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989 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment An error occurred while saving the comment @wealthy drIp gaming,
i think i get the gist of what you're saying, but i fear i cannot go along with what appears to be your underlying sentiment, of "what i do in my private time is my own business"
i'm also taking note of the way you framed one of your positions โ your highlighting of only the "successful" users, without any apparent acknowledgement of everyone else ๐ฅ๐ง๐ค๐๐๐จ๐จ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก / ๐๐๐ง๐๐๐ง ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐๐๐, who aren't so lucky
it is my view, typically there are two inevitable outcomes for those who get themselves embroiled with controlled substances:
โข you end up in jail, for a reason ๐๐๐๐๐ than simple possession or, even, distribution
โข you die, in some undignified manner: slowly; or through traumatic incident; or, by overdosethose who can "control" themselves seem to be in the minority
โ
โ
โ
you're being disingenuous if you're going to assert that everything is only ๐๐ฎ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ & ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ฌ, with drugs(ask the citizens of mexico, brazil, afghanistan and colombia what they think about the matter)
โ
โ
โspeaking for myself, i'm not a nihilistโ
โit is very much my belief, no man is an island unto himselfhttps://cdllife.com/2021/video-drunk-wrong-way-driver-causes-serious-destruction/
i, personally, haven't been directly affected by an impaired driver, and i was shaking and feeling distraught, watching the crashโ
โimagining the trauma to amberly's soul: her being very much alive and conscious one second, with her then being unceremoniously-๐ด๐ฏ๐ถ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต the nextโ
โ
โ
i was going to mention a certain array of other folks (who are no longer with us), to further highlight my point regarding the fallacy of your pointing towards the minority of "successful" users, as the means of justifying a lax attitude towards substance abuse;
what i'll do instead, is i'll ask you to tell me of some professional, career-minded, successful, (hard) drug-using people ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช personally know, in 2023 (july, the 9th), who are also well-adjustedโ
โpeople you ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐-are assured of, who are in no imminent danger of suffering a crisis, as elvis, or anne heche, or jarad higgins, or amy winehouse, or janis joplin hadโ
โ
โ?
can you?
people ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช knowโ
โpeople you can supply first-hand testimony for, regarding their over-indulgence in meth, alcohol, fentanyl, coke, heroin... ...or perkies, codeine, xanax, ghb, 3mmc, or whatever other foolishness is out there=====
there is a counter-saying i am quite fond of, regarding certain folks' perceived liberty to conduct their "personal lives" ๊ฑแดษด๊ฑ แดแดแดสษชสแดแดส แด 'ษชแดแดแดสแดแดษดแดแด ร โ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ
it has been demonstrated, with a fair amount of consistency, most people can't keep their habits to themselves
from the methโขhead who breaks into cars, and allows multitudes of hiv-positive people to rawdog him, for days at a time,
to the drunkard who gets on the highway and eventually blindsides an innocent family,
to the coke fiend who goes to work and abuses everyone under them,
to the her'on hero who enjoys nothing more than walking out in the middle of traffic to perform their precarious balancing act,i see no reason for you to pretend all is well with them
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BUT.
with all that said: i would much rather, drug users are allowed to be open with the rest of us, on the appsโ
โto allow us the chance to block them, at our discretionyep
"stigmatization"
but, i have the right, not to associate with people whose futures are precarious, and whose activities are dubiousโ
โdo i not?and, be damnรจd the ones who insist on being dishonest: even when they no longer have to worry about being banned, or about being reported to the police (for simple possession / use)
โ
โ
โyou surely must know, some (ab)users ๐๐๐๐๐ lie / obscure the truth anyway, in order to get what they want
that's human nature, i hear
An error occurred while saving the comment i hate..
..well, what i hate, is when one's recreational / "coping" activities end up hurting themselves and/or others(drugs, of themselves, are not really the issue)
the fact is: if some people want to indulge, even to the point of destructiveness, people are
(you gotta remember, even "good" things can be abused / detrimental, when consumed excessively)
i bet some of you would be surprised to know, for example, "junkies" are not at all a new phenomenon, popping up in the 1980s, or 1970s, or even the 1960s
verily โ heroine, opiates, cocaine, even meth, *were* indeed commercially retailed to the general public for general consumption, in the 1800s, up through.. ..the 1950s
full stop
these drugs eventually were available on shelves, for any and all, without any especial regulation
"laudanum"
i imagine some children partook, considering most people simply could not have known better
innocent babes, thusly, to become eventual, unwitting "junkies"
(how many mothers pre-damaged their children in the womb, from filling their bodies with dangerous substances which were marketed as Salubrious?)in the 1800s
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look
if you want to be done with the drug problem..
..eliminating drugs isn't the solution
unfortunatelyno
you'll need to curb the natural, (in)human affinity for getting high(the innate affinity for attaining and sustaining that dope-amine rushโ
โno matter the consequences)
well?
how do you propose making that happen?
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as for grindR's role in all this?
basically: grindR simply is the ghetto of hookup apps
and i make this deliberation as a black man who was raised in (and fairly-bruised by) the ghetto;
while there are some good souls here and there..
..there are also many, many bad apples to be found throughoutin case you weren't aware, you cannot reasonably expect that much from said Damaged Goods โ you can't, regardless of who did the damaging, or how the damage was incurred
look
if people don't peddle / solicit their coke or their meth on the platform directly, they'll either use code language, or code pictures (snow, clouds, ice cubes, etc.), or they'll simply conduct their transactions off-line, to get the job done
people's creativity, for doing things they should not be, is nigh-unlimited
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people *are* going to get high, irrespective of what you or i might feel about their potential recklessness..
..perhaps, we really should begin to focus on harm reduction, and the decriminalization of simple recreational use, so long as the user can uphold their end of the bargain, to remain productive members of society, who cause no harm to the collective with their [habit]an even better idea might be, formulating drugs which can provide the high of the most potent meth, with the side effects of the most normal medium-roast coffee (2 cups)
ยดlike, i dunno..
..pertaining to the drugs themselves: aren't the /real/ Real Issues with these, the addiction to the dope-amine hit the brain develops.. ..and the withdrawal which the body goes through when the brain doesn't get its "baba" in time? -
Grinder needs to make profile face pics mandatory to have a profile
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627 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment that's all fine and good, annon
truly
as long as you stick to only chatting up other picless people, be assured that none of this applies to you
โ
โ
โ
the actual issue stems from anonymous folks going around demanding in-person-meets from those of us who do take on the risk of showing ourselves to the rest of the world โ and then give us shit (or / and play games) when we ask to see what you look like, as you are able to see us(are we 'patsies' too?)
โ
โ
โ
โ
โhey
if someone wants to gaybash you, they'll find a wayโ
โtrust me on thatalso, you can never really know when someone is out there targeting you 'anonymous' folks
you never know if you're being recorded, specifically so you can be outed later
you may fancy yourselves แดสแด๊ฐแดส or ๐จ๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ; but there's always someone bigger and badder than you are
Trust.
An error occurred while saving the comment the compromise to this suggestion is Verified Profiles
like scruff already hasthis wouldn't affect the "i need my discretion" folk (we can still shun them like we always had been)..
..but this would allow us to give a justified side eye to whoever elects to remain unverifiedone caveat: grindR MUST make this nudge to verify identity, both, highly visible and persistent until / unless a user accepts or rejects the proposal; and, grindR must make it difficult to accidentally dismiss the prompt
basically, all the common sense shit that we know grindR runs contrary against in its day to day operations
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1,108 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment me
from june 17, 2023:
โ
โ
โi ๐๐๐๐๐ consider paying grindr 75ยข a month for unlimited blocks
i might
but...
...with this 75ยข / month, i reserve the right to have any reports i make to the admins, about anyone who's blatantly ๐ฏ๐น๐ผ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด, given more weight and priority
(considering, i'm actively paying them for a service)โ
โ
โthis "alternative" method of dealing with ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ด is probably easier, more viable, and likely more profitable, to implement, than filtering:
filtering, which we know cannot be 100 (or, even, 80) perโขcent effective on any platformโ
(but, grindr {๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ข๐ ๐ค๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ก๐ก / ๐๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐ฟ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ช๐ง๐๐๐} in particular)
โgiven the games which too many people playยดtalking about the people who, either, intentionally mis-categorize themselves;
or those who fail to categorize themselves at all, in order to make some "statement" against the ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
(the "paradigm" which 88% of the rest of world deals with just fine)An error occurred while saving the comment - i wish more "women"ยน were reasonable and respectful like you isa
- that was a proclamation i, myself, made years ago, regarding the (mentally dysfunctional) phobies: how, to them, functionally, we're all the same
"fags"
and are all worthy of disdain and, in some (or all) cases, death
no matter what letter of the alphabet we happen to be
- i just want to make it abundantly clear, that for as much as i gripe and bitch about "the situation" on grindR,
i would ๐ ฝ๐ ด๐ ๐ ด๐ take this same fight to any other platform (or venue) which made it clear from the beginning,
their intent is to serve ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ in the LGBTQ(+) familyof course, with that said..
..i do reserve my right, to exclude ๐ข๐ฎ๐จ๐๐ก๐ from these other groupings, if i feel it's not right for me(which, i do, already
i exclude myself, and i stay well-clear of their business)
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i can't do anything about the phobes who will harangue you here (in uservoice), or on grindR, or ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐; the best i can advise ya, is to exercise any สแดแด๊ฑแดษดแดสสแด corrective measure available to you
โ
โand, to reรฏterate my statement from the 7th of last month:
``
in the absence of effective Filtering, and unlimited, noโขstringsโขattached Blockingโ
โin the meantime, all i can ask of you "ladies" is, when you browse someone's profile, if he doesn't give any explicit indication he's looking for "women," please don't solicit him for sexual engagementdo not, on what originally was marketed as a cis man-for-cis man app, go on to harass a person when he rejects or blocks (or ignores) you
considering that, from what i've observed over these years, whenever a queerโ does desire a "woman," he'll make it crystal clear for you, so there's no confusion or room for doubt on the matter
ยดยดโ
โโ
โ
โ
โ
โยน forgive me โ woman-in-quotes is just my umbrella,
to signify every male whose gender dysphoria / difference / divergence,
expresses as (๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ข๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ) ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ๐ง๐ฒ / ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒโ
โ
โ(i suppose i am forced to concede, inclusivity ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ work, ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐ข๐๐จ!
๐)
โ
โโ i "reclaim" ๐๐๐ ด๐ ด๐, as my term for describing the men who intentionally eschew relations with other cis-masc menโ
(typically, due to an unfortunate case of homophobia / self-loathing)
โin specific preference for "women" (but, strangely, not *actual* women)
An error occurred while saving the comment indeed, wolfโ
โindeed, it is as you say
An error occurred while saving the comment yeah
honestly
grindr is like the แดสแดษชแดแดแดแด catfish
assuming the c-suites leave things as they are: i hope i live to see the day that grindr's app store rating finally reaches 1 star
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not everything needs to be "inclusive"
๐จ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฉ๐๐ข๐๐จ, "inclusivity" can hurt those it was touted as favouring, ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐
us gay and bi men "erect borders" amongst ourselves every single day โ it's called, ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ
often, there is no malicious or bigoted intent behind the evaluation:
we're just not turned on by what's being presented to us;
or, we acknowledge in advance, a connection simply isn't feasible (or advisable)โ
โ
โthis same line of reasoning extends to "women," แดกแดแดแดษด, and queers โ nothing personal to them
(i wonder how often it happens?
someone, we would've been all over, back when he was a man...
