.) from what i've been observing, over these last few years,

    ‱ 𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚖,
    ‱ 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚱,
    ‱ 𝚏𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝,
    ‱ 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚞𝚛

    surely must be a few of the common đ‘·đ’”đ’šđ’„đ’‰đ’đ’đ’đ’ˆđ’Šđ’„đ’‚đ’ đ‘Ș𝒐-𝑮𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 for sufferers of gender dysphoria
    (the male victims, especially)

    3.) josie?

    can you explain for me how you arrived at the conclusion we cis/masc-MSMs, en masse, secretly, want to feminize ourselves (but prefer giving đ™źđ™€đ™Ș𝙧 tribe grief about your mental disorder, instead)?

    while you're at it: explain for me, what you believe stops us from pursuing that path, if self-feminization was our real End Game?

    3a.) or is it, rather?
    That is a belief you hold, in order to make yourself feel better?
    not alone?

    4.) indeed:

    https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/trans-adults-united-states/

    https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/transgender-population-by-state

    4a.) this is the distribution of humanity, from most common to least common, on planet earth:

    đ—”đ—Č𝘁đ—Čđ—żđ—Œđ˜€đ—Č𝘅𝘂𝗼đ—č — đ—±đ—Čđ—±đ—¶đ—°đ—źđ˜đ—Čđ—±
    đ—Żđ—¶đ˜€đ—Č𝘅𝘂𝗼đ—č
    (đ—Żđ—¶-đ—°đ˜‚đ—żđ—¶đ—Œđ˜‚đ˜€)
    đ—čđ—Čđ˜€đ—Żđ—¶đ—źđ—» / 𝗮𝗼𝘆 — đ—±đ—Čđ—±đ—¶đ—°đ—źđ˜đ—Čđ—±
    "đ—Ÿđ˜‚đ—Čđ—Č𝗿"
    𝗚đ—Čđ—»đ—±đ—Č𝗿 đ——đ—¶đ˜ƒđ—Č𝗿𝗮đ—Čđ—»đ˜*
    𝗼𝘀đ—Č𝘅𝘂𝗼đ—č (not due to a traumatic event)
    đ—œđ—»đ˜đ—Č𝗿𝘀đ—Č𝘅đ—Čđ—±
    etc.

    * (an umbrella term which includes those who are "dedicated" transsexuals, Draggers, transvestites, and crossdressers — in addition to the usual Transgendered;
    but, does 𝒏𝒐𝒕 necessarily include the men who conscientiously wear "female intimates," or the women who conscientiously wear "male intimates"

    𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 / 𝒃𝒐𝒙𝒆𝒓𝒔, i.e.)

    4b.) as far as The Transgendered, specifically?

    going under the assumption,
    the 2022 percentage given for your numbers
    —(0.3% - 0.7%)—
    due to Societal Factors,
    is significantly shorted,
    never‱the‱less Ⓛⓞⓖⓘⓒ dictates this mental disorder (đ™–đ™˜đ™©đ™žđ™€đ™Łđ™–đ™—đ™Ąđ™š 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 đ™™đ™źđ™šđ™„đ™đ™€đ™§đ™žđ™–) still cannot afflict more than 2% of all humans

    hm?
    you say, there's many more of you in the wings, than the "2%" i'm projecting?

    you wanna bump that estimate up to 5%?

    sure

    5% of 8 billion is 400,000,000

    you aim to tell me, there are as many transwomen on earth, as there are people in the divided states?

    or, is it?—
    —you wish to assert, there are 400,000,000 transwomen right now in the D.S.A.?

    200,000,000?
    100,000,000?
    50,000,000?
    25,000,000?

    (oh!
    ladies!
    don't forget about transmen!
    as you tend to do!)

    you wish to contend, transwomen significantly outnumber cis-gays, jo?

    4b.) https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/transgender-no-longer-considered-mental-disorder/

    the world health organization's decision to pander to 0.3% of the total, global, population,
    as opposed to figuring out a way to decisively (but humanely!) address that psychological dysfunction,
    was a capital mistake

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    5.) what was my point in bringing up percentages?

    i could ask the same thing of josie, for claiming we gays are envious of transwomen, to the extent we want to 𝒃𝒆 trans

    no.

    thank you.

    i'm not interested in the heightened chances for
    ‱ depression,
    ‱ homicide,
    ‱ constant public ridicule
    (this applies, mainly, for the "in your face" / fetishist transfolk who wear their own mental dysfunction{s} like badges of honour — not the transfolk who go about their day quietly; not bothering anybody; not being loud, obnoxious, and objectively weird),
    ‱ suicide,
    ‱ random assaults,
    ‱ or the additional lack of "mainstream" social acceptance;
    nor am i interested in relinquishing my own Masculinity,
    or desire being fetishized more than i already am

    5a.) i feel quite fine & dandy, presently, as the đ“‚đ’¶đ“ƒđ“đ“Ž 𝒾𝑜𝒾𝓀𝓈𝓊𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓇 i am

    (and, i reckon: many, 𝐩𝐚𝐧đČ more men 𝒂𝒏𝒅 transwomen would appreciate my staying 𝕄𝕒𝕟𝕝đ•Ș, than to feminize m'self in any way

    {i'm willing to wager, this includes you 𝚊𝚗𝚍 lylli})

    6.) in case you were wondering — i'm aware, no one is 100% masculine or 100% feminine
    (not by any measure of any tribe's cultural interpretation of Gender Role)

    i'm not advocating for what,
    as far as i can tell,
    is a đ™§đ™šđ™šđ™€đ™Ș𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 Implausibility

    nah.

    however...
    ...there's a tangible difference between a naturally effeminate-acting guy
    —even a naturally "pretty" dude—
    and a chap whose own brain nags at him, "you're not male: you're female" so he makes himself so

    6a.) not all pretty boys are also effeminate
    just as, not all effeminate chaps are pretty
    ÂŽfigure i'd specify this, for those wondering

    7.) if only Common Sense was more common

    indeed: society wouldn't be on the verge of collapse đ™Łđ™€đ™Ź if there wasn't such a wide-spread aversion to Logic & Reasoning—

    —as, what's been on display here

    7a.) it would be to your supreme benefit, to get your heads out of your own bussies

    our gripe—
    (which is, wanting a grid that's more in line with our needs and wants)
    —has nothing to do with your being female-presenting men

    androphobes are equally as useless to us

    7b.) you're not willing to compromise?

    nor are we

    why should we?

    8.) josie — in your attempt at being "edgy" (or whatever it was) you neglected recognizing another key aspect of the situation:

    not everyone's sexuality is like yours

    8a.) where does it end?

    since, it's your belief, we fags (deep down) wanna be chicks with dicks

    if we all are...
    ...then what?

    9.) i'm curious, how many of you transwomen would consider undertaking relations with transmen

    that includes, monogamy

    that includes, eating vagina (if the transman desires it) without complaint

    i'm listening

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    so, i want to acknowledge, zeb, the way you framed the matter was exceptionally-tactful and straight-forward

    which is to say, if any 'detractor' thereĂ€fter can read what you stated, and still wanna be combative / cantankerous — the issue, assuredly, is with them

    their contribution to the discussion is naught but noise

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    hey there zeb!
    thanks bud!

    it's not often i get to hear that — being a Thinking Man isn't very popular, y'know
    (especially-so, nowadays)

    all the same...
    ...i'm hoping, maybe my last 3 or 4 entries here shall hold the fort down
    (if not, at least, for a little while)

    i do wanna reĂŻterate, i fully embrace the reality of the situation

    i see, clearly, that our social fabric steadily disintegrates

    that, i know the voices of the Sane & Sensible, ordinarily, is handily drowned out by the clamor of the Wickéd & Idiotic

    =====

    i don't intend to trawl around uservoice forever, getting into it with everyone on the wrong side of the debate — be it about the ethnicity filter;
    or, be it about the legitimate need for Gender Divergents (and the men who pursue them) to have their own space,
    so they don't bother us and we don't bother them

    who knows?

    perhaps, in my stead, someone else can look to my past screeds, and use them to fight the good fight for me, while i handle my 180 messages

    (ha ha)

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    indeed:

    all of this talk of "filtering" is a non-starter, if people won't fill out their damnéd information properly

    which, in this modern era of unmitigated, unrepentant weirdness
    —people, earnestly endeavouring to out-do each other in meaningless "Edginess" and Subversion;
    and, ardently attempting to "creatively interpret" / forcibly re-define basic words, concepts and ideas that really should be left well enough alone—
    by the day is increasingly more frequent

    though, you could argue, those who opt out of correctly labeling themselves, may opt to spend their time with similar rabble‱rousers — away from the general population who *did* comply with the Community Effort of maintaining peace, common decency, and order

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    lylli.

    i don't need my usual walls of text to explain how *you* are precisely one of "Those Ones" who make it exceedingly difficult for other transwomen to engender mainstream acceptance
    (though, in spite of myself, i'm gonna Wall It Up anyway)

    to your credit, at least you borne the humility to concede the necessity of Identity Filtering;
    unfortunately, you'd spewed forth so many other, irrefutably-Trash Statements along with it—

    —your predicating your counter‱argument on the premise of,
    We homos all fawn over this supposéd "forbidden" Str8 Fruit,
    unequivocally-demonstrates why I, and anyone else with some sense in their brains, should not remotely take you serious, lass

    1.) explain for me, cogently, how any aspects of my reasoning were "illogical"?

