Please add a ONE-CLICK 'no thanks/ not my type' button in the inbox, BEFORE even opening the message, also in the taps tab. Even Romeo has done this now, so why can't you do it?

It could be next to the 'delete' button. If it's two-clicks or only available after opening the message, more semi-asshole guys won't bother to even click it, and then it won't make a difference. It has to be easier than opening the message and out again to remove the notification.

Saved messages is not a realistic solution, because that takes 4-5 clicks to say 'no thanks/ not my type', and the culture on Grindr is so mean guys won't even make that much effort to be kind to a person who they only see as a sexual consumer object to use to boost their ego, and treating other guys as so inferior they don't even deserve a 'no thanks' reply is one way they make themselves feel better.

I just want the assholes who use Grindr mainly for virtual narcissistic supplies, not even for real hookups, to make themselves feel superior by not replying 'no thanks/ not my type' to anyone they consider inferior in the gay muscle / masc credit points hierarchy, or by ghosting after they've shown an interest and then persistently not replying, to have an easier time of replying 'no'.

Grindr has an effective monopoly of the gay/bi/queer dating app market, so choosing another app with a less harmful structure and culture is not really an option. Scruff has more space for showing more personality so that abs pics count for less, but fewer guys use it. Romeo is also less reductive and has less of the culture of guys intentionally making other guys feel like shit to make themselves feel better, but it's a hassle to use and takes more time for less results.

Already in the offline gay scene I think the prevalence of narcissistic PDs is >40%, and the Grindr virtual environment cultivates that kind of personality and behaviour even in people who aren't like that offline.

It really doesn't take long to click in saved messages 'no thanks, not my type', and if everyone or most people did it it'd make the online gay socialising experience so much less miserable and self-esteem destroying for almost everyone. You could also make a 'maybe, but not right now' button. Sometimes people don't reply because they're busy and after hours on grindr that also feels personal.

Currently the app structure and consequently the established grindr culture only really works for further inflating the egos of the top 1% of guys who succeeded in physically conforming most to the main gay ideal masculinity type of being big and muscly (or years ago they did and still use photos from then!). For most of us it's just miserable.

And don't say "don't take it personally" - of course it's fucking personal! How can it not be when there's nowhere to go to expand one's offline friends circle now and online dating apps designed just for narcissistic assholes are all there is? I always start off with a healthy attitude of "whatever, assholes!" but after a few hours of grindr I feel like I am the most unattractive thing in the world. In offline socialising spaces I feel like I'm in the top 5% most attractive relative to people's responses and I'm generally friendly to everyone whether I fancy them or not, but Grindr makes me feel like utter shit.

It's making me so angry I want to delete the app but of course there is no realistic alternative for socialising or finding new friends or sex partners due to covid19 closing all the face-to-face socialising venues.

Add a one-click 'no' button, and you would save millions of guys globally billions of hours of wasted time, unnecessary misery and psychological harm, and maybe help detoxify the gay scene to make it less narcissistic supplies and drugs focused.

I often find myself having a hard time filtering through profiles that are by not only men with feminine gender expressions, which I have no issue with, but actual cis gendered women. I support the use of Grindr by anyone who is looking for whatever reason.

But we want what we want. For those looking for a good match it would be best to include all possible identity factors, assuming those are legitimate deal breakers that have no malice intended for the person not selected.

I’m not a misogynist for not being attracted to women anymore than I’m transphobic for not having a sexual attraction in that direction. Likewise I’m not dissing or hating more feminine gender expressing men by not feeling a strong sexual attraction to them.

The filters for gender identity & sex would allow for a much more specific approach that would much more easily pair likeminded people without the need for “masc only” profiles or otherwise “looking for ____”. A selection in the profile that allows others to search or not search for themselves using that criteria would also allow for options when one would prefer to not self apply labels but allow for an open inclusive search where they would appear when those filters are selected.

By reciprocation though it would be equally fair to allow for a feature allowing an omission of those profiles during a search. I don’t believe these are narrow minded or old fashioned needs or ideas. There is a wide variance of expression within the gay community. However sex is as personal as voting & we all have a right to choose our ideal mate without input from others whether it be a Christian family values advocate or your own friends.

Our sexuality is unique & that does mean at times exclusivity. Sexual freedom is as much about being allowed to say no as having the freedom to say yes. Our sexuality as men is typically fairly hardwired. It isn’t a moral issue, a kindness issue or a tolerance issue. We should help honor each other’s types, fetishes, kinks, and orientation. I’m a gay man. I’m not bi or attracted to feminine behaviors or appearance.

I still support those members of the gay community that are more feminine. But I am & always will be attracted to masculinity. And had this not already been a somewhat difficult thing to address, in person, at the widest time, in the past, and knowing other guys who’ve had similar experiences, it seems those options are necessary to avoid time wasted & feelings unintentionally hurt.

Narrowing our search only helps everyone meet their ideal match & ensures everyone is only having a great time.

I realize there are a lot of passionate opinions on this issue from both sides. There are great debates that could be had on the subject of masculinity & being a gay man. Some have happened. But a lot of what could be said positively about masculinity is often silenced by those assuming advocating for that in any way or for features on Grindr that would help allow for a search of only masculine gender expression is a threat, a dismissal, or discrimination against others who don’t meet that criteria. This is as untrue as it is that we as gay men, discriminate against women by not feeling a strong attraction to them, reciprocating advances, or refusing to reframe or rethink that lack of attraction to allow them to be included in our dating options.

From someone’s who’s tried dating feminine men several times over the years, sincerely loving them & wanting it to work, I can say my wiring is what it is. And I do as much harm to them, however unintentionally, by trying to deny that as I do to myself. we all need to accept all of us as we are and that means accepting that none of us are for everyone. That not everyone is for everyone else. That our differences make us great & that will inevitably mean we feel differently, want differently, and since all of us are finitely what we are we will match with very specific kinds of people.

What I do by choosing the wrong guy for me is to deny him the chance to find the right guy for him.

O GRINDR é usado por muito adolescentes anonimamente! Muitos amam usar o app para poder encontrar outros adolescentes que queiram curtição ou relacionamento! Mas até o momento não existe um app q permita adolescentes entre 15 a 18 anos! Seria bom se o GRINDR permitisse isso mas com restrições como! Ter uma aba só dos adolescentes! Mas com uma burocracia para cessar essa aba sendo pedir CPF e RG com foto dos documentos para poder acessar a aba! Assim ter a autenticar a idade do adolescente e não permitir que +19 acessem a aba dos adolescentes! Pois a comunidade LGBT entre os adolescentes é enorme e se isso tivesse no app de vocês seria incrível pra nós