...but with his dysphoria having completely changed his outlook, we can no longer entertain the thought of having sex with her
:-)
i'm sure, this is the sentiment a lot of women feel, whenever ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฎ find out that hunky man they had their eye on, can't do anything with them
{that Hunky Man, with not an ounce of obvious ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ or ๐ ผ๐ ด๐๐๐ พ๐๐ ด๐๐๐ ฐ๐ ป in his bones})
An error occurred while saving the comment what app should i go to?
An error occurred while saving the comment yeah
yeah, you would say that
wouldn't you damien?then, in that case: what grindR should do, to accommodate your imperative, is completely open up the app
grindR should completely open itself, and then aggressively make it known to the world it's now a ๐ช๐๐-๐ฎ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐๐ for any and all to join
like tindR or bumbL
โ
โ
โ
you're biโข / panโขsexual โ right, damien?well?
let's not stop at bringing in "women"...
...๐๐๐๐๐๐ women need to join the fiesta too!why not?
๐๐๐๐๐ช๐จ๐, ๐๐จ ๐๐ฉ ๐๐ช๐ง๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐ก๐ฎ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐๐จ, ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐ง๐จ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐, ๐ค๐ฃ๐ก๐ฎ, ๐ ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐ข๐ค๐๐ง๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ โ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ก๐๐๐ฃ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ฎ ๐๐๐จ-๐ฌ๐ค๐ข๐๐ฃ (๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ค๐จ๐๐ญ๐ช๐๐ก ๐ข๐๐ฃ) ๐๐ค๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ง ๐ฅ๐ง๐๐จ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฃ, ๐๐๐ง๐
โ
โ
โoh.
wait. . . . .An error occurred while saving the comment @james:
when some of the "women" started creating multiple accounts, to evade my blocks and resume propositioning me, even when i already told them (in no uncertain terms) i wasn't interested;
and when the queers begun perpetuating their weird-ass homophobia ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐๐ค๐ข๐ค๐จ, my ability to be lenient and grant ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ was taken off the table===
86ing "women" (and queers) might be a viable, one-and-done solution, when you live someplace where there aren't many "women"โand queer "๐๐ค๐ข๐๐ฃ" ๐พ๐๐๐จ๐๐ง๐จโto deal with; i imagine, for the cockbreaths of ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ด, or new york, or some other "progressive" region, it's not at all that simple
(i suppose, us cis-gays don't really merit an empathic consideration, though โ right?)===
of course it's an even harder life, as a "woman"*
the kind of "woman" who feels the compulsion to draw ๐๐ ท๐ ด ๐ ด๐๐ ด๐ ๐ พ๐ ต ๐๐ ท๐ ด ๐ ฟ๐๐ ฑ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ to herself, over and beyond what could be viewed as ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ as many mentally-dysfunctional / emotionally-disturbed / mentally-ill people are subject toi'm just gonna put it out there: those folks are in need of psychological help*
some sort or form of intervention, to cure them of their gender dysphoria;
some form or sort of treatment, to cure them of the other mental problems they've got going(i'm not talking about the guys who are naturally a little femme โ not the guys, whose effeminate mannerisms aren't put on for attention-seeking)
โ
being gay or bi is not even in the same league โ as we may recall, homosexuality is readily (and regularly) observed in the animal kingdom..
..can the same be said for transgenderism?and supposing there are animals out there, suffering from an identity crisis..
..what do you reckon happens with them, out in nature?
โโ
โ
โ
* (as i can imagine, it's not terribly easy being a self-loathing queer)* of course:
i wouldn't be opposed to the basherphobes, themselves, getting forcefully lobotomizedAn error occurred while saving the comment what saddens me is, i know all of this fussing and insult slinging, ultimately, is futile
nothing meaningful is going to happen
not with this approach
george arison and his little c-suite flunkies won't take notice of our plight unless / until their profit is affected
so, in that regard.. ..for all the "women" (and queers) out there, you have no real reason to worry โ you "women" are not going anywhere, any time soon
โ
โ
โin the meantime, all i can ask of you "ladies" is, when you browse someone's profile, if it doesn't give any explicit indication they're looking for "women," please don't engage with them
do not harass a person, on what is supposed to be a cis man-for-cis man app, when he rejects or blocks you
from what i've observed, whenever a queer wants a "woman," he'll make it crystal clear, so there's no confusion
An error occurred while saving the comment well, justen โ these ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐, ๐ก๐จ๐ซ๐ง๐ฒ, ๐ข๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐๐ฅ๐ โ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญโ ๐๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ are of no use for men like me
they make it abundantly-clear, they want ๐๐๐-๐๐๐
(though, if they feel that strongly...
...if they feel ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ช๐ง๐ about being sexual with another man. . . . .
. . . . .why don't they try connecting with actual women?{maybe they're mentally dysfunctional too.})
โข and, sorry-not-sorry, but i'm not keen on re-defining what it means to be "gay," "bi-sexual," or "heterosexual"
it's real simple to me: once you knowingly (and repeatedly) seek out a แดแดษดษช๊ฑ & สแดสส๊ฑ-สแดแดสแดส, even if all you ever do is use the แดแดษดษช๊ฑ & สแดสส๊ฑ-สแดแดสแดส like a fleshlight by only fucking him in his butt, you can't call yourselfใstraightใanymore
and there is no shame in being bi-sexual, or even gay
โข i don't know how to categorize this contingent, who are unable to deal with cis-women, but are too loathe to bump nasties with other masculine cis-men...
...maybe ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฎ are worthy of the title ๐๐๐ ด๐ ด๐?โข i believe that if you were to poll all gay and bi guys, a majority (if not *the* majority) of us would gladly report, we could give two shits about "straight" men
because (in my opinion) for us, it's not a man's heterosexuality (or, the idea of being his "exception") we're attracted to โ it's his ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ which calls to our spirits
even with me: a few of my recent connections have, upon meeting me in person, inquired-in-seriousness whether i had a girl, or any kids
perhaps, rather surprised someone with my level of masculinity happens to be an unapologetic gold-star homo
(and i told them, "no, i don't have a woman, or any kits; but i can impregnate ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ if you want me to. ๐.")
โข sure
a scant minority of fetishists wanna be the one to "turn" a straight man
yet another delusion, however:
since 99.99% of straights can't be turned, anymore than 99.99% of us homos can be converted from our cock-munching wayswhen it comes to sexuality, you can't grow a tree whose seed wasn't already embedded in the bearer's soil
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adi?
i want to pose to you the same two questions i had to kris over in "lets make grindr gay again"โ
โwho are you attracted to?
who aren't you attracted to?
kris never answered this
maybe you willmaybe you will answer these honestly
โข also, i want to express my opinion that it's..
..fairly hypocritical, to be fine with the queer chaps declaring ๐๐๐ ฐ๐ ฝ๐ ๐ พ๐ ฝ๐ ป๐ but getting up in arms about us gay men espousing ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐โข i do hope you've taken note, over the years, who's been most active in this on-going beef..
..and who's largely been quietyep
us self-proclaimed gay (masc) cis-men versus you of the gender-divergent / -dysphoric tribewhereรคsโ
i'd bet another million
โif i were to go back and review the tapes, i could count on one hand the number of queers who've ever hopped on to uservoice to chime in their pro-Total Inclusivity stanceโข think about it though, adiโ
โqueer men are an even smaller minority than the gender-divergentwith their on-going andro/homophobia,
it would be significantly-more logical for them to call for separation,
so they could find more "women" to play with(but..
..how would the queers feel about sharing their space with other queers, when it's only "women" they're seeking?)as encapsulated by the very same line i opened up with, in responding to justen: us hairy, masculine, beard-bearing, manly-bodied fellas are of no use to the "breeders"
we will make their dicks limp, because they ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐บ-cannot pretend in their dysfunctional minds they're not doing some ๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐
not when they're being confronted with a big beefy chest, and a cock that's looking right back at them
โข so, again:
what about the consideration of ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ wants and needs?โ
โand, why do you insist on conflating our call for separationโ
(be it through directing you to patronize any of the other apps for gender-divergents / queers which are available, or through crowd-sourcing your own app if you're not 'feeling' what's currently available; or, be it through compelling grindr to enforce strict gender filtering
{on the last point, be assured grindr management isn't ever gonna do that})
โwith segregation, or with wanting to "erase" you-all from existence?
โ
โthat's not what we're doing
that's not the argument being made
that's not what any of this is aboutAn error occurred while saving the comment however, for the umpteenth time: you can't force us to be attracted to you
(what?
do you secretly fantasize about "turning" a gay man?
i mean...
...what's the difference between a masculine gay man and a masculine queer man?remember, kids: you'll ๐ฃ๐๐ซ๐๐ง find a สแดษดแด ๊ฐษชแด แด สแดแดแดสแด๊ฑแดxแดแดส on grindrโ
โnot a heterosexual, seeking sexy times with any man or "woman")it's not a political statement
it's not a "right-wing agenda"
it's not transphobiaif we're going to be attracted to not-men, then we cocksuckers might as well go ๐๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐จ๐ by taking up bi-sexuality, at a minimum
ยดfucking สแดแดส womenโ
โunabashedlywith none of this "queer" or "hetero-flexible," ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ / ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ง๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ shit
=====
a gay man is ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ going to fuck a "woman"
โany gay man who does fuck a "woman" (but, can't bring himself to mating with an ๐๐๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ก cis-woman) is not gay but, rather, ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐๐ซ
(i hesitate to label him ๐ฃ๐ช)โyet, you categorically-demand to have, what's basically the equivalent of attempting to force a star-shaped peg through an octagonal opening
i'm going to remind y'all again: grindr was originally intended for gay men
i'm sorry that the conservatives took away your craigslist in 2017..
..maybe you should be fighting them, and not us?be sure to enlist the aid of your queer allies, since they love you so much
An error occurred while saving the comment (uservoice, and its damned character limit...)
โ
โ
โ
๐ผ๐ท๐ฒ๐นAn error occurred while saving the comment there's only one moderator, for the entirety of the app?
An error occurred while saving the comment i *might* consider paying grindr 75ยข a month for unlimited blocks
but.....with this 75ยข/month, i reserve the right to have any reports i make to the admins, about anyone who's blatantly ๐ฏ๐น๐ผ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฒ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด, given more weight
this "alternative" method of dealing with ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ฏ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ด is probably easier, more viable, and likely more profitable, to implement, than filteringโ
โfiltering, which we know cannot be 100 (or, even 80) perโขcent effective on any platform, given the games which many people playยดtalking about the people who, either, intentionally mis-categorize themselves;
or those who fail to categorize themselves at all, in order to make some "statement" against the ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ (that 90 - 98% of the rest of world deals with just fine)An error occurred while saving the comment that's a head scratcher...
...the first half of my commentary (from the 11th) mysteriously was strickenshenanigans?
i restored my post again, back to how i intended it; maybe it'll stay put this time?
=====
โข thank you zeb!
this whole "deal" is very emotionally-charged for me as well
regardless..
..Emotion cannot always be allowed to trump ๐๐๐๐๐ and ๐ณ๐๐๐๐: otherwise, we're no better than temper tantrum-throwing toddlersโข thank you tom childress!
๐
(you're gonna make me blush!)