    2.) it is true, i may only speak for myself on this matter.

    never-the-less:
    in my day-to-day affairs, i can 100% confirm for you, i keep my focus /solely/ tracked on guys who already ARE "for me"

    i'd *fully* relinquished the『"turning" a straight man』fantasy nineteen years ago
    (a 'fantasy' that never was very strong in my mind to begin with!)

    ‱ if, a sexy-as-fuck straight man does happen to decide i'm the one he can subvert his long-held sexuality for?
    of course i'm not gonna say "no" to him

    what horny homo would reject such an opportunity?

    he can experiment away, so long as he's not a creep about it

    ‱ but, guess what lyl?
    if that event never does organically transpire?
    i'm not losing a single wink of sleep over it

    ‱ concurrently, i'd engaged in the practice of consistently removing, from my grid, self-declared androphobes (trans-chasers) LONG before i knew "uservoice" existed

    and i axe androphobes without prejudice—
    —**especially** the 'hot' ones
    (the ones who aren't too cowardly to show their faces;
    to own their strange proclivities)

    2a.) i say i can speak only for myself on that matter; yet, i'm confident a **very** large number of other mentally-stable gay men, also, could not give a flying fuck about "turning" straight guys

    that's one 'agenda,' markedly ABSENT from our daily, monthly, or yearly itineraries

    2b.) apparently, in your world, lylli..
    ..there are no objectively-attractive, {cis-masc / masc-presenting}, gay men?

    i'm not sure how you managed to make such an oversight..
    ..did you get the idea in yer head, we {cis/masc}-seeking homos are all Ken Dolls?
    that, only your "straight" suitors may be Hot Roughneck Masculinos, and are a treat reserved exclusively for women?

    i can reach no other conclusion than this—
    —considering your (implicit) presumption our tribe faces such an extreme lack of compatible Masc / Masc-Presenting Options (even if our grids weren't populated with so many Undesireds), that,
    we perenially wile away for some mythical Confused Bloake,
    in the hopes one of ÂŽem might deign grace us with his presence,
    for the chance of finally making ourselves whole?

    (where did you get /that/ notion from?)

    3.) i theorize: if anything, transwomen relish in the delusional fantasy of "turning" a straight man—
    (or, if you prefer an alternative framing of this scenario, Charming an ardent hetero into forsaking a cis-woman to be with you)
    —significantly-more than we

    3a.) i don't know this for sure but, i suspect transwomen don't mix that often with other transwomen

    which is fine — and perfectly understandable

    ÂŽs just a thought i have in my pretty little head

    4.) as based on your glib gloating...
    ...one aspect of Basic Human Sexuality which i surmise you haven't grasped is, the reasons why a straight man **wouldn't** hit up dudes
    on, why, "straight" men are—if, only, once—gonna convene with adequately-passable transwomen instead, over us cis/mascs

    4a.) *real* straight men, by definition, natively desire women and their womanly features — *and* straight men can never bear sexual interest in, nor feel sexual arousal for, any iteration of another man, a man's physique, or his Genitalia

    so, they're not gonna find themselves prowling around on grindR

    That's.
    Point.
    Blank.

    And.

    Period.

    ‱ ®ain't no Heteros on that app, in the first place—
    —any one of those gentlemen *you* connect with, at best, are gynophilic/androphobic bi-sexuals, //
    are deeply closeted, and wallowing in the nile,
    // or, at worst, are mere Fetishists who view you as the means to their freakish, selfish end

    (bonus points, of course, if your "straight" man stays as true to his Professed Nature as possible, by avoiding all reasonable contact with your junk whenever he's "interacting" with you

    maybe, even, caging you and shaving you

    i mean..
    ..that's the entire point of snagging yourself a Breeder — yeah?
    his being that guy who isn't just another cock-hungry faggot like the rest //
    // but is a *real* Manly Man who's gonna imagine he's plowing a woman's snatch the entire time he's deep in your manhole?)

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    if you're lucky, your guy may be seeking the "full course" — opposed to, treating you like a glorified fleshlight
    (if you're lucky.
    but, the moment he intentionally / knowingly interacts with your genitals, for Pleasuring Purposes. . . . .)

    4b.) as an aside: i want to highlight the transwomen & crossdressers who can't,
    or can't afford to,
    or don't *want* to "pass"

    those women, functionally, are as a full-fledged dude in a straight man's eyes

    you forgot about them lyl?

    5.) also.

    lylli?

    in spite of the societal / psychological handicaps you're already saddled with, as a sufferer of gender dysphoria...
    ...if you had, in fact, "60 messages" in your queue as you claimed..
    ..why on earth were you up in this thread, debating distastefully with me / us?

    5a.) sorry\not-sorry for the following ad hominem—

    —but..
    ..it's an arduous, herculean task for *decent* individuals to establish sustained, quality connections with other humans;
    from where i'm sitting, lass: i feel justified in questioning how many from those "60" hits you boasted about actually are worthwhile, above-board people

    and, not, Categorical Gutter Trash

    6.) we're not trying to erase Transfolk from existence, or The Family

    (and, there is no "competition" to speak of, when men like me never were a consideration for the androphobes)

    that never was what any of this 'bickering' was about

    would you accuse me of being "phobic" against lesbians if they were to crowd up grindR, and i complained?

    can you look me in my cyber eyes and tell me, honestly, you'd be fine with *your* grid getting taken over like that?

    would you still come at me with all this Sunshine & Rainbows talk of "unconditional inclusion" when it becomes even more difficult for you to get your own dick / bussy wet?

    We A Family?

    i'm all for LGBTQ+ inclusivity.
    At The Right Times & Places.

    grindR's not one of these "right places" for no-holds-barred commingling.

    6a.) see what happens, indeed, with an adult connections site that professes an Open Arena for any and all to come through, irrespective of gender identity / sexual orientation — while following grindR's shitty ass business model

    how do *you* reckon this would look like?

    be objective.

    think with your head.
    not your heart.

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    1.) i don't condone or endorse eugene, or anyone who comports themselves as eugene had

    2.) i don't endorse or condone right wingers, or right-wing rhetoric

    2a.) while i'm not "left wing," i do actively detest right-wingers with a perfect passion

    3.) naasik, what are you basing your claim about us gay men on?

    ÂŽsounds to me like you're calling all of us "transphobic"

    3a.) i'm not white

    i'm not white,
    i never shall be confused for "white",
    i don't feel any urge to *be* White

    i assure you, i don't limit myself to just white men, either — all flavours of cis/masc-presenting man are welcome for mustache rides

    4.) "allyship" has nothing to do with what makes my dick hard, naasik

    i am 100% empathetic towards female-presenting men's / transwomen's plights,
    and am willing to personally put a bullet through the head of anyone who murders an innocent sufferer of gender dysphoria,
    while, at the same time, harbouring 0% desire to ever bone one myself

    4a.) my "0% desire" ain't got nothin' to do with "society" pressuring me into phobically-rejecting transwomen / female-presenting men

    (the same goes for *actual* women

    you know: the sex which you model yourselves after?)

    what turns my cranks was already established in my hard-wiring from the moment my two halves first converged in my mother's uterus—
    —established, and activated, long before i was informed that i was *supposed* to be pining for chicks

    come to think of it..
    ..if i had to conjure up a number on the matter, Transfolk (woman or man) didn't *truly* enter my realm of consciousness in any substantive way until, freakin', 2011

    almost two decades after i'd first jerked it to pics of speedo-clad musclemen in bodybuilding magazines

    so, no
    no, i had no one in my life telling me "you gotta stay away from the trannies"
    "trannies are sick in the head"
    "how anyone's dick can get hard for those confused wannabes is beyond me..."

    when i was growing up, people in my community didn't concern themselves with transwomen, or drag queens for that matter, at all

    you wanna know what i *did* hear, as a kid, though?

    "you a faggie"
    "stay away from the faggie"
    "why don't you be a real man?"
    "you know queers are gonna burn in hell right?"

    i am wholeheartedly glad my being effeminate / excruciatingly-soft was only a phase that i was able to mostly shake off, beginning at fourteen

    5.) i'm just as "phobic" to women;
    as i am "phobic" to the `straightÂŽ men who make it clear they aren't attracted to other men;
    as i am "phobic" to the bisexual and gay cis/masc-men whose looks and/or attitudes don't appeal to me;
    as i am "phobic" to the Ghosts who somehow feel they are entitled to demanding "pics" from me, though my profile already has 5 face-showing photos there

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    ÂŽmatter of fact...
    ...even when adjusted for "scale" — i am willing to bet anyone here a million, my block list holds an equal proportion of dudes to chicks, if not larger

    including many, *many* "traditionally attractive" cis\masc fellas whose balls i would've licked, and whose holes i would've bred, in a heart's beat,
    who i've made disappear, instead — several of them, (obvious) catfish, of course; but the rest got 86'd because of their attitudes / habits / behaviour..
    ..OR because they told me they didn't wanna connect with me

    (at which point, keeping them around on my grid is pointless)

    6.) nothing good can come from your continued insistence upon indiscriminately weaponizing "Phobia" against anyone who doesn't want to sleep with you or / and advocates for proper separation

    6a.) speaking bluntly: your doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down against us gay cis-men, in the manner that you are, demonstrates for me a profound lack of logical reasoning, foresight, and ability to think of other people's feelings / struggles

    gender dysphoria, and all that comes with it, sucks

    i readily acknowledge this

    but your having that condition does not obligate anyone else to accept you into their beds when they don't want to, or to just silently sit back and take it when there's conflict

    7.) alexx—

    —just like eugene, you were engaging in very problematic behaviour too

    explain for us why we gay men *need* to have an experience with transwomen / transsexual men / crossdressers?

    going by your logic, "straight" men *need* to have an experience with us cis/mascs before they can say for sure what they do and don't like

    what makes us gay men "haters"?

    8.) time and time again, i've laid out various iterations of these above arguments yet it seems like nothing almost ever sticks

    8a.) but i already know what one main reason for this is: on both sides, there are too many intellectually / emotionally stunted people

    wouldn't life be much easier, if such profound disturbances of the brain weren't so pervasive

    8b.) the recently-burgeoning compromise, proposed by the gays, of making grindR allow users to section off one's grid by gender / sex WITHOUT PAYWALL struck me as pretty common sense

    yet, i haven't really seen any transwoman on here, or the other thread, acknowledge this

    several others, like jhonatan below me, TL;DR'd the sentiment, so "having to read through walls of text to see the suggestion" isn't an excuse

    9.) naasik

    yes, actually — the pervasiveness IN GENERAL of individuals on our grids who we don't want to, or CAN'T, have sex with,
    on a platform that was not originally marketed to us as being "open to all" (which it isn't — if it was, why have i not seen a lesbian ONCE in my 4 years on grindR? why don't transwomen and "straight" men bother the lesbians on their apps?) is very much problematic

    depending on where you live, there can be up to 25% transwomen / crossdressers and 25% "straight" men taking up squares at a given moment

    blocking what you don't want to see is only a piss-poor band‱aid, for reasons i've covered a few weeks back

    9a.) "phobia" may only be flung around so much before it loses its intended, original meaning, mate

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    https://news.ucr.edu/articles/2023/03/08/study-examines-straight-men-and-their-sexual-attraction-transgender-women

    women?

    i want to bring to your attention, this largely-unspoken Facet of Reality which often gets overlooked: many of us gay and bi men (the non-delusional ones, anyway) want all the "straight" jokers gone from off our grids too

    because our bottom line, our end goal?
    that remains the same, in all this madness — if a connection isn't even a *remote* possibility..
    ..if the Sexual Congress proceedings are a non-starter?

    there's no need to show up to the fiesta in the first place.
    especially, not at a platform which prides itself on restricting the activities of The Unpaying through any means it can get away with.

    so, you see? our "agenda" doesn't only "target" you

    if you wish to continue bringing "phobia" into this discussion, you should posit that guys like me are just as phobic against transwomen as we are phobic against the "straights"

    viewed in those terms, i suppose you need to be as mortified for your "straight" cohorts as you are for yourselves, in this Grid War

    or?
    or, maybe, you should finally get it through your heads, this never was a matter of "transphobia"—
    —of a lit stove calling a broiling oven "hot"

    a man's not wanting to mingle with women isn't inherently transphobic or misogynist

    a gay/bi man's not wanting to waste their time with "straight" men who they can never be fucked by or suck off isn't inherently hetero(andro)phobic

    speaking of delusion: yes, i do understand your frustration as a (trans)woman, for you to have even fewer (safe / less risky) options available than cis-MSM
    how, as things currently stand, a lot of times you just can't know, from simple observation, whether that bearded, macho-looking man you've set your sights on is gonna *want* himself a sissy to ream mercilessly or, if he fancies another Strapping Bearded Lad to fuck the living dog shit from out of him

    i hear ya

    but.
    the same way we gay/bi men are expected to respect the preferences of the heteroes, so shall you, of the trans tribe, respect the preferences of the bi/gay men

    you gotta know, that in staying here and hashing this out, day after day, month after month, year after year, ad nauseam, with us, you're expending precious energy fighting the wrong battle, against the wrong opponent

    we gay men are not your enemy

    we're not out there harassing you, or murdering you
    your vaunted "Straight" Boys are significantly-more likely to hurt you in a way that ISN'T imagined, before me or anyone else like me ever would

    =====

    tenorio—

    —i wouldn't recommend your paying for grindr under *any* circumstance

    their customer support is horrid; and they're apparently stripping features away from xtra as well, while still increasing its pricing

    and i hear tell, that unlimited members have to deal with buggy chat just as much as the free members

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    we all a community?

    alright

    i got'cha, k pierce

    so, i trust that you have accounts (which you actively use) on meet-up apps designed for lesbians as well?

    how about the meet-up apps which cater to the transgendered?

    tindr?
    bumble?
    hinge?

    since we all a community

    i mean..
    ..at the end of the day, We All Human — so why not partake of the heterosexual meet-up apps too?

    =====

    ah.

    by the way.

    "Grindr - Gay chat" is what Grindr LLC calls itself in the android app store.
    ("Grindr - Gay Dating & Chat" in apple's app store.)
    but grindR "never stated it was an app for gay m(e)n"?

    might you be able to explain this contradiction for me, k pierce?

    also..
    ..with the way you worded it?
    i am given the impression that, like javi, you're not a gay man either.

    speaking of "equality" — how do you reckon most average women would appreciate average men being with them in ladies' public lavatories?
    women's locker / changing rooms?

    for that matter, what might average (intelligent) men think about average women showing up in men's restrooms / locker rooms?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    javi..
    ..that's a pretty ignorant thing to say

    i take it, you're not a gay man

    i will also deduce, you're one of those "straight" guys who have a grindr profile which says something like, "i'm not interested in masculinos"

    tell me why it is, your distaste for men (including, masculine women) isn't homophobic but, somehow, a gay man's distaste for women (including, feminine men) is transphobic / misogynist?

    make that make sense for me, bruv

    make it make sense for me how, in your "argument," you didn't know to use the terms "transphobic" / "gynophobic"?

    i think, if anyone is mad, it's you

    you're mad, that you're more of a societal outcast than gay men are: that, people think it's even weirder for you "straight" guys to be seeking out chicks with dicks—
    (if only they knew how, in some of these arrangements, it's the Dicky Chick who's the top, while the "masculine" man is the cum-slurping bottom!)
    —than it is for a big burly man to be laying up with another bruno machote

  4. 2,578 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    (unchecked) mental dysfunction makes people do inexplicable things

    🙂

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    in 2011, xtra cost $4.97—
    (in today's dollars, $6.74)
    —a month

    (there was no "unlimited" until 2019: three years after joel simkhai sold grindr to 𝐛𝐞𝐱𝐣𝐱𝐧𝐠-đ€đźđ§đ„đźđ§)

    i wonder..
    ..i wonder about how membership dues managed to climb from $6.74/month to $39.99/month

    =====

    @ w f

    i make you the promise,
    as 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯 as i see lesbians mixed in my grid,
    with the expectation that i'm just supposed to sit back, shut up, and take it, without any recourse,
    i'm out

    i'm out, and am đ§đžđŻđžđ« looking back

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎

    in the back of my mind, resides the thought on whether it's really just a small, vocal minority of mentally-unwell "women" who enjoy kicking up such a big stink over this

    because it's.. ..supremely-illogical to me, how the "women" fight with us so vehemently, towards the cause of maintaining an 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 which really doesn't benefit đ™©đ™đ™šđ™ą that much

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎

    i would love to know who was on grindr when it first opened:

    after conscientiously-avoiding the app for over a decade,
    i finally caved, joining in 2019—
    (2 years after FOSTA-SESTA killed craigslist, and all the other on-line avenues which "women" had to discreetly link with their self-loathing, predatory, queer buddies)
    —which does mean, rightfully, i cannot speak to how many "women" there were, or 𝘾𝘩𝘳𝘩𝘯'đ˜”, co-inhabiting the space, back then

    of course, i do presume grindr was very much a cis-gay (and cis-bi) haven, in its heyday — certainly so, for those regions where there wasn't a notable population of gender dysphorics to account for

    given my prior experiences with growlr and scruff, a "gay haven" was what i had in mind about grindr when i signed-up: 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 = 𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚜, they say

    as i said before: had i known what the đ™–đ™˜đ™©đ™Ș𝙖𝙡 reality was.. ..i probably would have continued abstaining

    that way, i could've employed those 10 - 13 hours of my life i'd eventually go on to lose, for something else better, other than kicking about here on uservoice@grindr — uservoice@grindr, whose matronly moderator is A.W.O.L.