=====
ya know?
though fairly draining, on both my emotions and my time,
it's likely "for the best" that i ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ been down here in the trenches......eventually reaching the point where i am almost all "argued out"
โข amber?
when you get a minute (after you handle your 60 waiting messages, of course), you should read through the first two or three pages of this thread โ use a translator if you're not fluent in english(i'm not fluent in spanish or portuguese, myself)
you may come to grasp the futility of mixing tribes
though, i am curious โ do you insert yourself in heterosexual dating apps?
(i don't)
An error occurred while saving the comment i see, i see.
alright then.
cool.
"go off," queen.
1.) i want to make a disclaimer:
my (hopeful) belief, not all Gender Divergents comport themselves as lylli, josie, or the others who came before them (and shall arrive after them) in uservoice, do
1a.) i might even go so far as to theorize, GDs like josie and lylli are in the absolute แดษชษดแดสษชแดส โ in spite of their brash, fairly-frequent, and loud vocality
of course, i have no way of verifying whether this is true; may my optimism not be misplaced, though...
2.) from what i've been observing, over these last few years,
โข ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐,
โข ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข,
โข ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐๐,
โข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐surely must be a few of the common ๐ท๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐-๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ for sufferers of gender dysphoria
(the male victims, especially)3.) josie?
can you explain for me how you arrived at the conclusion we cis/masc-MSMs, en masse, secretly, want to feminize ourselves (but prefer giving ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง tribe grief about your mental disorder, instead)?
while you're at it: explain for me, what you believe stops us from pursuing that path, if self-feminization was our real End Game?
3a.) or is it, rather?
That is a belief you hold, in order to make yourself feel better?
not alone?4.) indeed:
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/trans-adults-united-states/
https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/transgender-population-by-state
4a.) this is the distribution of humanity, from most common to least common, on planet earth:
๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐น โ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ
๐ฏ๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐น
(๐ฏ๐ถ-๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ผ๐๐)
๐น๐ฒ๐๐ฏ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ป / ๐ด๐ฎ๐ โ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ
"๐พ๐๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฟ"
๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ด๐ฒ๐ป๐*
๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐น (not due to a traumatic event)
๐๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฑ
etc.* (an umbrella term which includes those who are "dedicated" transsexuals, Draggers, transvestites, and crossdressers โ in addition to the usual Transgendered;
but, does ๐๐๐ necessarily include the men who conscientiously wear "female intimates," or the women who conscientiously wear "male intimates"๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ / ๐๐๐๐๐๐, i.e.)
4b.) as far as The Transgendered, specifically?
going under the assumption,
the 2022 percentage given for your numbers
โ(0.3% - 0.7%)โ
due to Societal Factors,
is significantly shorted,
neverโขtheโขless โโโโโ dictates this mental disorder (๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ค๐ง๐๐) still cannot afflict more than 2% of all humanshm?
you say, there's many more of you in the wings, than the "2%" i'm projecting?you wanna bump that estimate up to 5%?
sure
5% of 8 billion is 400,000,000
you aim to tell me, there are as many transwomen on earth, as there are people in the divided states?
or, is it?โ
โyou wish to assert, there are 400,000,000 transwomen right now in the D.S.A.?200,000,000?
100,000,000?
50,000,000?
25,000,000?(oh!
ladies!
don't forget about transmen!
as you tend to do!)you wish to contend, transwomen significantly outnumber cis-gays, jo?
4b.) https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/transgender-no-longer-considered-mental-disorder/
the world health organization's decision to pander to 0.3% of the total, global, population,
as opposed to figuring out a way to decisively (but humanely!) address that psychological dysfunction,
was a capital mistakeAn error occurred while saving the comment 5.) what was my point in bringing up percentages?
i could ask the same thing of josie, for claiming we gays are envious of transwomen, to the extent we want to ๐๐ trans
no.
thank you.
i'm not interested in the heightened chances for
โข depression,
โข homicide,
โข constant public ridicule
(this applies, mainly, for the "in your face" / fetishist transfolk who wear their own mental dysfunction{s} like badges of honour โ not the transfolk who go about their day quietly; not bothering anybody; not being loud, obnoxious, and objectively weird),
โข suicide,
โข random assaults,
โข or the additional lack of "mainstream" social acceptance;
nor am i interested in relinquishing my own Masculinity,
or desire being fetishized more than i already am5a.) i feel quite fine & dandy, presently, as the ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐๐๐๐ธ๐๐๐ i am
(and, i reckon: many, ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ฒ more men ๐๐๐ transwomen would appreciate my staying ๐๐๐๐๐ช, than to feminize m'self in any way
{i'm willing to wager, this includes you ๐๐๐ lylli})
6.) in case you were wondering โ i'm aware, no one is 100% masculine or 100% feminine
(not by any measure of any tribe's cultural interpretation of Gender Role)i'm not advocating for what,
as far as i can tell,
is a ๐ง๐๐จ๐ค๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ฃ๐ Implausibilitynah.
however...
...there's a tangible difference between a naturally effeminate-acting guy
โeven a naturally "pretty" dudeโ
and a chap whose own brain nags at him, "you're not male: you're female" so he makes himself so6a.) not all pretty boys are also effeminate
just as, not all effeminate chaps are pretty
ยดfigure i'd specify this, for those wondering7.) if only Common Sense was more common
indeed: society wouldn't be on the verge of collapse ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฌ if there wasn't such a wide-spread aversion to Logic & Reasoningโ
โas, what's been on display here
7a.) it would be to your supreme benefit, to get your heads out of your own bussies
our gripeโ
(which is, wanting a grid that's more in line with our needs and wants)
โhas nothing to do with your being female-presenting menandrophobes are equally as useless to us
7b.) you're not willing to compromise?
nor are we
why should we?
8.) josie โ in your attempt at being "edgy" (or whatever it was) you neglected recognizing another key aspect of the situation:
not everyone's sexuality is like yours
8a.) where does it end?
since, it's your belief, we fags (deep down) wanna be chicks with dicks
if we all are...
...then what?9.) i'm curious, how many of you transwomen would consider undertaking relations with transmen
that includes, monogamy
that includes, eating vagina (if the transman desires it) without complaint
i'm listening
An error occurred while saving the comment so, i want to acknowledge, zeb, the way you framed the matter was exceptionally-tactful and straight-forward
which is to say, if any 'detractor' thereรคfter can read what you stated, and still wanna be combative / cantankerous โ the issue, assuredly, is with them
their contribution to the discussion is naught but noise
An error occurred while saving the comment hey there zeb!
thanks bud!it's not often i get to hear that โ being a Thinking Man isn't very popular, y'know
(especially-so, nowadays)all the same...
...i'm hoping, maybe my last 3 or 4 entries here shall hold the fort down
(if not, at least, for a little while)i do wanna reรฏterate, i fully embrace the reality of the situation
i see, clearly, that our social fabric steadily disintegrates
that, i know the voices of the Sane & Sensible, ordinarily, is handily drowned out by the clamor of the Wickรฉd & Idiotic
=====
i don't intend to trawl around uservoice forever, getting into it with everyone on the wrong side of the debate โ be it about the ethnicity filter;
or, be it about the legitimate need for Gender Divergents (and the men who pursue them) to have their own space,
so they don't bother us and we don't bother themwho knows?
perhaps, in my stead, someone else can look to my past screeds, and use them to fight the good fight for me, while i handle my 180 messages
(ha ha)
An error occurred while saving the comment indeed:
all of this talk of "filtering" is a non-starter, if people won't fill out their damnรฉd information properly
which, in this modern era of unmitigated, unrepentant weirdness
โpeople, earnestly endeavouring to out-do each other in meaningless "Edginess" and Subversion;
and, ardently attempting to "creatively interpret" / forcibly re-define basic words, concepts and ideas that really should be left well enough aloneโ
by the day is increasingly more frequentthough, you could argue, those who opt out of correctly labeling themselves, may opt to spend their time with similar rabbleโขrousers โ away from the general population who *did* comply with the Community Effort of maintaining peace, common decency, and order
An error occurred while saving the comment lylli.
i don't need my usual walls of text to explain how *you* are precisely one of "Those Ones" who make it exceedingly difficult for other transwomen to engender mainstream acceptance
(though, in spite of myself, i'm gonna Wall It Up anyway)to your credit, at least you borne the humility to concede the necessity of Identity Filtering;
unfortunately, you'd spewed forth so many other, irrefutably-Trash Statements along with itโโyour predicating your counterโขargument on the premise of,
We homos all fawn over this supposรฉd "forbidden" Str8 Fruit,
unequivocally-demonstrates why I, and anyone else with some sense in their brains, should not remotely take you serious, lass1.) explain for me, cogently, how any aspects of my reasoning were "illogical"?
2.) it is true, i may only speak for myself on this matter.
never-the-less:
in my day-to-day affairs, i can 100% confirm for you, i keep my focus /solely/ tracked on guys who already ARE "for me"i'd *fully* relinquished theใ"turning" a straight manใfantasy nineteen years ago
(a 'fantasy' that never was very strong in my mind to begin with!)โข if, a sexy-as-fuck straight man does happen to decide i'm the one he can subvert his long-held sexuality for?
of course i'm not gonna say "no" to himwhat horny homo would reject such an opportunity?
he can experiment away, so long as he's not a creep about it
โข but, guess what lyl?
if that event never does organically transpire?
i'm not losing a single wink of sleep over itโข concurrently, i'd engaged in the practice of consistently removing, from my grid, self-declared androphobes (trans-chasers) LONG before i knew "uservoice" existed
and i axe androphobes without prejudiceโ
โ**especially** the 'hot' ones
(the ones who aren't too cowardly to show their faces;
to own their strange proclivities)2a.) i say i can speak only for myself on that matter; yet, i'm confident a **very** large number of other mentally-stable gay men, also, could not give a flying fuck about "turning" straight guys
that's one 'agenda,' markedly ABSENT from our daily, monthly, or yearly itineraries
2b.) apparently, in your world, lylli..
..there are no objectively-attractive, {cis-masc / masc-presenting}, gay men?i'm not sure how you managed to make such an oversight..
..did you get the idea in yer head, we {cis/masc}-seeking homos are all Ken Dolls?
that, only your "straight" suitors may be Hot Roughneck Masculinos, and are a treat reserved exclusively for women?i can reach no other conclusion than thisโ
โconsidering your (implicit) presumption our tribe faces such an extreme lack of compatible Masc / Masc-Presenting Options (even if our grids weren't populated with so many Undesireds), that,
we perenially wile away for some mythical Confused Bloake,
in the hopes one of ยดem might deign grace us with his presence,
for the chance of finally making ourselves whole?(where did you get /that/ notion from?)
3.) i theorize: if anything, transwomen relish in the delusional fantasy of "turning" a straight manโ
(or, if you prefer an alternative framing of this scenario, Charming an ardent hetero into forsaking a cis-woman to be with you)
โsignificantly-more than we3a.) i don't know this for sure but, i suspect transwomen don't mix that often with other transwomen
which is fine โ and perfectly understandable
ยดs just a thought i have in my pretty little head
4.) as based on your glib gloating...
...one aspect of Basic Human Sexuality which i surmise you haven't grasped is, the reasons why a straight man **wouldn't** hit up dudes
on, why, "straight" men areโif, only, onceโgonna convene with adequately-passable transwomen instead, over us cis/mascs4a.) *real* straight men, by definition, natively desire women and their womanly features โ *and* straight men can never bear sexual interest in, nor feel sexual arousal for, any iteration of another man, a man's physique, or his Genitalia
so, they're not gonna find themselves prowling around on grindR
That's.
Point.
Blank.And.
Period.
โข ยดain't no Heteros on that app, in the first placeโ
โany one of those gentlemen *you* connect with, at best, are gynophilic/androphobic bi-sexuals, //
are deeply closeted, and wallowing in the nile,
// or, at worst, are mere Fetishists who view you as the means to their freakish, selfish end(bonus points, of course, if your "straight" man stays as true to his Professed Nature as possible, by avoiding all reasonable contact with your junk whenever he's "interacting" with you
maybe, even, caging you and shaving you
i mean..
..that's the entire point of snagging yourself a Breeder โ yeah?
his being that guy who isn't just another cock-hungry faggot like the rest //
// but is a *real* Manly Man who's gonna imagine he's plowing a woman's snatch the entire time he's deep in your manhole?)An error occurred while saving the comment if you're lucky, your guy may be seeking the "full course" โ opposed to, treating you like a glorified fleshlight
(if you're lucky.
but, the moment he intentionally / knowingly interacts with your genitals, for Pleasuring Purposes. . . . .)4b.) as an aside: i want to highlight the transwomen & crossdressers who can't,
or can't afford to,
or don't *want* to "pass"those women, functionally, are as a full-fledged dude in a straight man's eyes
you forgot about them lyl?
5.) also.
lylli?
in spite of the societal / psychological handicaps you're already saddled with, as a sufferer of gender dysphoria...
...if you had, in fact, "60 messages" in your queue as you claimed..
..why on earth were you up in this thread, debating distastefully with me / us?5a.) sorry\not-sorry for the following ad hominemโ
โbut..
..it's an arduous, herculean task for *decent* individuals to establish sustained, quality connections with other humans;
from where i'm sitting, lass: i feel justified in questioning how many from those "60" hits you boasted about actually are worthwhile, above-board peopleand, not, Categorical Gutter Trash
6.) we're not trying to erase Transfolk from existence, or The Family
(and, there is no "competition" to speak of, when men like me never were a consideration for the androphobes)
that never was what any of this 'bickering' was about
would you accuse me of being "phobic" against lesbians if they were to crowd up grindR, and i complained?
can you look me in my cyber eyes and tell me, honestly, you'd be fine with *your* grid getting taken over like that?
would you still come at me with all this Sunshine & Rainbows talk of "unconditional inclusion" when it becomes even more difficult for you to get your own dick / bussy wet?
We A Family?
i'm all for LGBTQ+ inclusivity.
At The Right Times & Places.grindR's not one of these "right places" for no-holds-barred commingling.
6a.) see what happens, indeed, with an adult connections site that professes an Open Arena for any and all to come through, irrespective of gender identity / sexual orientation โ while following grindR's shitty ass business model
how do *you* reckon this would look like?
be objective.
think with your head.
not your heart.An error occurred while saving the comment 1.) i don't condone or endorse eugene, or anyone who comports themselves as eugene had
2.) i don't endorse or condone right wingers, or right-wing rhetoric
2a.) while i'm not "left wing," i do actively detest right-wingers with a perfect passion
3.) naasik, what are you basing your claim about us gay men on?
ยดsounds to me like you're calling all of us "transphobic"
3a.) i'm not white
i'm not white,
i never shall be confused for "white",
i don't feel any urge to *be* Whitei assure you, i don't limit myself to just white men, either โ all flavours of cis/masc-presenting man are welcome for mustache rides
4.) "allyship" has nothing to do with what makes my dick hard, naasik
i am 100% empathetic towards female-presenting men's / transwomen's plights,
and am willing to personally put a bullet through the head of anyone who murders an innocent sufferer of gender dysphoria,
while, at the same time, harbouring 0% desire to ever bone one myself4a.) my "0% desire" ain't got nothin' to do with "society" pressuring me into phobically-rejecting transwomen / female-presenting men
(the same goes for *actual* women
you know: the sex which you model yourselves after?)
what turns my cranks was already established in my hard-wiring from the moment my two halves first converged in my mother's uterusโ
โestablished, and activated, long before i was informed that i was *supposed* to be pining for chickscome to think of it..
..if i had to conjure up a number on the matter, Transfolk (woman or man) didn't *truly* enter my realm of consciousness in any substantive way until, freakin', 2011almost two decades after i'd first jerked it to pics of speedo-clad musclemen in bodybuilding magazines
so, no
no, i had no one in my life telling me "you gotta stay away from the trannies"
"trannies are sick in the head"
"how anyone's dick can get hard for those confused wannabes is beyond me..."when i was growing up, people in my community didn't concern themselves with transwomen, or drag queens for that matter, at all
you wanna know what i *did* hear, as a kid, though?
"you a faggie"
"stay away from the faggie"
"why don't you be a real man?"
"you know queers are gonna burn in hell right?"i am wholeheartedly glad my being effeminate / excruciatingly-soft was only a phase that i was able to mostly shake off, beginning at fourteen
5.) i'm just as "phobic" to women;
as i am "phobic" to the `straightยด men who make it clear they aren't attracted to other men;
as i am "phobic" to the bisexual and gay cis/masc-men whose looks and/or attitudes don't appeal to me;
as i am "phobic" to the Ghosts who somehow feel they are entitled to demanding "pics" from me, though my profile already has 5 face-showing photos thereAn error occurred while saving the comment ยดmatter of fact...
...even when adjusted for "scale" โ i am willing to bet anyone here a million, my block list holds an equal proportion of dudes to chicks, if not largerincluding many, *many* "traditionally attractive" cis\masc fellas whose balls i would've licked, and whose holes i would've bred, in a heart's beat,
who i've made disappear, instead โ several of them, (obvious) catfish, of course; but the rest got 86'd because of their attitudes / habits / behaviour..
..OR because they told me they didn't wanna connect with me(at which point, keeping them around on my grid is pointless)
6.) nothing good can come from your continued insistence upon indiscriminately weaponizing "Phobia" against anyone who doesn't want to sleep with you or / and advocates for proper separation
6a.) speaking bluntly: your doubling, tripling, and quadrupling down against us gay cis-men, in the manner that you are, demonstrates for me a profound lack of logical reasoning, foresight, and ability to think of other people's feelings / struggles
gender dysphoria, and all that comes with it, sucks
i readily acknowledge this
but your having that condition does not obligate anyone else to accept you into their beds when they don't want to, or to just silently sit back and take it when there's conflict
7.) alexxโ
โjust like eugene, you were engaging in very problematic behaviour too
explain for us why we gay men *need* to have an experience with transwomen / transsexual men / crossdressers?
going by your logic, "straight" men *need* to have an experience with us cis/mascs before they can say for sure what they do and don't like
what makes us gay men "haters"?
8.) time and time again, i've laid out various iterations of these above arguments yet it seems like nothing almost ever sticks
8a.) but i already know what one main reason for this is: on both sides, there are too many intellectually / emotionally stunted people
wouldn't life be much easier, if such profound disturbances of the brain weren't so pervasive
8b.) the recently-burgeoning compromise, proposed by the gays, of making grindR allow users to section off one's grid by gender / sex WITHOUT PAYWALL struck me as pretty common sense
yet, i haven't really seen any transwoman on here, or the other thread, acknowledge this
several others, like jhonatan below me, TL;DR'd the sentiment, so "having to read through walls of text to see the suggestion" isn't an excuse
9.) naasik
yes, actually โ the pervasiveness IN GENERAL of individuals on our grids who we don't want to, or CAN'T, have sex with,
on a platform that was not originally marketed to us as being "open to all" (which it isn't โ if it was, why have i not seen a lesbian ONCE in my 4 years on grindR? why don't transwomen and "straight" men bother the lesbians on their apps?) is very much problematicdepending on where you live, there can be up to 25% transwomen / crossdressers and 25% "straight" men taking up squares at a given moment
blocking what you don't want to see is only a piss-poor bandโขaid, for reasons i've covered a few weeks back
9a.) "phobia" may only be flung around so much before it loses its intended, original meaning, mate
An error occurred while saving the comment women?
i want to bring to your attention, this largely-unspoken Facet of Reality which often gets overlooked: many of us gay and bi men (the non-delusional ones, anyway) want all the "straight" jokers gone from off our grids too
because our bottom line, our end goal?
that remains the same, in all this madness โ if a connection isn't even a *remote* possibility..
..if the Sexual Congress proceedings are a non-starter?there's no need to show up to the fiesta in the first place.
especially, not at a platform which prides itself on restricting the activities of The Unpaying through any means it can get away with.so, you see? our "agenda" doesn't only "target" you
if you wish to continue bringing "phobia" into this discussion, you should posit that guys like me are just as phobic against transwomen as we are phobic against the "straights"
viewed in those terms, i suppose you need to be as mortified for your "straight" cohorts as you are for yourselves, in this Grid War
or?
or, maybe, you should finally get it through your heads, this never was a matter of "transphobia"โ
โof a lit stove calling a broiling oven "hot"a man's not wanting to mingle with women isn't inherently transphobic or misogynist
a gay/bi man's not wanting to waste their time with "straight" men who they can never be fucked by or suck off isn't inherently hetero(andro)phobic
speaking of delusion: yes, i do understand your frustration as a (trans)woman, for you to have even fewer (safe / less risky) options available than cis-MSM
how, as things currently stand, a lot of times you just can't know, from simple observation, whether that bearded, macho-looking man you've set your sights on is gonna *want* himself a sissy to ream mercilessly or, if he fancies another Strapping Bearded Lad to fuck the living dog shit from out of himi hear ya
but.
the same way we gay/bi men are expected to respect the preferences of the heteroes, so shall you, of the trans tribe, respect the preferences of the bi/gay menyou gotta know, that in staying here and hashing this out, day after day, month after month, year after year, ad nauseam, with us, you're expending precious energy fighting the wrong battle, against the wrong opponent
we gay men are not your enemy
we're not out there harassing you, or murdering you
your vaunted "Straight" Boys are significantly-more likely to hurt you in a way that ISN'T imagined, before me or anyone else like me ever would=====
tenorioโ
โi wouldn't recommend your paying for grindr under *any* circumstance
their customer support is horrid; and they're apparently stripping features away from xtra as well, while still increasing its pricing
and i hear tell, that unlimited members have to deal with buggy chat just as much as the free members
An error occurred while saving the comment we all a community?
alright
i got'cha, k pierce
so, i trust that you have accounts (which you actively use) on meet-up apps designed for lesbians as well?
how about the meet-up apps which cater to the transgendered?
tindr?
bumble?
hinge?since we all a community
i mean..
..at the end of the day, We All Human โ so why not partake of the heterosexual meet-up apps too?=====
ah.
by the way.
"Grindr - Gay chat" is what Grindr LLC calls itself in the android app store.
("Grindr - Gay Dating & Chat" in apple's app store.)
but grindR "never stated it was an app for gay m(e)n"?might you be able to explain this contradiction for me, k pierce?
also..
..with the way you worded it?
i am given the impression that, like javi, you're not a gay man either.speaking of "equality" โ how do you reckon most average women would appreciate average men being with them in ladies' public lavatories?
women's locker / changing rooms?for that matter, what might average (intelligent) men think about average women showing up in men's restrooms / locker rooms?
An error occurred while saving the comment javi..