    grindr@uservoice — whose matronly moderator wouldn't lift a finger to port this issue from here, over to george arison's inbox,
    for him to iron out a solution to make all sides happy (call it "segregation" if you wish),
    even if she đ°đžđ«đž active

    anyway
    that's basically the crux of my argument: if it was made clear, from day zero, grindr purports to be an all-inclusive hang, the "women" (and queers) would be well within their rights to chastise us for changing a system that was already firmly in place

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    yeah

    seriously though

    i know it'll never happen—
    (because "unity" and "cohesion" are non-existent {which, considering the circumstances, is presciently-ironic for me to lament about, i'm aware})
    —but, i would love to know what the others would say if we gay men just up and left

    if we take care of the problem by "separating" ourselves from grindr

    through fully portraying itself as an "all-inclusive" app, grindr will drive away its original target demographic
    (a self-defeating move, if ever i come across any)

    𝙱𝙖𝙣, do i wish we gays could unite-and-boycott

    there are still a lot of people who don't know how to disable grindr's execrable ads..

    ..well?

    with this boycott:
    between their being gone, and the other revenue getting stricken by those who aren't paying for memberships anymore, i reckon grindr management finally would take notice

    but by then it'll be too late

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎
    sure

    let's let đ™šđ™«đ™šđ™§đ™źđ™€đ™Łđ™š in

    lesbians?

    𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 heterosexual men?

    asexuals?

    animal fuckers?

    heck—
    —the đ°đĄđšđ„đž 𝐳𝐹𝐹 should get in on the action

    since, you know, grindr never was intended to be an app for men-seeking-men

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    hey

    are any of youse familiar with charles aznavour's 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 "𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏"?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_8ShLxS-pU — live performance, 1980
    (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PodyJFKJI1I — original 1972 recording: with better sound quality, but is 𝒂𝒖𝒅𝒊𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚)

    would you believe, this ditty is one of my all-time favourites?

    i am đ™„đ™šđ™§đ™›đ™šđ™˜đ™©đ™Ąđ™ź savvy on what this song of old chuck's is about

    a poignant, subtly-haunting piece

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎
    ‎
    my fellow cis-homos!

    you feel up for sharing one of đ˜șđ˜°đ˜¶đ˜ł GᮜÉȘʟ᎛ʏ Pʟᎇᎀꜱ᎜ʀᎇꜱ?

    an unexpected 𝐠𝐚đČ đąđ§đđźđ„đ đžđ§đœđž which serves as a cogent reminder your own 𝑿 chromosomes shall not be repressed — no matter if you're the most đ™ŒđšŠđš—đš•đšą đ™ŒđšŠđš— within a 4,000‱mile radius?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    alright.

    kris?

    may i pose you these queries?

    these queries, on who you are sexually attracted to?
    on, who you aren't sexually attracted to?

    i'll set the framework for what sort of response to give that, by answering ÂŽem myself:

    mainly,
    but not 100% exclusively,
    my attraction lay with normal(-ish) cis-men who, for most occasions, land between 5.5 - 8.5, out of 10, on the feminine↔androgynous↔masculine spectrumÂč;

    i am open to relations with some vagina-bearing trans‱men — and, yes, i believe i would engage in cunnilingus with a trans‱man. . . . .so long as 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 Personal Hygiene, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 Grooming, are observed;

    i can connect (and đ™đ™–đ™«đ™š connected) with masculine-looking, but slightly "campy," hombres too
    (for example...
    ...i'm imagining đ—șđ—Œđ—±đ—Čđ—żđ—»-đ—Č𝗿𝗼 đ—¶đ˜‡đ—źđ—źđ—ž 𝘀đ—șđ—¶đ˜đ—”
    —who i 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 have a huge crush on, just as a general matter of speaking—
    as good-natured, campy muscle bear: i reckon i'd stick to izaak like purple on an eggplant

    {ha ha})

    so long as, i can pick up on a modicum of The Essence of Man (as I define it), with the person whom i'm dealing. . . . .

    -----

    for the other side of the coin:
    simply, i feel no natural sexual\emotional attraction for women
    ‱ to, overt / wanton effeminateness
    ‱ "traditional" / "conventional" female traits
    ‱ 𝒉𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒓-feminization
    ‱ breasts, and ᎄ᎜ʀᎠᎀᎄᎇᎏ᎜ꜱɎᎇꜱꜱ, do nothing for me, either

    one's hairstyling, also, matters—
    —keeping it brief: i'll tell you i gravitate, heavily, toward "conventionality (đ˜”đ˜Șđ˜±đ˜° đ˜źđ˜ąđ˜Žđ˜€đ˜¶đ˜­đ˜Ș𝘯𝘰)"

    =====

    so...
    ...tell me who you piques you, kris

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎
    ‎
    Âč are there any men who *naturally* place a 9.0 - 10 out of 10, on this spectrum?
    they're probably exceedingly rare
    i rank myself as 7.4 - 8.1, typically
    i do experience 6.6 or, even, 5.9 days, every now and then

    (đŸ…¶đŸ†„đŸ†đŸ…»đŸ…”đŸ†đŸ…ŽđŸ…œ)

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    oh.

    by the by.

    i was only, sort of, rhetorically asking you guys about whether a large number of female-presenting men engage in the practice of Block Evasion,
    via deleting‱then‱re-creating accounts,
    AND/OR through creating multiple concurrent accounts.

    i can tell you point blank, the "women" also do this.

    All.
    The.
    Time.

    i wanted to upload 9 screenshots, documenting 4 such "women"; however, the option to attach files from within uservoice has been removed since the last time i utilized it..
    ..so i'm forced to leave Links to an outside site to do the job

    by-the-by (2):
    there are, on my block list, scads more "women" besides the four i'm featuring,
    who have, several times, "lost their chats";
    but i'm not trying to spend all day combing through my Shit List — i reached my maximum on it, probably, back in 2021

    (that's a lot to try showcasing)

    at any rate, all of this is more geared towards the individuals who love chiming in with, "if you don't like seeing trans people, just block them"

    yeah?

    if only it were that simple. . . . .

    -----

    at this point..
    ..what good is blocking, anyway?
    when thoughtless, selfish people who only think with their second brains, simply circumvent it every time via Delete / Re‱Create—
    —or, worse, by conjuring up Multis: causing us Disinterested Folk to eventually have several dead accounts in our block lists, wasting space?

    that of itself should be a bannable offense

    =====

    you will take note, there are plenty of cis-men (a couple of whom, may be considered very "conventionally attractive") in my blocks too

    so —again— i don't want to hear anything about "transphobia"

    as, in case you need reminding of this: i am a **gay** man

    not "heterosexual"
    not bi-sexual
    not hetero-flexible

    i don't have any weird or "alternative" definitions of Gay going on.
    meaning, i'm only seeking men (convincing, normal{-ish} transmen included).
    thusly, it is a categorical Waste of Time for me, for women (a.k.a. "female-presenting men") to be on my grid,
    as it is a inexorable Waste of Time for women, for me to be on their grids.

    it's GrindR.
    not Christian Mingle.

    =====

    here are my screenshots of the "Artful" Dodgers

    https://ibb.co/KzQJSbP
    https://ibb.co/bmsnZ6G
    https://ibb.co/P1RB04Z
    https://ibb.co/dJ1tNZp
    https://ibb.co/0QmxjMW
    https://ibb.co/rFtd2bd
    https://ibb.co/rsxgX4f
    https://ibb.co/N3qCXxH
    https://ibb.co/Bcq6DmR

    for those of you who think you might notice a pattern—
    —let me make it known, it just so happens that One Segment of the trans\woman population in my area are more prone to "losing their chats" / not taking "no" for an answer than others
    which is why, that segment is the one which got showcased the most in my screencaps

    don't worry: i am an Equal Opportunity Blocker

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    ya know..
    ..all of this is reminding me of one of the very first things i did, after creating my inaugural account (back in 2019) and getting on the grid — which was, going on a mass BʟᎏᎄᎋÉȘÉŽÉą ExᮘᮇᮅÉȘᮛÉȘᎏɎ, (fruitlessly) removing each and every "woman" / androgynous person who appeared there

    (by the by: i hold no hard feelings for anyone who wishes to block me, due to my being and looking like a masculine cis-man;
    so, i don't want to hear anything about "transphobia" or "gynophobia" — especially if you're an androphobe

    𝐭𝐹 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 đ­đĄđžđąđ« 𝐹𝐰𝐧, right?)

    i have to wonder.. ..are there really đ˜”đ˜©đ˜ąđ˜” 𝘼𝘱𝘯đ˜ș transgender women, and gender-fluid / transsexual men, in my neighbourhood?
    or is it, rather, that these are the same individuals who continually / perpetually make new accounts, in an attempt to block evade?
    perhaps, it's a combination of both?

    though, i don't quite apprehend what one wishes to accomplish, via the đ˜Łđ˜­đ˜°đ˜€đ˜Ź đ˜Šđ˜·đ˜ąđ˜Žđ˜Ș𝘰𝘯 tactic—
    —doing this won't make you "seen" or "visible" to those of us who are only interested in other 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 / 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆-𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝚌𝚒𝚜- / 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜-𝚖𝚎𝚗, on what originally was an app designed for men
    (yes: including my femme brethren)

    persistent block evading will have the 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎 intended effect, on those of us whose attentions you're so insistent upon garnering

    i get annoyed by this when i observe 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒚 cis-men showing back up on my grid over and over, after i'd already eliminated them 2, 3, 4, even 6 - 11 times prior

    If I'm not attracted to you, I'm not attracted to you.