..that's a pretty ignorant thing to sayi take it, you're not a gay man
i will also deduce, you're one of those "straight" guys who have a grindr profile which says something like, "i'm not interested in masculinos"
tell me why it is, your distaste for men (including, masculine women) isn't homophobic but, somehow, a gay man's distaste for women (including, feminine men) is transphobic / misogynist?
make that make sense for me, bruv
make it make sense for me how, in your "argument," you didn't know to use the terms "transphobic" / "gynophobic"?
i think, if anyone is mad, it's you
you're mad, that you're more of a societal outcast than gay men are: that, people think it's even weirder for you "straight" guys to be seeking out chicks with dicksโ
(if only they knew how, in some of these arrangements, it's the Dicky Chick who's the top, while the "masculine" man is the cum-slurping bottom!)
โthan it is for a big burly man to be laying up with another bruno machote -
2,578 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment (unchecked) mental dysfunction makes people do inexplicable things
๐
An error occurred while saving the comment in 2011, xtra cost $4.97โ
(in today's dollars, $6.74)
โa month(there was no "unlimited" until 2019: three years after joel simkhai sold grindr to ๐๐๐ข๐ฃ๐ข๐ง๐ -๐ค๐ฎ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ง)
i wonder..
..i wonder about how membership dues managed to climb from $6.74/month to $39.99/month=====
@ w f
i make you the promise,
as ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ as i see lesbians mixed in my grid,
with the expectation that i'm just supposed to sit back, shut up, and take it, without any recourse,
i'm outi'm out, and am ๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ looking back
โ
โ
โin the back of my mind, resides the thought on whether it's really just a small, vocal minority of mentally-unwell "women" who enjoy kicking up such a big stink over this
because it's.. ..supremely-illogical to me, how the "women" fight with us so vehemently, towards the cause of maintaining an ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ which really doesn't benefit ๐ฉ๐๐๐ข that much
โ
โ
โi would love to know who was on grindr when it first opened:
after conscientiously-avoiding the app for over a decade,
i finally caved, joining in 2019โ
(2 years after FOSTA-SESTA killed craigslist, and all the other on-line avenues which "women" had to discreetly link with their self-loathing, predatory, queer buddies)
โwhich does mean, rightfully, i cannot speak to how many "women" there were, or ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ'๐ต, co-inhabiting the space, back thenof course, i do presume grindr was very much a cis-gay (and cis-bi) haven, in its heyday โ certainly so, for those regions where there wasn't a notable population of gender dysphorics to account for
given my prior experiences with growlr and scruff, a "gay haven" was what i had in mind about grindr when i signed-up: ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ = ๐๐๐๐๐, they say
as i said before: had i known what the ๐๐๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ก reality was.. ..i probably would have continued abstaining
that way, i could've employed those 10 - 13 hours of my life i'd eventually go on to lose, for something else better, other than kicking about here on uservoice@grindr โ uservoice@grindr, whose matronly moderator is A.W.O.L.
grindr@uservoice โ whose matronly moderator wouldn't lift a finger to port this issue from here, over to george arison's inbox,
for him to iron out a solution to make all sides happy (call it "segregation" if you wish),
even if she ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ activeanyway
that's basically the crux of my argument: if it was made clear, from day zero, grindr purports to be an all-inclusive hang, the "women" (and queers) would be well within their rights to chastise us for changing a system that was already firmly in placeAn error occurred while saving the comment yeah
seriously though
i know it'll never happenโ
(because "unity" and "cohesion" are non-existent {which, considering the circumstances, is presciently-ironic for me to lament about, i'm aware})
โbut, i would love to know what the others would say if we gay men just up and leftif we take care of the problem by "separating" ourselves from grindr
through fully portraying itself as an "all-inclusive" app, grindr will drive away its original target demographic
(a self-defeating move, if ever i come across any)๐ข๐๐ฃ, do i wish we gays could unite-and-boycott
there are still a lot of people who don't know how to disable grindr's execrable ads..
..well?
with this boycott:
between their being gone, and the other revenue getting stricken by those who aren't paying for memberships anymore, i reckon grindr management finally would take noticebut by then it'll be too late
โ
โ
โ
surelet's let ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐ค๐ฃ๐ in
lesbians?
๐๐๐๐๐๐ heterosexual men?
asexuals?
animal fuckers?
heckโ
โthe ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐ณ๐จ๐จ should get in on the actionsince, you know, grindr never was intended to be an app for men-seeking-men
An error occurred while saving the comment hey
are any of youse familiar with charles aznavour's ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ "๐ ๐๐๐"?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_8ShLxS-pU โ live performance, 1980
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PodyJFKJI1I โ original 1972 recording: with better sound quality, but is ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐)would you believe, this ditty is one of my all-time favourites?
i am ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ก๐ฎ savvy on what this song of old chuck's is about
a poignant, subtly-haunting piece
โ
โ
โ
โ
my fellow cis-homos!you feel up for sharing one of ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ Gแดษชสแดส Pสแดแด๊ฑแดสแด๊ฑ?
an unexpected ๐ ๐๐ฒ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ which serves as a cogent reminder your own ๐ฟ chromosomes shall not be repressed โ no matter if you're the most ๐ผ๐๐๐๐ข ๐ผ๐๐ within a 4,000โขmile radius?
An error occurred while saving the comment alright.
kris?
may i pose you these queries?
these queries, on who you are sexually attracted to?
on, who you aren't sexually attracted to?i'll set the framework for what sort of response to give that, by answering ยดem myself:
mainly,
but not 100% exclusively,
my attraction lay with normal(-ish) cis-men who, for most occasions, land between 5.5 - 8.5, out of 10, on the feminineโandrogynousโmasculine spectrumยน;i am open to relations with some vagina-bearing transโขmen โ and, yes, i believe i would engage in cunnilingus with a transโขman. . . . .so long as ๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ Personal Hygiene, ๐๐๐ Grooming, are observed;
i can connect (and ๐๐๐ซ๐ connected) with masculine-looking, but slightly "campy," hombres too
(for example...
...i'm imagining ๐บ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ป-๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ธ ๐๐บ๐ถ๐๐ต
โwho i ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ have a huge crush on, just as a general matter of speakingโ
as good-natured, campy muscle bear: i reckon i'd stick to izaak like purple on an eggplant{ha ha})
so long as, i can pick up on a modicum of The Essence of Man (as I define it), with the person whom i'm dealing. . . . .
-----
for the other side of the coin:
simply, i feel no natural sexual\emotional attraction for women
โข to, overt / wanton effeminateness
โข "traditional" / "conventional" female traits
โข ๐๐๐๐๐-feminization
โข breasts, and แดแดสแด แดแดแดแดแด๊ฑษดแด๊ฑ๊ฑ, do nothing for me, eitherone's hairstyling, also, mattersโ
โkeeping it brief: i'll tell you i gravitate, heavily, toward "conventionality (๐ต๐ช๐ฑ๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ด๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฐ)"=====
so...
...tell me who you piques you, krisโ
โ
โ
โ
ยน are there any men who *naturally* place a 9.0 - 10 out of 10, on this spectrum?
they're probably exceedingly rare
i rank myself as 7.4 - 8.1, typically
i do experience 6.6 or, even, 5.9 days, every now and then(๐ ถ๐๐๐ ป๐ ต๐๐ ด๐ ฝ)
An error occurred while saving the comment oh.
by the by.
i was only, sort of, rhetorically asking you guys about whether a large number of female-presenting men engage in the practice of Block Evasion,
via deletingโขthenโขre-creating accounts,
AND/OR through creating multiple concurrent accounts.i can tell you point blank, the "women" also do this.
All.
The.
Time.i wanted to upload 9 screenshots, documenting 4 such "women"; however, the option to attach files from within uservoice has been removed since the last time i utilized it..
..so i'm forced to leave Links to an outside site to do the jobby-the-by (2):
there are, on my block list, scads more "women" besides the four i'm featuring,
who have, several times, "lost their chats";
but i'm not trying to spend all day combing through my Shit List โ i reached my maximum on it, probably, back in 2021(that's a lot to try showcasing)
at any rate, all of this is more geared towards the individuals who love chiming in with, "if you don't like seeing trans people, just block them"
yeah?
if only it were that simple. . . . .
-----
at this point..
..what good is blocking, anyway?
when thoughtless, selfish people who only think with their second brains, simply circumvent it every time via Delete / ReโขCreateโ
โor, worse, by conjuring up Multis: causing us Disinterested Folk to eventually have several dead accounts in our block lists, wasting space?that of itself should be a bannable offense
=====
you will take note, there are plenty of cis-men (a couple of whom, may be considered very "conventionally attractive") in my blocks too
so โagainโ i don't want to hear anything about "transphobia"
as, in case you need reminding of this: i am a **gay** man
not "heterosexual"
not bi-sexual
not hetero-flexiblei don't have any weird or "alternative" definitions of Gay going on.
meaning, i'm only seeking men (convincing, normal{-ish} transmen included).
thusly, it is a categorical Waste of Time for me, for women (a.k.a. "female-presenting men") to be on my grid,
as it is a inexorable Waste of Time for women, for me to be on their grids.it's GrindR.
not Christian Mingle.=====
here are my screenshots of the "Artful" Dodgers
https://ibb.co/KzQJSbP
https://ibb.co/bmsnZ6G
https://ibb.co/P1RB04Z
https://ibb.co/dJ1tNZp
https://ibb.co/0QmxjMW
https://ibb.co/rFtd2bd
https://ibb.co/rsxgX4f
https://ibb.co/N3qCXxH
https://ibb.co/Bcq6DmRfor those of you who think you might notice a patternโ
โlet me make it known, it just so happens that One Segment of the trans\woman population in my area are more prone to "losing their chats" / not taking "no" for an answer than others
which is why, that segment is the one which got showcased the most in my screencapsdon't worry: i am an Equal Opportunity Blocker
An error occurred while saving the comment ya know..
..all of this is reminding me of one of the very first things i did, after creating my inaugural account (back in 2019) and getting on the grid โ which was, going on a mass Bสแดแดแดษชษดษข Exแดแดแด ษชแดษชแดษด, (fruitlessly) removing each and every "woman" / androgynous person who appeared there(by the by: i hold no hard feelings for anyone who wishes to block me, due to my being and looking like a masculine cis-man;
so, i don't want to hear anything about "transphobia" or "gynophobia" โ especially if you're an androphobe๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง, right?)
i have to wonder.. ..are there really ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ transgender women, and gender-fluid / transsexual men, in my neighbourhood?
or is it, rather, that these are the same individuals who continually / perpetually make new accounts, in an attempt to block evade?
perhaps, it's a combination of both?though, i don't quite apprehend what one wishes to accomplish, via the ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ข๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ tacticโ
โdoing this won't make you "seen" or "visible" to those of us who are only interested in other ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ / ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐- / ๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐, on what originally was an app designed for men
(yes: including my femme brethren)persistent block evading will have the ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ intended effect, on those of us whose attentions you're so insistent upon garnering
i get annoyed by this when i observe ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ cis-men showing back up on my grid over and over, after i'd already eliminated them 2, 3, 4, even 6 - 11 times prior
If I'm not attracted to you, I'm not attracted to you.
(Periodt.)
โข Especially, not when you do nothing to change who / what you are from the last time I nixxed you.
โข Not when it's painfully obvious from your pictures, you are not "together" in your head.
โข Or, if you're some vain peacock who gives off the impression you expect the world to cater to your every whim, while you personally offer nothing of worth in return.