    (Periodt.)

    ‱ Especially, not when you do nothing to change who / what you are from the last time I nixxed you.
    ‱ Not when it's painfully obvious from your pictures, you are not "together" in your head.
    ‱ Or, if you're some vain peacock who gives off the impression you expect the world to cater to your every whim, while you personally offer nothing of worth in return.
    ‱ Or, whenever you can't take a respectfully-stated, tactful-but-direct rejection, the first time.

    =====

    https://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual

    an interesting read, for those who may be interested in learning more

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    at the end of the day, the problem really lay with grindR:
    grindR — which, on its storefront page, makes the claim, "The world's leading social network for gay, bi, trans, and queer people."

    okay.
    cool.

    that, alone, tells you everything you need to know about the situation

    it *would* be nice, if grindR were to allow filtering, so we gays don't have to deal with (or see) the "straight" men, or "women" on our grid; so that, the bi-sexuals can go bugger off and hang out with the "women," whenever their moods change

    so that, the constant bitching and moaning which we-all do may, once and for all, finally cease, so we can get on with our lives and enjoy the app the way we'd like

    it would also be nice, if you people didn't play any games with the Gender / Sex questions, and actually answer what's asked for honestly and accurately, so that the faction filtering may function at its maximum efficacy

    but, i have to try driving this point home once more..
    ..for all the arguing and bickering you guys do on here (and elsewhere), this one point seems lost on the vast majority: grindR is **not** interested in listening to you

    the only things the c-suites of grindR understand, are these:
    ‱ their own pain and suffering
    ‱ their own deaths (hopefully, due to a consequence of their Business Decisions)
    ‱ the near, or complete, loss of their money due to a sufficient number of people boycotting their product

    and even under these circumstances, those priggards don't normally learn the lesson we'd hope they'd grasp, from what happens when the customers they screw over get fed up and revolt

    ===

    the most common sense thing to do, is to provide separate spaces so that there may, finally, be a modicum of peace

    all the money which grindR (unfortunately) makes, i **know** they can do it

    grindR won't

    even if grindR did let us filter by gender / sex, grindR will only paywall it off.. ..thereby resolving nothing but, if anything, introducing yet another element of classism into our lives

    so
    what to do?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    joey, are you telling us / me this, as a fellow gay man; or, are you telling us / me this, as an individual with a more open range of attraction (pan / demi / bi / queer / et al.)?

    i don't reckon that a gay man—
    (the sexual identity, "gay," *not* being subjected to these multitudes of new-age interpretations)
    — who understands what's going on would make such an expectation of another gay man

    you surely must, by now, be aware grindr limits the number of blocks each of us have to our name

    concurrently, many don't know they are not supposed to waste their blocks on the infinite hoards of bots, massage / rent boys, and international scammers which grindr had, years ago, integrated into its system as a means of furtherly padding its revenue stream—
    —thereby chipping away at the erasures they can apply to actual humans

    for those of us who are picky (i know some of you are not): on its own, there is already a nigh never-ending stream of gay and bi-sexual fellas on the system who can be purged from the grid—
    —not factoring in those fellas who are mentally ill, mentally dysfunctional, meth-/crack-/heroine-/fentanyl-addicted, emotionally disturbed, and act with malice / negligence

    on top of this, we gay males have to see females on our grids too?

    2.) no reasonable, mentally sound person, would demand nor compel a staunch heterosexual to engage in homosexual acts,
    *or* to force them into an attraction for an individual who is of the "correct" sex and sexuality but who comports themselves as if they're not cis-/heterosexual

    so why can't we staunch homosexuals be allowed to enjoy our homosexuality in peace?

    who's it hurting, besides those who are not of the correct gender and/or sex whose affections, by definition, we cannot reciprocate?

    there is nothing misogynistic nor transphobic about our basic, hard-wired attraction

    and, again: no matter what any of you say, forcing gay males to commingle with females won't get either side anywhere far

    females—and those who are attracted to them—would be much, much better off with their (your) own space

    i know grindr has no intention of creating that much needed trans/female-friendly space,
    so believe me when i tell ya, joey, et al., i'm continuing to look for an alternative

    if i had the ability to, i would create that No Females space myself,
    but i don't have the money nor the programming experience for it

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    letsgrind, i agree

    i agree that all of us cis-males, who have zero (or little) sexual attraction to females—"females," worded as such intentionally—should ditch and never look back

    i've been sitting back and watching the comments, over these last couple of weeks, unfold here ever since i'd shared my latest thoughts on the matter

    it saddens me, more, how most of our gay brethren don't realize that grindR's "leaders" are perfectly content to keep things as they are — that, our griping here *never* will change anything

    they're more than content to allow grindR to become the latest headline of failure in the news, so long as they have their millions

    all those bastards understand is money

    if i knew that a class action lawsuit would strip those crooks,
    who've ruined what once was a great product for gay men
    —and passable transmen who have, to the best of their ability, fully committed to transforming into men—
    of all their wealth, i'd surely join in

    yet..
    ..i also know the reality
    it would take a literal miracle to finally kick grindR's current leadership out of their ivory tower

    but i suppose we can still try

    do you have any suggestions LG?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    i wonder, if the c-suites of grindR are reading through these comments, having a great laugh at all this tribal warfare we've been waging amongst ourselves for these past few years now, while enjoying their steadily-incoming millions

    they *have* the ability to make both sides happy, within a week's time (or less)

    but grindr has no interest in this

    =====

    to my trans-sisters (and your allies) out there, who have been "speaking out" here thus far:

    1.) you would have an exceptionally valid point, in arguing against us cis-gay men, if grindr had started off as an "all-inclusive" meeting app

    (again: "all-inclusive" would have to include our cis-lesbian sisters out there)

    if grindr had been like this from the beginning, i would have never joined

    because i am interested in other cis-men.

    2.) because i am interested in other cis-men, and passable trans-men.

    no amount of arguing with me, or others like me (especially, the men who only want other cis-men, period), will change that basic aspect of our attraction

    for the majority of us: our attraction, and desire to convene with other men, is no more "misogynistic" than it is "transphobic"

    i, as a gay man, would not force you of the trans tribe to commingle with cis-women, if that's not who you're attracted to — and i would not try gas-lighting you by claiming you're "misogynistic" for it

    do you understand where i'm coming from?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    would be funny if all us cis-man (and trans/masc), masc-attracted bloakes opted to abandon this shithole, as our final response to this takeover (and lack of appropriate response from the app management)

    just let the "straight" guys and the "women" take it all

    then we'll see who really needs whom

    grindR has been a shithole anyway, even /with/ all the fellow members who fit in the general demographic i say that i look for (who remain the {bare} majority, at least on my grid)

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    @Mak if you truly believe all of this, then you must be fine with sharing our space (your space) with the lesbian members of our "all inclusive" grindR community, too

    including, the biological men who transitioned to women, and demand to convene only with other transwomen

    on grindR

    (they're women, seeking other women — thus they're lesbians)

    this, to me, is the correct logical conclusion to (and fulfillment of) your stance on this matter

    no?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    honestly, it is more logical for you-all to have your own space

    you should *want* this for yourselves

    the main point of grindR is for finding sex connections

    i can't speak for the bisexuals; but, i do feel rather confident, you're not going to get many of us *truly* gay cis-/masc-guys to want to do anything with you

    it would be one thing if our ability to filter and block were unrestricted; but extremely restricted, grindR makes these — and a pricey premium, for those who do want access to the lackluster filtering suites grindR does offer

    as an FmAF, don't you want to maximize your matches?

    with grindR as it is, now, i can't imagine you're finding many (well-adjusted) dudes who aren't a hate crime just waiting to happen

    inclusivity isn't /always/ the best approach

    on the most basic level, most of us gay guys aren't being misogynistic — we're literally just following the direction our basic instinct takes us to

    if inclusivity is your true aim, then tell me you have accounts with lesbian-centric (bi-sexual women, included) sites too
    do you think we gay guys do?
    straight men?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    i'm only on 3 apps;—
    ;—i'd abandoned cruising for ass and dick from my desktop almost a decade ago: when gay(dot)com and men4sexnow were killed off;
    manhunt eventually became the template from which scruff (which, itself, does some pretty bad pay-walling too) modeled itself;
    bear411 became less and less reliable;
    and, adam4adam became an even more-toxic cesspool of panhandlers, caspers, and mentally ill men

    ironically (and sadly), grindR remains the only one of my 3 present cruise apps i've had the most "success" on, to this day

    in my area (and with my life circumstances), my options for connections are fairly lacking
    ~though i do appear to be fairly popular abroad~

    i tell you all this, to declare that in consideration of the current landscape, i don't need a million of these hookup apps on my phone, when i know 70 - 95% of the members (and the end results) on them are gonna be the same all across

    so, re-direct your energy from demanding we cis-gays deal with you, and your "straight" cohorts, invading our turf unabated (which, honestly, really doesn't make much sense anyway), back towards grindR, for forcing them to provide us the proper separation we need so all of us can enjoy a better chance of finding what we desire

    or, AGAIN: you can always create your own app

    problem, solved

    ==

    not everything needs to be open to everyone

    "safe spaces" for transwomen to congregate / commiserate — you want us men to be in there with all our testosterone, ruining your ambiance?

    you want us men to join you in your women's bathrooms?

    also, grindR is a private business — the owners (shitty as they are) have some rights to say who their creation is for

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    it says more about you, than me, that you (as a fellow black man, no less) got this upset about my commentary on the subject, brandon

    i reckon my "roll" travels along just fine, thank you

    the reasons i reject individuals is just that: on an individual basis

    though, it is perfectly valid for me to categorically-exclude the unhygienic, psychopaths, the willfully ignorant, murderers, and trump supporters

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    michael, you'd have a profoundly-valid point if the app in question was one that started off as a general lgbtq meet-up app, OR an app that caters to FmAFs and the FmAF-attracted

    any "regular" gay man who then signs up with the app, knowing that's how the app is like, thus has zero grounds to complain about sharing the space with FmAFs / FmAF-attracted, and is prime for being decried as whatever "phobe" you'd like to call him if he does

    but, grindR was not one such app

    grindR, first and foremost, was an app catered to us cis-men, who sought other cis-men

    no one asked us if we were okay with ceding our space to FmAF-attracted / FmAFs

    it's already difficult enough for us gay men to connect on our hookup apps, due to all the phobias, the general mental dysfunctions, and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference" WE have to face, every second of every hour

    being compelled to share our space with women, and those who only want women, simply is untenable

    but, the most culpable, in this problem, remains grindR leadership — they have the power to give you-lot your own separate space, so as to reduce conflict

    grindR chooses not to do so

    gay men don't want women
    gay men don't want men who don't want other men

    what about, what WE want?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    at the end of the day, grindR ultimately remains responsible for this mess we're in

    let's suppose, though, grindR does finally restore the ethnicity filter, and also provides a separate, dedicated FmAF/FmAF-seeking space

    you just know, grindR is going to eventually paywall *that* off from the general public as well; or (doubtful), if grindR doesn't paywall these additions, they'd instead just play it slick by furtherly-reducing app functionality for us non-paying members through future downgrades—
    —like the money-hungry, soulless, greedy bitches they are

    (which would be a mega-feat to accomplish, in and of itself, considering how unusable grindR has already made itself, up to this point in September 2022)

    ======

    but, to provide a bit of TL;DR for those of you out there who want to "forget" / ignore how grindR markets itself: grindR is Gay Chat
    it's right there in its splash page when you go to download the app for the first time

    i mean, you don't see lesbians running around on grindR, do you?
    wouldn't that be odd if you did?
    and, wouldn't you FmAFs take issue with lesbians going there, to where the homos are, proclaiming "NO MEN!", being on grindR?

    well, use your empathy to step into our shoes

    i get that a lot of you are just as horned up for manly dick / hole like we are

    however, we homos have been complaining about the takeover of our space for a reason

    we're not saying, you can't exist
    we're saying, "exist on your own platform"

    and for those homos who like FmAFs, they will know to go where you are
    which would ultimately make everyone happy — surely?

    (ain't that right, letsgrind?)

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    @sb — for the most part, i do agree with you..

    ..but, the underlying "sticking point" remains

    a sticking point, that's a "clashing" of conflicting interests

    as far as grindR itself goes, it is my belief: there is a concurrence of, both, the small sub-faction of us who elect to be vocal about our feelings, and the majority who also wish grindR was focused on cis-men..
    —cis-men who actually seek other cis-men—
    ..but opt to keep quiet about this preference of theirs

    (myself: i am open to connecting with transmen..
    ..transmen who have committed to being manly
    like pashan)

    you are correct, of course, that the lobbing of insults at the transfolk while arguing the point is unnecessary. i don't condone that.

    yet, the fact remains: for most of us homos, it truly is nothing personal against female-aligned transfolk, "femme" guys, and the female-aligned crossdressers ("FmAF" for short — inclusive of the so-referenced crossdressers and femmes).. ..but our dicks just can't get hard for you.
    we're pursuing manliness. beards. hard pecs. in a lot of cases, hairy bodies. sometimes, even, a strong belly.
    it truly is nothing personal against FmAFs but, your (purposely) fashioning yourself into a woman makes the proposition a literal non-starter for the cis-man_seeking gays — all we're really saying is, we don't want our precious, limited grid squares taken up by people we can never willingly make sex with

    there is no forcing the point here: even if you are occupying the same space as us cis-Men Seekers, you still cannot compel us to actually go and hook up with you, or to scare up an attraction that simply cannot exist..
    ..so, at the end of the day — even if you get what you think you want, by remaining on in our space, you're going to find yourself in the same position regardless: getting politely declined (at best); or being blocked; or ignored; or worse
    "half a dozen of one" is still "six of the other"

    what i *would* tell you (if i had to guess), is the bi-sexual cis-guys who hang out on grindR probably are more likely to be attracted to FmAFs
    (i reference actual bisexuals.
    not the self-loathing man haters, or the fetishists.)
    with this caveat in mind, i am compelled to concede, it is completely logical for you to gravitate to an app that also serves as a home for cis-byes

    but..you see the mess we're in now, because of the overlapping of interests
    this particular "venn diagramming" works out fine enough for the cis-man attracted FmAFs, and for the cis-byes who are open to "whatever" — but, not quite so much for us gay beard warmers, who have to compete with limited resources

    the easiest solution here is for grindR to create a separate FmAF / FmAF-lover space for you to do your thing in
    i refuse to believe doing so is *that* difficult

    also: i do want to remind you, once more, we *are* in 2022.
    this "digital" age.

    in this age, you truly can create your own "all-inclusive" app, with what surely must be relative ease.
    an app, in which no-holds-are-barred on who pursues (and is pursued by) whom.
    and like i said a couple of months ago: i give you my SOLEMN pledge, i won't go trudging through your space.
    (probably.)

    in this digital age, i feel like you are able to call on fellow FmAFs / FmAF-lovers to pool your money together to conjure up your app and get the word out there about it.

    who knows?
    maybe you could even create the alternative to grindR we-all need: implementing all the (reasonable) suggestions we leave here, that are largely ignored.
    allow a space for cis-men to hunt other cis-men, unfettered, and even i might throw a few dollars your way

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    ya know?
    bruce wagner made a very good point, in the review he left for this app at google's play store earlier today.
    he stated, "grindr identifies itself as ``gay chatÂŽÂŽ."

    and this is true.

    it says as much right up there in the heading: "Grindr — Gay chat"

    so..
    ..let me put it to you like this: i, as a gay cis-man, only have accounts with growlr, scruff, and this flaming hot mess

    that's it.
    that's all.

    not-a-once, has it ever occurred to me to take my little gay ass over to bumble, or hinge, or tinder, or any other breeder grounds, to go bothering those folks there with my『manly man』cocklust

    nor have i ever stuck my nose in the other dating apps that are marketed for lesbians or the transfolk (in spite of my potential attraction for transmen)
    ~apps marketed specifically for transfolk / lesbians do exist, by the way~

    so..
    ..if i —as a horny, cock-loving gay man— am able to exercise enough restraint to not intrude upon others' spaces... ...why am i being expected to accept (and LOVE!!) intrusions from other tribes?

    grindr should be a space for cis-men who desire other cis-men

    grindr should not be a space for confused cis-men who literally turn their noses up to other (masculine) cis-men, demanding the attentions of "women" ONLY instead so they can pretend in their little warped minds they're still heterosexual

    this is the digital arena we're talking about here — it's not as if it is impossible to create other apps which can cater to any and all combinations of lgbtqi+

    hell:
    for that matter, the confused bloakes are more than free to create their own app — "manz4tranz" or something like that

    they can create it: and i promise you, i'll continue maintaining my "i'm steering fucking clear of your area" policy towards it
    i wouldn't even go searching for it

    why?

    because (even if i don't agree with it) i can respect people's ~legal~ sexual preferences

    (plus, i'm really tired of seeing all these hot, butch guys on my grid whose balls i'll never be able to lick; whose holes, i'll never be able to pound

    the pseudo-breeders are as functionally useless for me, as the "i'm not bigoted, it's just my preference" fuckers)

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    how does one go about tweeting at grindr?

    sorry to be a dinosaur but, i try to minimize my dealings with that platform

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    yeah...