โข Or, whenever you can't take a respectfully-stated, tactful-but-direct rejection, the first time.=====
https://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsexual
an interesting read, for those who may be interested in learning more
An error occurred while saving the comment at the end of the day, the problem really lay with grindR:
grindR โ which, on its storefront page, makes the claim, "The world's leading social network for gay, bi, trans, and queer people."okay.
cool.that, alone, tells you everything you need to know about the situation
it *would* be nice, if grindR were to allow filtering, so we gays don't have to deal with (or see) the "straight" men, or "women" on our grid; so that, the bi-sexuals can go bugger off and hang out with the "women," whenever their moods change
so that, the constant bitching and moaning which we-all do may, once and for all, finally cease, so we can get on with our lives and enjoy the app the way we'd like
it would also be nice, if you people didn't play any games with the Gender / Sex questions, and actually answer what's asked for honestly and accurately, so that the faction filtering may function at its maximum efficacy
but, i have to try driving this point home once more..
..for all the arguing and bickering you guys do on here (and elsewhere), this one point seems lost on the vast majority: grindR is **not** interested in listening to youthe only things the c-suites of grindR understand, are these:
โข their own pain and suffering
โข their own deaths (hopefully, due to a consequence of their Business Decisions)
โข the near, or complete, loss of their money due to a sufficient number of people boycotting their productand even under these circumstances, those priggards don't normally learn the lesson we'd hope they'd grasp, from what happens when the customers they screw over get fed up and revolt
===
the most common sense thing to do, is to provide separate spaces so that there may, finally, be a modicum of peace
all the money which grindR (unfortunately) makes, i **know** they can do it
grindR won't
even if grindR did let us filter by gender / sex, grindR will only paywall it off.. ..thereby resolving nothing but, if anything, introducing yet another element of classism into our lives
so
what to do?An error occurred while saving the comment joey, are you telling us / me this, as a fellow gay man; or, are you telling us / me this, as an individual with a more open range of attraction (pan / demi / bi / queer / et al.)?
i don't reckon that a gay manโ
(the sexual identity, "gay," *not* being subjected to these multitudes of new-age interpretations)
โ who understands what's going on would make such an expectation of another gay manyou surely must, by now, be aware grindr limits the number of blocks each of us have to our name
concurrently, many don't know they are not supposed to waste their blocks on the infinite hoards of bots, massage / rent boys, and international scammers which grindr had, years ago, integrated into its system as a means of furtherly padding its revenue streamโ
โthereby chipping away at the erasures they can apply to actual humansfor those of us who are picky (i know some of you are not): on its own, there is already a nigh never-ending stream of gay and bi-sexual fellas on the system who can be purged from the gridโ
โnot factoring in those fellas who are mentally ill, mentally dysfunctional, meth-/crack-/heroine-/fentanyl-addicted, emotionally disturbed, and act with malice / negligenceon top of this, we gay males have to see females on our grids too?
2.) no reasonable, mentally sound person, would demand nor compel a staunch heterosexual to engage in homosexual acts,
*or* to force them into an attraction for an individual who is of the "correct" sex and sexuality but who comports themselves as if they're not cis-/heterosexualso why can't we staunch homosexuals be allowed to enjoy our homosexuality in peace?
who's it hurting, besides those who are not of the correct gender and/or sex whose affections, by definition, we cannot reciprocate?
there is nothing misogynistic nor transphobic about our basic, hard-wired attraction
and, again: no matter what any of you say, forcing gay males to commingle with females won't get either side anywhere far
femalesโand those who are attracted to themโwould be much, much better off with their (your) own space
i know grindr has no intention of creating that much needed trans/female-friendly space,
so believe me when i tell ya, joey, et al., i'm continuing to look for an alternativeif i had the ability to, i would create that No Females space myself,
but i don't have the money nor the programming experience for itAn error occurred while saving the comment letsgrind, i agree
i agree that all of us cis-males, who have zero (or little) sexual attraction to femalesโ"females," worded as such intentionallyโshould ditch and never look back
i've been sitting back and watching the comments, over these last couple of weeks, unfold here ever since i'd shared my latest thoughts on the matter
it saddens me, more, how most of our gay brethren don't realize that grindR's "leaders" are perfectly content to keep things as they are โ that, our griping here *never* will change anything
they're more than content to allow grindR to become the latest headline of failure in the news, so long as they have their millions
all those bastards understand is money
if i knew that a class action lawsuit would strip those crooks,
who've ruined what once was a great product for gay men
โand passable transmen who have, to the best of their ability, fully committed to transforming into menโ
of all their wealth, i'd surely join inyet..
..i also know the reality
it would take a literal miracle to finally kick grindR's current leadership out of their ivory towerbut i suppose we can still try
do you have any suggestions LG?
An error occurred while saving the comment i wonder, if the c-suites of grindR are reading through these comments, having a great laugh at all this tribal warfare we've been waging amongst ourselves for these past few years now, while enjoying their steadily-incoming millions
they *have* the ability to make both sides happy, within a week's time (or less)
but grindr has no interest in this
=====
to my trans-sisters (and your allies) out there, who have been "speaking out" here thus far:
1.) you would have an exceptionally valid point, in arguing against us cis-gay men, if grindr had started off as an "all-inclusive" meeting app
(again: "all-inclusive" would have to include our cis-lesbian sisters out there)
if grindr had been like this from the beginning, i would have never joined
because i am interested in other cis-men.
2.) because i am interested in other cis-men, and passable trans-men.
no amount of arguing with me, or others like me (especially, the men who only want other cis-men, period), will change that basic aspect of our attraction
for the majority of us: our attraction, and desire to convene with other men, is no more "misogynistic" than it is "transphobic"
i, as a gay man, would not force you of the trans tribe to commingle with cis-women, if that's not who you're attracted to โ and i would not try gas-lighting you by claiming you're "misogynistic" for it
do you understand where i'm coming from?
An error occurred while saving the comment would be funny if all us cis-man (and trans/masc), masc-attracted bloakes opted to abandon this shithole, as our final response to this takeover (and lack of appropriate response from the app management)
just let the "straight" guys and the "women" take it all
then we'll see who really needs whom
grindR has been a shithole anyway, even /with/ all the fellow members who fit in the general demographic i say that i look for (who remain the {bare} majority, at least on my grid)
An error occurred while saving the comment @Mak if you truly believe all of this, then you must be fine with sharing our space (your space) with the lesbian members of our "all inclusive" grindR community, too
including, the biological men who transitioned to women, and demand to convene only with other transwomen
on grindR
(they're women, seeking other women โ thus they're lesbians)
this, to me, is the correct logical conclusion to (and fulfillment of) your stance on this matter
no?
An error occurred while saving the comment honestly, it is more logical for you-all to have your own space
you should *want* this for yourselves
the main point of grindR is for finding sex connections
i can't speak for the bisexuals; but, i do feel rather confident, you're not going to get many of us *truly* gay cis-/masc-guys to want to do anything with you
it would be one thing if our ability to filter and block were unrestricted; but extremely restricted, grindR makes these โ and a pricey premium, for those who do want access to the lackluster filtering suites grindR does offer
as an FmAF, don't you want to maximize your matches?
with grindR as it is, now, i can't imagine you're finding many (well-adjusted) dudes who aren't a hate crime just waiting to happen
inclusivity isn't /always/ the best approach
on the most basic level, most of us gay guys aren't being misogynistic โ we're literally just following the direction our basic instinct takes us to
if inclusivity is your true aim, then tell me you have accounts with lesbian-centric (bi-sexual women, included) sites too
do you think we gay guys do?
straight men?An error occurred while saving the comment i'm only on 3 apps;โ
;โi'd abandoned cruising for ass and dick from my desktop almost a decade ago: when gay(dot)com and men4sexnow were killed off;
manhunt eventually became the template from which scruff (which, itself, does some pretty bad pay-walling too) modeled itself;
bear411 became less and less reliable;
and, adam4adam became an even more-toxic cesspool of panhandlers, caspers, and mentally ill menironically (and sadly), grindR remains the only one of my 3 present cruise apps i've had the most "success" on, to this day
in my area (and with my life circumstances), my options for connections are fairly lacking
~though i do appear to be fairly popular abroad~i tell you all this, to declare that in consideration of the current landscape, i don't need a million of these hookup apps on my phone, when i know 70 - 95% of the members (and the end results) on them are gonna be the same all across
so, re-direct your energy from demanding we cis-gays deal with you, and your "straight" cohorts, invading our turf unabated (which, honestly, really doesn't make much sense anyway), back towards grindR, for forcing them to provide us the proper separation we need so all of us can enjoy a better chance of finding what we desire
or, AGAIN: you can always create your own app
problem, solved
==
not everything needs to be open to everyone
"safe spaces" for transwomen to congregate / commiserate โ you want us men to be in there with all our testosterone, ruining your ambiance?
you want us men to join you in your women's bathrooms?
also, grindR is a private business โ the owners (shitty as they are) have some rights to say who their creation is for
An error occurred while saving the comment it says more about you, than me, that you (as a fellow black man, no less) got this upset about my commentary on the subject, brandon
i reckon my "roll" travels along just fine, thank you
the reasons i reject individuals is just that: on an individual basis
though, it is perfectly valid for me to categorically-exclude the unhygienic, psychopaths, the willfully ignorant, murderers, and trump supporters
An error occurred while saving the comment michael, you'd have a profoundly-valid point if the app in question was one that started off as a general lgbtq meet-up app, OR an app that caters to FmAFs and the FmAF-attracted
any "regular" gay man who then signs up with the app, knowing that's how the app is like, thus has zero grounds to complain about sharing the space with FmAFs / FmAF-attracted, and is prime for being decried as whatever "phobe" you'd like to call him if he does
but, grindR was not one such app
grindR, first and foremost, was an app catered to us cis-men, who sought other cis-men
no one asked us if we were okay with ceding our space to FmAF-attracted / FmAFs
it's already difficult enough for us gay men to connect on our hookup apps, due to all the phobias, the general mental dysfunctions, and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference" WE have to face, every second of every hour
being compelled to share our space with women, and those who only want women, simply is untenable
but, the most culpable, in this problem, remains grindR leadership โ they have the power to give you-lot your own separate space, so as to reduce conflict
grindR chooses not to do so
gay men don't want women
gay men don't want men who don't want other menwhat about, what WE want?
An error occurred while saving the comment at the end of the day, grindR ultimately remains responsible for this mess we're in
let's suppose, though, grindR does finally restore the ethnicity filter, and also provides a separate, dedicated FmAF/FmAF-seeking space
you just know, grindR is going to eventually paywall *that* off from the general public as well; or (doubtful), if grindR doesn't paywall these additions, they'd instead just play it slick by furtherly-reducing app functionality for us non-paying members through future downgradesโ
โlike the money-hungry, soulless, greedy bitches they are(which would be a mega-feat to accomplish, in and of itself, considering how unusable grindR has already made itself, up to this point in September 2022)
======
but, to provide a bit of TL;DR for those of you out there who want to "forget" / ignore how grindR markets itself: grindR is Gay Chat
it's right there in its splash page when you go to download the app for the first timei mean, you don't see lesbians running around on grindR, do you?
wouldn't that be odd if you did?
and, wouldn't you FmAFs take issue with lesbians going there, to where the homos are, proclaiming "NO MEN!", being on grindR?well, use your empathy to step into our shoes
i get that a lot of you are just as horned up for manly dick / hole like we are
however, we homos have been complaining about the takeover of our space for a reason
we're not saying, you can't exist
we're saying, "exist on your own platform"and for those homos who like FmAFs, they will know to go where you are
which would ultimately make everyone happy โ surely?(ain't that right, letsgrind?)