    ...honestly?

    at the end of the day, removing the ethnicity filter truly was a meaningless, non-effectual gesture on grindR's part

    because, those who are gonna discriminate (due to their prejudice / bias), are gonna discriminate regardless

    not having the filter there to intervene merely adds one more step to that inevitable 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙡đ™Șđ™šđ™žđ™€đ™Ł đ™‹đ™§đ™€đ™˜đ™šđ™šđ™š of theirs

    ‎
    ‎
    ‎

    with that said: i'm telling you guys categorically, grindR is 𝐍𝐎𝐓 restoring the filter

    it has been over two years now

    so..
    ..the best thing we can do at this point, is collectively stop paying grindR for what is largely shit-tier "service" anyway,
    and use a blocker to nuke all the obnoxious adverts those sons of bitches bombard us with, for every little action

    the only thing the c-suites of any 𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚏𝚒𝚝 understand is their loss of income, their own (violent, gruesome) deaths, and their own pain — beyond these, those greedy bastards could not care less if the very world around them burned to the ground

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    the leadership of grindR has made its decision

    they're not restoring a god damnĂšd thing

    at this point, we need to start leaving this forsaken app in droves, and go elsewhere

    grindR is beholden, only, to advertisement revenue — not to the people

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    what could be the cause of this anger, i wonder?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    aww.. ..eventide, you're so cute.
    puffing up yer little chest on here, talking like you're the grindr uservoice forum enforcer.

    i wonder..
    ..based on what qualifications, exactly, do you presume your shitty opinions are worth more than my well-thought out statements?
    .
    .
    .
    though, yeah.
    yeah, you're right, eventide.

    "we" do need a filter.
    a filter to help "us" be rid of absolute, wastes of space, wastes of breath, wastes of life trash like yourself.

    đŸ„°

    [strike]i presume you're white, or someone non-white who fancies trying to align himself with the (problematic) Kolonizing Klan of the world, right?
    indeed.
    and here you are in 2022, arguing with a black man and a latin man about race matters.[/strike]

    and here you are in 2022: a white man arguing with a black man and a latin man about how we're supposed to handle race matters.

    classic.

    i probably shouldn't mention this here but, something else i've learned some time ago about you and your ilk, is whenever you are asked it directly, you never will openly respond with "No I am not prejudiced nor racist against anyone" or "Yes I am racist and prejudiced and proud of it — and these are the fuckers who I detest because of their race."

    of course, i don't expect any better from your ad hominem-ing ass eventide.

    but, ya know?
    go ahead.
    please do share with "us," what is it you know about the subject of prejudice, discrimination, bias, oppression, racism, etc. — which joshua and i don't?

    come.

    is this a direct question you feel up for answering directly, or are you just gonna ad-hominem yourself away from that too?

    =========

    juan?

    are you directing that critique towards steve and eventide (and ES, apparently?)..
    ..or did you direct that critique towards joshua and i?

    for the record, i'm not "forcing" the colour discriminators to find sexual attraction for anyone — i'm only "forcing" them to acknowledge the reasoning behind their prejudice and how, on the whole, discrimination solely because of someone's skin colour, nationality, or bloodline is pretty dumb and senseless

    there is no equating a MSM's espousing a categorical "no indians" or "no blacks" or "no arabs" (and so on) to a MSM's espousing a categorical "no women"

    i know for a fact i was BORN with almost zero natural attraction to the female gender — there was no one in my household grooming me to not desire women, NOR was anyone in my household grooming me to want a hard dick in my mouth

    me lusting for men and not lusting for women is what you very much-can consider a "biological imperative" over which i had no control; NOR had i had this disposition taught me by anyone.

    =========

    what *is* so "different" about me, i wonder?
    why don't i go around saying "no whites" or "no asians" or "no blacks" or "no latinos" (etc.)?

    how is it possible, i find all nationalities / bloodlines equally appealing?

    .....

    on second thought.
    nah.

    never mind all that.
    i know i'm only preaching to the choir, posing that kinda rhetorical.

    eventide / steve, and whoever else: i know you're just gonna come back with further garbage.
    further garbage, that will not address why you NEED to filter out by race.

    so please don't bother.

    be happy you and i both agree you discriminators SHOULD have your race filter restored.

    oh.
    by the way.
    do you have a problem with me calling you "discriminators"?
    but, is that not what you are?
    i can readily tell you i sexually-exclude 99.01 - 99.98% of all transsexual / transgender women — MtFs.
    almost all MtFs, i never shall willingly go to bed with.

    but, you observe how easy that was for me?
    i owned up to an entire group i sexually preclude. (i can even explain for you why i preclude MtFs, if you're curious.).
    there are other attributes people might have —some attributes of which, they have no immediate control over— which would cause me to "automatically" preclude them from my attraction pool; though for the sake of "staying on topic" eventide i won't mention them here.

    😂

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    @Anonymous ( April 28, 2022 14:48 )

    I appreciate your response, in which you were being reasonable and respectful with me.

    Regarding the policing of preferences (a word which, in this context, I'd almost always place within quotation marks) — in spite of my strong words thus far, I'll reĂ€ffirm that I am *quite* 'in favour' of an in-app ethnicity filter, for the racists / prejudiced fellows to employ.

    Let it be known: I *had* been (and am presently) working on another response for the 2 - 3 individuals who, thus far, have seen fit to ad hominem / logical-fallacy me here — in this response, I happen to detail, further, how I believe the restored race filter should work.
    No need to worry.. ..My proposed caveats, at their worst, affect neither the discriminator / discriminatee. If anything, the discriminators should be tickled pink.

    =========

    Addressing this to the general forum / my current set of detractors:

    Years ago, I'd arrived to the conclusion, I live in a world with many humans who just can't be reasoned with. Humans who, functionally, are "lost causes," who are better off disposed of than to be allowed to continue on, wreaking havoc and causing other innocent humans undue misery.

    ‱ If you are a *rump supporter / sympathizer
    ‱ If you believe racism / oppression is not an issue
    ‱ If you're a "pick yourself up by the bootstrap" espouser
    ‱ If you believe in "rules for thee, but not for me,"

    technically, I've already written you off.
    I know I won't be changing your mind, much in the same way you may be assured you will never change my mind.

    And supposing you did, somehow, manage that, I'd be a fool to believe you'd embrace me unconditionally: because, long before I came out swinging on this forum, you already decided you didn't "like my kind." Because of my skin.

    I'm still amazed you don't come out and say "I don't like the black race." Fucked up as that is, I wouldn't advocate for your being banned / banished off here for making that kind of declaration, of itself.
    It's when you start bringing in the extra shit that I have the problem.

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    @ ES
    I refuse to believe "every single black person" (in your area) seek only trans. I feel like there probably were black men who've previously expressed interest in you but you turned them down for not being your type (which is fine, that's your right to not be attracted to everyone).
    I might've been more likely to had lent credence to your lament if you had stated instead "every single black man WHO IS MY TYPE seem to only want chicks with dicks."

    Never-the-less...
    ...I agree with you, 100%, GrindR should (if for no one else) be allowing unlimited members the capability to filter by ethnicity and by gender expression.

    If I were paying GrindR for "premium" service, I know I would want to option to unclog my grid of those individuals whom I never will be attracted to—I am turned on by male / masculine features, which can include the transmen who completely commit to being men—and from those who never will be attracted to me, as I am not a girly boy.

    The self-loathing, scared boys who are too afraid to face off with *real* men.

    The unfortunate guys who probably could have benefitted from some real, serious counseling / intervention — I know *some* people were born in the wrong bodies.. ..But *this* many males with "gender dysphoria"? (Pretty troubling, indeed..)
    Moreover, I can just look at their pictures and tell they're dealing with mental health issues, even serious mental dysfunction. These dudes made their little "switch," emulating what they think it means to be a woman, and they're still not happy. (If anything, their problems are now multiplied.)

    On the other hand.. ..Nothing about GrindR strikes me as being worth $40 a month. Basic functionalities which Scruff has, GrindR wants to charge us for.

    At any rate, I hope you are not under the impression every black man is "like that."
    We are not.

    @ Cody Padgett
    It is true you didn't come right *out* with saying 'The "N" Word' (the "N" word with the hard "-er"), but you might as well have.
    Because, with all those words in your comment down there, and you chose to only abbreviate "people" — in reference to us black people.

    Yep.

    You conscientiously-chose to reduce us to just "ppl" because, in your eyes, we're not even worthy of the consideration of the full word "people."

    "Ethnicity" and "Majority" and "Actually" require more effort to spell out than "people," so I don't want to hear any bullshit from you about "I was just saving time" or "I didn't mean it that way."

    You managed to cram in so many micro-aggressions against African-Americans, within the span of those fifteen words... ...You should just come out and say you don't like black PEOPLE.

    First of all, I am a black man, and I am in support of restoring the ethnicity filter.
    (So on that basis alone, automatically, your assertion of "It's only the black ppl" is factually inaccurate.)

    I am a black man, and I don't arbitrarily restrict my attraction to ANYONE based solely on their skin colour or perceived ethnicity — so I have no need (nor desire) for that sort of "filter" myself.

    I am a black man, and I want the ethnicity filter restored.. ..Though, on the condition, all those individuals who find my black skin problematic / repulsive, reciprocally-are filtered out of MY grid, so I don't have to see THEM.
    i don't have a need to see prejudiced, racist bigots — and good riddance.

    second of all, it's not the ethnicity filter "black ppl" have the beef with — our beef is with the racist, bigoted prejudiced assholes who see no problems with their behaviour.

    i'd love to know what you think about the indian, latin, thai, white, philipino, cantonese, arab men who willing buried their faces in my crotch — who all made it exceedingly clear, to me, they wanted to be bred with my black seed.
    black seed, explicitly, from MY black dick.

    you reckon something is wrong with them, because of this desire? are you thinking, "how can they want to lay with a lowly n--ger like that? don't they have any higher standards for themselves?!"?

    you can't conceive such a desire is possible?

    you can't conceive it possible, people being attracted to others 'in spite of,' 'because of,' OR 'regardless of' colour?

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    yeah, honestly?

    removing the ethnicity filter was nothing but an empty, performative platitude grindr enacted to quiet down some squeaky wheels

    nothing meaningful was accomplished by doing this

    i also would not be shocked if grindr didn't view this "politically correct" move as nothing but an opportunity for a potential money grab, one that makes it more annoying for folks to find what they want (or exclude what they believe they don't want)

    we all know the racists, the close-minded, and the bigots are going to stay racist, bigoted, close-minded, and/or prejudiced — nothing has changed just because their ability to directly sort according to their biases, however short-sighted, has been taken away by the platform they happen to be on

    i'm of the opinion: good riddance

    i don't want colour-excluding assholes clogging up *my* grid — irregarding whatever reason the asshole excludes by colour

    so, grindr?
    bring it back
    go ahead and bring that ethnicity filter back

    find yourself another battle to fight
    fight *this* battle in another way
    unless, of course, you actually don't care about the marginalized/ostracized — only the dollars that you would lose if that function of your app is restored (for free)...
    ...which, from what i've observed, actually is a "modus operandi" that is well within 'brand' for your company

    P.S. — i'm a black man who does NOT engage in making categorical ethnicity-based exclusions
    i'm also a black man who recognizes EVERYONE can be a remarkably-foul piece of shit, irrespective the colouring of their skin

    that said, i will leave off with these two points here:

    1.) colour exclusionists? ask yourself WHY you exclude all members of a given ethnicity

    2.) we've been fighting this war for centuries now, and might well continue fighting it for centuries more

    i do have one fun factoid/reminder: back during the time of sanctioned black enslavement, some white enslavers DID, very much, have no problems seeking us out for their sexual gratification
    they evidently weren't repulsed by the idea of becoming intimately-acquainted with our ebony black flesh, eh?

    actually, now that i think about about...
    ...this is also true of the colonizers from western europe — the "latin" ones who invaded / pillaged the indigenous of south and north america for many generations

    is it not?

    those white parasites couldn't help themselves from schtupping all those golden brown natives (natives who, originally, were-all minding their own business...not even aware of the impending White Doom) either

    those colonizers didn't turn *their* noses up at the idea of commingling with "lesser" coloured people, now did they?

  6. 1,996 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    no

    grindR doesn't listen to any of these comments

    that's why i advocate for boycotting the service — if it's through, not subscribing, or through ad blockers

    An error occurred while saving the comment

    i think grindr (and scruff, for that matter — an app which i *just* left a 2-star review for, earlier this morning; stating, scruff really was not much better than grindr in terms of its paywalling) would pull a lot more money from us customers if they offered full features for $5 (or even $7.50) USD a month

    heck
    i'd even consider paying for a yearly, full-access membership at $55 USD — wouldn't you?

    it'd surely be better than that $479.88 / year shite they're trying to pull

    of course, short-sighted gains, over long-term viability, tends to trump all, in capitalists' minds

  7. 1,463 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    crover, i know this won't be very helpful but, i do want to tell ya, i feel it is genuinely disheartening, you have to go through this every day

    have you ever had any luck matching up with anyone?

  8. 158 votes

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  9. 170 votes

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  10. 1,189 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    dang..

    ..so many of you don't even know grindR's management has a snowball's chance in hell of ever doing anything to meaningfully address this problem

    case in point?

    when was the last time you ever observed anyone, claiming to be from the grindR team, dropping by to correspond with any of us — much less, to inform us of cogent measures being taken to fix the issues?

  11. 192 votes

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  12. 3,644 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    you'd think, this should be an easy feature to implement

    yet here we are, over 4 years later, with grindr's fingers in its ears, pretending it doesn't hear our voice
    (as usual)

    even if grindr were to allow for the dis-interested to dis-able taps, grindr would just paywall this within 2 downdates anyways

  13. Have a way to filter out bots solicitation and scams

    24,684 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    heh

    you guys don't realize?

    grindr is the one sponsoring the spambots

    obviously this is so

    unless grindr means to suggest, thousands upon thousands of different accounts have as easy a time registering, as we do?

    at any rate, don't even bother with blocking / reporting the bots — it's a waste of time

  14. 173 votes

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  15. 1,232 votes

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  16. 992 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    while i do support the general proposal, i advise that we need to be careful with the implementation of this sort of feature: while some of us can be trusted to be largely unbiased with our assessments.. ..some of us cannot be trusted

    i dunno about you but.. ..i don't want my reputation getting tarnished by some impatient, geeked out meth‱head who was impatient and who couldn't fathom the idea someone wouldn't be into his shit

    and some of you guys are just way too pushy
    you're way too pushy / entitled, thinking everyone who's on the app is ready to give in to your demands immediately

    also, there is an "honour system" happening here: others are taking your word, you're speaking the truth
    the truth about whether the person is, or is not, what they represented themselves to be
    the truth about whether they didn't, or did, flake

    there will need to be an opportunity for a negatively-reviewed person to defend themselves
    there needs to be consequences doled, to any person who intentionally bears false witness against another
    which means, yes: grindR admins (who already have a largely-notorious reputation, themselves) will need to take on the role of Arbitrators, also.

    how well do you reckon *that* is gonna go?

    and how long before grindR paywalls *that* function?

  17. 1,595 votes

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  18. 2,310 votes

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    An error occurred while saving the comment

    so, when was this thread originally started?

    back in...
    ...april 8th, 2020?

    (ÂŽseems about right)

    and it's been how long now?

    over two years, soon to be approaching three — yeah?

    soon to be three years; and most of us veterans have seen how grindR's elected to handle the situation: with the classic "no response IS a response" tactic

    it's no longer a secret, grindR has been going down the shitter—speaking, in general—for years now; apparently this company is *not* chinese-owned any longer.
    allegedly, operations are back in america.
    but.. ..one of the new "investors" is someone who "has ties" with the previous china-based owners?

    is this why we're going to be forced to suffer through this untenable mess?

    is this why our only, viable solution here, is to band together to boycott grindR?
    since, obviously, they're only valuing profit over people — banking on / taking advantage of a majority of users who aren't even aware (or, who simply don't care) there is an issue?

    LR was very respectful in their approach when presenting this idea for grindR's consideration; but we see this has afforded us no forward progress in establishing the sort of boundaries we cis-men who seek other cis-men need...
    ...nor, for the Safe Space transwomen / transsexuals (and their admirers) could truly benefit from

    speaking for me: it *is* bad enough, my feeling compelled to "accept" the presence of femboys / androgynous fellows, though i'm not attracted to them either..

    ..i wonder how transgendered women and the "straight" men would feel, if those sorts were to flock to their space?

    i'd imagine, they'd be more welcomed there?

    no?

    =====

    what do we do about "dedicated" transmen? i don't want to exclude them from the main grindR grid.
    (have you seen some of those dudes? đŸ„”đŸ„”đŸ„”)
    how do we ensure we're careful not to take this separation too, too far?

  19. 2,675 votes

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  20. 561 votes

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