An error occurred while saving the comment @sb โ for the most part, i do agree with you..
..but, the underlying "sticking point" remains
a sticking point, that's a "clashing" of conflicting interests
as far as grindR itself goes, it is my belief: there is a concurrence of, both, the small sub-faction of us who elect to be vocal about our feelings, and the majority who also wish grindR was focused on cis-men..
โcis-men who actually seek other cis-menโ
..but opt to keep quiet about this preference of theirs(myself: i am open to connecting with transmen..
..transmen who have committed to being manly
like pashan)you are correct, of course, that the lobbing of insults at the transfolk while arguing the point is unnecessary. i don't condone that.
yet, the fact remains: for most of us homos, it truly is nothing personal against female-aligned transfolk, "femme" guys, and the female-aligned crossdressers ("FmAF" for short โ inclusive of the so-referenced crossdressers and femmes).. ..but our dicks just can't get hard for you.
we're pursuing manliness. beards. hard pecs. in a lot of cases, hairy bodies. sometimes, even, a strong belly.
it truly is nothing personal against FmAFs but, your (purposely) fashioning yourself into a woman makes the proposition a literal non-starter for the cis-man_seeking gays โ all we're really saying is, we don't want our precious, limited grid squares taken up by people we can never willingly make sex withthere is no forcing the point here: even if you are occupying the same space as us cis-Men Seekers, you still cannot compel us to actually go and hook up with you, or to scare up an attraction that simply cannot exist..
..so, at the end of the day โ even if you get what you think you want, by remaining on in our space, you're going to find yourself in the same position regardless: getting politely declined (at best); or being blocked; or ignored; or worse
"half a dozen of one" is still "six of the other"what i *would* tell you (if i had to guess), is the bi-sexual cis-guys who hang out on grindR probably are more likely to be attracted to FmAFs
(i reference actual bisexuals.
not the self-loathing man haters, or the fetishists.)
with this caveat in mind, i am compelled to concede, it is completely logical for you to gravitate to an app that also serves as a home for cis-byesbut..you see the mess we're in now, because of the overlapping of interests
this particular "venn diagramming" works out fine enough for the cis-man attracted FmAFs, and for the cis-byes who are open to "whatever" โ but, not quite so much for us gay beard warmers, who have to compete with limited resourcesthe easiest solution here is for grindR to create a separate FmAF / FmAF-lover space for you to do your thing in
i refuse to believe doing so is *that* difficultalso: i do want to remind you, once more, we *are* in 2022.
this "digital" age.in this age, you truly can create your own "all-inclusive" app, with what surely must be relative ease.
an app, in which no-holds-are-barred on who pursues (and is pursued by) whom.
and like i said a couple of months ago: i give you my SOLEMN pledge, i won't go trudging through your space.
(probably.)in this digital age, i feel like you are able to call on fellow FmAFs / FmAF-lovers to pool your money together to conjure up your app and get the word out there about it.
who knows?
maybe you could even create the alternative to grindR we-all need: implementing all the (reasonable) suggestions we leave here, that are largely ignored.
allow a space for cis-men to hunt other cis-men, unfettered, and even i might throw a few dollars your wayAn error occurred while saving the comment ya know?
bruce wagner made a very good point, in the review he left for this app at google's play store earlier today.
he stated, "grindr identifies itself as ``gay chatยดยด."and this is true.
it says as much right up there in the heading: "Grindr โ Gay chat"
so..
..let me put it to you like this: i, as a gay cis-man, only have accounts with growlr, scruff, and this flaming hot messthat's it.
that's all.not-a-once, has it ever occurred to me to take my little gay ass over to bumble, or hinge, or tinder, or any other breeder grounds, to go bothering those folks there with myใmanly manใcocklust
nor have i ever stuck my nose in the other dating apps that are marketed for lesbians or the transfolk (in spite of my potential attraction for transmen)
~apps marketed specifically for transfolk / lesbians do exist, by the way~so..
..if i โas a horny, cock-loving gay manโ am able to exercise enough restraint to not intrude upon others' spaces... ...why am i being expected to accept (and LOVE!!) intrusions from other tribes?grindr should be a space for cis-men who desire other cis-men
grindr should not be a space for confused cis-men who literally turn their noses up to other (masculine) cis-men, demanding the attentions of "women" ONLY instead so they can pretend in their little warped minds they're still heterosexual
this is the digital arena we're talking about here โ it's not as if it is impossible to create other apps which can cater to any and all combinations of lgbtqi+
hell:
for that matter, the confused bloakes are more than free to create their own app โ "manz4tranz" or something like thatthey can create it: and i promise you, i'll continue maintaining my "i'm steering fucking clear of your area" policy towards it
i wouldn't even go searching for itwhy?
because (even if i don't agree with it) i can respect people's ~legal~ sexual preferences
(plus, i'm really tired of seeing all these hot, butch guys on my grid whose balls i'll never be able to lick; whose holes, i'll never be able to pound
the pseudo-breeders are as functionally useless for me, as the "i'm not bigoted, it's just my preference" fuckers)
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9,223 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment how does one go about tweeting at grindr?
sorry to be a dinosaur but, i try to minimize my dealings with that platform
An error occurred while saving the comment yeah...
...honestly?
at the end of the day, removing the ethnicity filter truly was a meaningless, non-effectual gesture on grindR's part
because, those who are gonna discriminate (due to their prejudice / bias), are gonna discriminate regardless
not having the filter there to intervene merely adds one more step to that inevitable ๐๐ญ๐๐ก๐ช๐จ๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ง๐ค๐๐๐จ๐จ of theirs
โ
โ
โwith that said: i'm telling you guys categorically, grindR is ๐๐๐ restoring the filter
it has been over two years now
so..
..the best thing we can do at this point, is collectively stop paying grindR for what is largely shit-tier "service" anyway,
and use a blocker to nuke all the obnoxious adverts those sons of bitches bombard us with, for every little actionthe only thing the c-suites of any ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ understand is their loss of income, their own (violent, gruesome) deaths, and their own pain โ beyond these, those greedy bastards could not care less if the very world around them burned to the ground
An error occurred while saving the comment the leadership of grindR has made its decision
they're not restoring a god damnรจd thing
at this point, we need to start leaving this forsaken app in droves, and go elsewhere
grindR is beholden, only, to advertisement revenue โ not to the people
An error occurred while saving the comment what could be the cause of this anger, i wonder?
An error occurred while saving the comment aww.. ..eventide, you're so cute.
puffing up yer little chest on here, talking like you're the grindr uservoice forum enforcer.i wonder..
..based on what qualifications, exactly, do you presume your shitty opinions are worth more than my well-thought out statements?
.
.
.
though, yeah.
yeah, you're right, eventide."we" do need a filter.
a filter to help "us" be rid of absolute, wastes of space, wastes of breath, wastes of life trash like yourself.๐ฅฐ
[strike]i presume you're white, or someone non-white who fancies trying to align himself with the (problematic) Kolonizing Klan of the world, right?
indeed.
and here you are in 2022, arguing with a black man and a latin man about race matters.[/strike]and here you are in 2022: a white man arguing with a black man and a latin man about how we're supposed to handle race matters.
classic.
i probably shouldn't mention this here but, something else i've learned some time ago about you and your ilk, is whenever you are asked it directly, you never will openly respond with "No I am not prejudiced nor racist against anyone" or "Yes I am racist and prejudiced and proud of it โ and these are the fuckers who I detest because of their race."
of course, i don't expect any better from your ad hominem-ing ass eventide.
but, ya know?
go ahead.
please do share with "us," what is it you know about the subject of prejudice, discrimination, bias, oppression, racism, etc. โ which joshua and i don't?come.
is this a direct question you feel up for answering directly, or are you just gonna ad-hominem yourself away from that too?
=========
juan?
are you directing that critique towards steve and eventide (and ES, apparently?)..
..or did you direct that critique towards joshua and i?for the record, i'm not "forcing" the colour discriminators to find sexual attraction for anyone โ i'm only "forcing" them to acknowledge the reasoning behind their prejudice and how, on the whole, discrimination solely because of someone's skin colour, nationality, or bloodline is pretty dumb and senseless
there is no equating a MSM's espousing a categorical "no indians" or "no blacks" or "no arabs" (and so on) to a MSM's espousing a categorical "no women"
i know for a fact i was BORN with almost zero natural attraction to the female gender โ there was no one in my household grooming me to not desire women, NOR was anyone in my household grooming me to want a hard dick in my mouth
me lusting for men and not lusting for women is what you very much-can consider a "biological imperative" over which i had no control; NOR had i had this disposition taught me by anyone.
=========
what *is* so "different" about me, i wonder?
why don't i go around saying "no whites" or "no asians" or "no blacks" or "no latinos" (etc.)?how is it possible, i find all nationalities / bloodlines equally appealing?
.....
on second thought.
nah.never mind all that.
i know i'm only preaching to the choir, posing that kinda rhetorical.eventide / steve, and whoever else: i know you're just gonna come back with further garbage.
further garbage, that will not address why you NEED to filter out by race.so please don't bother.
be happy you and i both agree you discriminators SHOULD have your race filter restored.
oh.
by the way.
do you have a problem with me calling you "discriminators"?
but, is that not what you are?
i can readily tell you i sexually-exclude 99.01 - 99.98% of all transsexual / transgender women โ MtFs.
almost all MtFs, i never shall willingly go to bed with.but, you observe how easy that was for me?
i owned up to an entire group i sexually preclude. (i can even explain for you why i preclude MtFs, if you're curious.).
there are other attributes people might have โsome attributes of which, they have no immediate control overโ which would cause me to "automatically" preclude them from my attraction pool; though for the sake of "staying on topic" eventide i won't mention them here.๐
An error occurred while saving the comment @Anonymous ( April 28, 2022 14:48 )
I appreciate your response, in which you were being reasonable and respectful with me.
Regarding the policing of preferences (a word which, in this context, I'd almost always place within quotation marks) โ in spite of my strong words thus far, I'll reรคffirm that I am *quite* 'in favour' of an in-app ethnicity filter, for the racists / prejudiced fellows to employ.
Let it be known: I *had* been (and am presently) working on another response for the 2 - 3 individuals who, thus far, have seen fit to ad hominem / logical-fallacy me here โ in this response, I happen to detail, further, how I believe the restored race filter should work.
No need to worry.. ..My proposed caveats, at their worst, affect neither the discriminator / discriminatee. If anything, the discriminators should be tickled pink.=========
Addressing this to the general forum / my current set of detractors:
Years ago, I'd arrived to the conclusion, I live in a world with many humans who just can't be reasoned with. Humans who, functionally, are "lost causes," who are better off disposed of than to be allowed to continue on, wreaking havoc and causing other innocent humans undue misery.
โข If you are a *rump supporter / sympathizer
โข If you believe racism / oppression is not an issue
โข If you're a "pick yourself up by the bootstrap" espouser
โข If you believe in "rules for thee, but not for me,"technically, I've already written you off.
I know I won't be changing your mind, much in the same way you may be assured you will never change my mind.And supposing you did, somehow, manage that, I'd be a fool to believe you'd embrace me unconditionally: because, long before I came out swinging on this forum, you already decided you didn't "like my kind." Because of my skin.
I'm still amazed you don't come out and say "I don't like the black race." Fucked up as that is, I wouldn't advocate for your being banned / banished off here for making that kind of declaration, of itself.
It's when you start bringing in the extra shit that I have the problem.An error occurred while saving the comment @ ES
I refuse to believe "every single black person" (in your area) seek only trans. I feel like there probably were black men who've previously expressed interest in you but you turned them down for not being your type (which is fine, that's your right to not be attracted to everyone).
I might've been more likely to had lent credence to your lament if you had stated instead "every single black man WHO IS MY TYPE seem to only want chicks with dicks."Never-the-less...
...I agree with you, 100%, GrindR should (if for no one else) be allowing unlimited members the capability to filter by ethnicity and by gender expression.If I were paying GrindR for "premium" service, I know I would want to option to unclog my grid of those individuals whom I never will be attracted toโI am turned on by male / masculine features, which can include the transmen who completely commit to being menโand from those who never will be attracted to me, as I am not a girly boy.
The self-loathing, scared boys who are too afraid to face off with *real* men.
The unfortunate guys who probably could have benefitted from some real, serious counseling / intervention โ I know *some* people were born in the wrong bodies.. ..But *this* many males with "gender dysphoria"? (Pretty troubling, indeed..)
Moreover, I can just look at their pictures and tell they're dealing with mental health issues, even serious mental dysfunction. These dudes made their little "switch," emulating what they think it means to be a woman, and they're still not happy. (If anything, their problems are now multiplied.)On the other hand.. ..Nothing about GrindR strikes me as being worth $40 a month. Basic functionalities which Scruff has, GrindR wants to charge us for.
At any rate, I hope you are not under the impression every black man is "like that."
We are not.@ Cody Padgett
It is true you didn't come right *out* with saying 'The "N" Word' (the "N" word with the hard "-er"), but you might as well have.
Because, with all those words in your comment down there, and you chose to only abbreviate "people" โ in reference to us black people.Yep.
You conscientiously-chose to reduce us to just "ppl" because, in your eyes, we're not even worthy of the consideration of the full word "people."
"Ethnicity" and "Majority" and "Actually" require more effort to spell out than "people," so I don't want to hear any bullshit from you about "I was just saving time" or "I didn't mean it that way."
You managed to cram in so many micro-aggressions against African-Americans, within the span of those fifteen words... ...You should just come out and say you don't like black PEOPLE.
First of all, I am a black man, and I am in support of restoring the ethnicity filter.
(So on that basis alone, automatically, your assertion of "It's only the black ppl" is factually inaccurate.)I am a black man, and I don't arbitrarily restrict my attraction to ANYONE based solely on their skin colour or perceived ethnicity โ so I have no need (nor desire) for that sort of "filter" myself.
I am a black man, and I want the ethnicity filter restored.. ..Though, on the condition, all those individuals who find my black skin problematic / repulsive, reciprocally-are filtered out of MY grid, so I don't have to see THEM.
i don't have a need to see prejudiced, racist bigots โ and good riddance.second of all, it's not the ethnicity filter "black ppl" have the beef with โ our beef is with the racist, bigoted prejudiced assholes who see no problems with their behaviour.
i'd love to know what you think about the indian, latin, thai, white, philipino, cantonese, arab men who willing buried their faces in my crotch โ who all made it exceedingly clear, to me, they wanted to be bred with my black seed.
black seed, explicitly, from MY black dick.you reckon something is wrong with them, because of this desire? are you thinking, "how can they want to lay with a lowly n--ger like that? don't they have any higher standards for themselves?!"?
you can't conceive such a desire is possible?
you can't conceive it possible, people being attracted to others 'in spite of,' 'because of,' OR 'regardless of' colour?
An error occurred while saving the comment yeah, honestly?
removing the ethnicity filter was nothing but an empty, performative platitude grindr enacted to quiet down some squeaky wheels
nothing meaningful was accomplished by doing this
i also would not be shocked if grindr didn't view this "politically correct" move as nothing but an opportunity for a potential money grab, one that makes it more annoying for folks to find what they want (or exclude what they believe they don't want)
we all know the racists, the close-minded, and the bigots are going to stay racist, bigoted, close-minded, and/or prejudiced โ nothing has changed just because their ability to directly sort according to their biases, however short-sighted, has been taken away by the platform they happen to be on
i'm of the opinion: good riddance
i don't want colour-excluding assholes clogging up *my* grid โ irregarding whatever reason the asshole excludes by colour
so, grindr?
bring it back
go ahead and bring that ethnicity filter backfind yourself another battle to fight
fight *this* battle in another way
unless, of course, you actually don't care about the marginalized/ostracized โ only the dollars that you would lose if that function of your app is restored (for free)...
...which, from what i've observed, actually is a "modus operandi" that is well within 'brand' for your companyP.S. โ i'm a black man who does NOT engage in making categorical ethnicity-based exclusions
i'm also a black man who recognizes EVERYONE can be a remarkably-foul piece of shit, irrespective the colouring of their skinthat said, i will leave off with these two points here:
1.) colour exclusionists? ask yourself WHY you exclude all members of a given ethnicity
2.) we've been fighting this war for centuries now, and might well continue fighting it for centuries more
i do have one fun factoid/reminder: back during the time of sanctioned black enslavement, some white enslavers DID, very much, have no problems seeking us out for their sexual gratification
they evidently weren't repulsed by the idea of becoming intimately-acquainted with our ebony black flesh, eh?actually, now that i think about about...
...this is also true of the colonizers from western europe โ the "latin" ones who invaded / pillaged the indigenous of south and north america for many generationsis it not?
those white parasites couldn't help themselves from schtupping all those golden brown natives (natives who, originally, were-all minding their own business...not even aware of the impending White Doom) either
those colonizers didn't turn *their* noses up at the idea of commingling with "lesser" coloured people, now did they?
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1,996 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment no
grindR doesn't listen to any of these comments
that's why i advocate for boycotting the service โ if it's through, not subscribing, or through ad blockers
An error occurred while saving the comment i think grindr (and scruff, for that matter โ an app which i *just* left a 2-star review for, earlier this morning; stating, scruff really was not much better than grindr in terms of its paywalling) would pull a lot more money from us customers if they offered full features for $5 (or even $7.50) USD a month
heck
i'd even consider paying for a yearly, full-access membership at $55 USD โ wouldn't you?it'd surely be better than that $479.88 / year shite they're trying to pull
of course, short-sighted gains, over long-term viability, tends to trump all, in capitalists' minds
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1,463 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment crover, i know this won't be very helpful but, i do want to tell ya, i feel it is genuinely disheartening, you have to go through this every day
have you ever had any luck matching up with anyone?
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158 votes
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170 votes
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1,189 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment dang..
..so many of you don't even know grindR's management has a snowball's chance in hell of ever doing anything to meaningfully address this problem
case in point?
when was the last time you ever observed anyone, claiming to be from the grindR team, dropping by to correspond with any of us โ much less, to inform us of cogent measures being taken to fix the issues?
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192 votes
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3,644 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment you'd think, this should be an easy feature to implement
yet here we are, over 4 years later, with grindr's fingers in its ears, pretending it doesn't hear our voice
(as usual)even if grindr were to allow for the dis-interested to dis-able taps, grindr would just paywall this within 2 downdates anyways
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Have a way to filter out bots solicitation and scams
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24,684 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment heh
you guys don't realize?
grindr is the one sponsoring the spambots
obviously this is so
unless grindr means to suggest, thousands upon thousands of different accounts have as easy a time registering, as we do?
at any rate, don't even bother with blocking / reporting the bots โ it's a waste of time
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173 votes
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Give warnings of any violation
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1,232 votes -
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Reviews/Rating/Flake
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992 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment while i do support the general proposal, i advise that we need to be careful with the implementation of this sort of feature: while some of us can be trusted to be largely unbiased with our assessments.. ..some of us cannot be trusted
i dunno about you but.. ..i don't want my reputation getting tarnished by some impatient, geeked out methโขhead who was impatient and who couldn't fathom the idea someone wouldn't be into his shit
and some of you guys are just way too pushy
you're way too pushy / entitled, thinking everyone who's on the app is ready to give in to your demands immediatelyalso, there is an "honour system" happening here: others are taking your word, you're speaking the truth
the truth about whether the person is, or is not, what they represented themselves to be
the truth about whether they didn't, or did, flakethere will need to be an opportunity for a negatively-reviewed person to defend themselves
there needs to be consequences doled, to any person who intentionally bears false witness against another
which means, yes: grindR admins (who already have a largely-notorious reputation, themselves) will need to take on the role of Arbitrators, also.how well do you reckon *that* is gonna go?
and how long before grindR paywalls *that* function?
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1,595 votes
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2,310 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment so, when was this thread originally started?
back in...
...april 8th, 2020?(ยดseems about right)
and it's been how long now?
over two years, soon to be approaching three โ yeah?
soon to be three years; and most of us veterans have seen how grindR's elected to handle the situation: with the classic "no response IS a response" tactic
it's no longer a secret, grindR has been going down the shitterโspeaking, in generalโfor years now; apparently this company is *not* chinese-owned any longer.
allegedly, operations are back in america.
but.. ..one of the new "investors" is someone who "has ties" with the previous china-based owners?is this why we're going to be forced to suffer through this untenable mess?
is this why our only, viable solution here, is to band together to boycott grindR?
since, obviously, they're only valuing profit over people โ banking on / taking advantage of a majority of users who aren't even aware (or, who simply don't care) there is an issue?LR was very respectful in their approach when presenting this idea for grindR's consideration; but we see this has afforded us no forward progress in establishing the sort of boundaries we cis-men who seek other cis-men need...
...nor, for the Safe Space transwomen / transsexuals (and their admirers) could truly benefit fromspeaking for me: it *is* bad enough, my feeling compelled to "accept" the presence of femboys / androgynous fellows, though i'm not attracted to them either..
..i wonder how transgendered women and the "straight" men would feel, if those sorts were to flock to their space?
i'd imagine, they'd be more welcomed there?
no?
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what do we do about "dedicated" transmen? i don't want to exclude them from the main grindR grid.
(have you seen some of those dudes? ๐ฅต๐ฅต๐ฅต)
how do we ensure we're careful not to take this separation too, too far? -
2,675 votes
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561 votes
speaking as a renowned essay writer!
i'mma keep this one short, roberto, by telling you ๐ฃ๐๐ โ the same way you apparently don't want people telling you, or others, to stay away from drugs, you don't get to tell us, we can't spare a few hundred words
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hmm.
which would i prefer?
being fucked up on meth and eventually losing my looks and my teeth (if i don't lose my life first)?
or, do i take more of a fancy to tapping away on my keyboard for several minutes, posting to uservoice my thoughts about the people who don't respect themselves, nor respect others?
ยดnot sure how many more times i gotta say this but, people's bad habits typically don't affect only themselvesโ
โpeople's bad habits have a knack for also fucking with ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฌ' lives, and livelihoods, as well
i wish it weren't so
but, the numbers don't lie
a cursory look through kim gary's channel on youtube should suffice, towards bolstering my argument
โ
โ
โ
(besides, i already gave my opinion that grindR, and other-such adult dating venues, should allow drug {ab}users to fully disclose what they are, and what they do โ to allow us the opportunity to make an informed decision
{drug peddlers, instead of directly advertising through their profiles, can privately solicit those folks who had openly declared their habits})