𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝙾𝚏 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙱𝚎𝚎𝚜𝚠𝚊𝚡!
My feedback
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An error occurred while saving the comment i am against this idea
too easy to be abused, by those who wish to abuse others
if you're living somewhere, where it's taboo to be not-cis/not-hetero;
or / and, if you're sneaking behind your woman's back..
..well, i reckon you've got other problems to handle that should take priorityhere's a compromise, though: grindR could code in a 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠 / 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈-𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒅 feature for those who want it
BUT, all of this would be clearly marked in your profile and in your chat window — that way, others can decide if they wish to pursue conversation with you
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also: do bear in mind, there is no rule which says people can only own (or / and, be in possession of) just one mobile device
what i'm getting at is, if someone wants to whip out...
...a second (or third) independent camera, to manually record what's happening on the device which you and they converse?and THEN distribute their capture?
they certainly can do so.
and, it could be argued, that such a recording, by an independent device, can be taken as an even-higher caliber Incontrovertible Evidence of your indiscretion — one that was much less likely to had been hacked / faked
so..
..if they don't get you one way, they assuredly may get you in anotheryour best defense is to share nothing you're not prepared to see crop up later
be prepared for a shit show when dealing with an empty box — or, worse yet, an empty profilethough, honestly?
anyone can lie
we can't even trust pictures -
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An error occurred while saving the comment Mate.
You said a bunch of words, to defend the individuals whose practices patently hurt themselves and hurt others.
You accuse me of being "holier-than-thou," yet you're over there advocating for one of the worst elements of society—towards the end of allowing them to indulge in one of the top 20 worst acts a human being can perpetrate—more fervently than I advocate for those same folks' reformation.
You a right-winger?
Is your addiction really that strong, Mustapha?
(Considering how so far-gone you're sounding.)
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By the way: What exactly did you "speak the truth" on?
I've never had a substance addiction.
For that matter, I've never once touched a "substance."My former partner, though?
Previously addicted to coke, and meth; and occasionally dabbled in Ketamine (for sex play).
He was willing to allow himself to succumb to his addictions / "preferences"; and he would have, if it weren't for the intervention of someone who could reach him in a way I wasn't able to.My mother?
She had the misfortune of continually getting into relationships with "men" who snuck behind her back and messed with heroin and crack.
These "men," with whom she eventually got into arguments, constantly.
These "men," who stole from her, and even stole from ME — to fuel their habits.Ah.
But, you'd wish to gaslight me again, by telling me I made all that up?
Me and Akalah both are simply lying through our teeth about our life's experiences?
All because we have a hard-on for "shaming" the mirthful meth•heads?
Correct?Hey.
Listen.
You and I will never see eye-to-eye.So, do me a favour.
Load yourself up with some good crystal, and go party away for the next nine days.
Since, as you infer, "it's all gravy, baby."
And perhaps, during your binge, you'll link up with someone who'll take care of your problem.
(Or, as you would prefer framing it, your "business.")Who knows?
Maybe I'll get lucky?
You come across a batch of meth that's seasoned with fentanyl.It's not a big deal — right Mond?
An error occurred while saving the comment 🤢
you (and people like you) make me sick mustapha
full stop.An error occurred while saving the comment alright, mustapha
let me get this out of the way:
i'm not a nihilist
i'm not an anarchist
i'm not interested in making the world burn down
and, i fully (and unabashedly) believe in the mantra, "no man is an island unto himself" — as the corollary to khaled hosseini's admonishment, "nothing happens in a vacuum in life: every action has a series of consequences, and sometimes it takes a long time to fully understand the consequences of our actions"
no amount of sticking one's head in the sand shall alter that aspect of our reality's, mate
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i took immediate notice, you didn't even make an attempt to acknowledge this one statement akalah said, not even two days ago:
"I got drugged, sexual assaulted and now living with HIV so I would say it has affected me very fucking much."
from where i stand..
..akalah's well within his rights to be anti-drugs / anti-drug abuse
(drugs, including roofies)similarly, you made no acknowledgment of my statement, pertaining to people who—unbeknownst to me—came to my place doped up
(doped up on meth / coke, specifically, in case that wasn't clear)now, suppose a cop with a true hard-on for justice happened to be tailing one of those dudes..
..and he gets it in his head, that the residence which his target is visiting, happens to be a supply house?and the cop decides, this is a fine time to seal the deal?
it's still "none of my business," that i have police at my apartment, looking to arrest *me* for something i had nothing to do with, mustapha?
An error occurred while saving the comment mustapha?
bruv?
tell me what it is i'm doing, that would merit my being booted / banned from the platform?
also, i'm only really "shaming" the individuals who believe their abuse is something worth being proud about
those who want to brag about their drug-fueled escapades as if there are no consequences to their shit
myself, i'm not "shaming" anyone who's dealing with legitimate mental health issues
not 'shaming' anyone who already feels remorse, and who wishes to kick their habit, before their habit kicks them
so..
..you can cut the crap on that onealso, speaking of "minding one's business" — i think people's habits become "my business" when they approach me, asking if i party
or, when they come to my residence, unbeknownst to me, already tweaked out
their not giving ME the choice or chance to decline meeting them
An error occurred while saving the comment i'm a hater because i don't condone wanton substance abuse?
nor tolerate those who glorify doping themselves up to the extent of obvious (reckless) impairédness, as if that's the best 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞-𝐨𝐟-𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 in the world to be?
alright then
i posed two Direct Questions back in october—
—two direct, easy-to-comprehend questions, which were not buried in any walls of text, at allnary-a-soul acknowledged them
let me repeat those queries here
(perhaps they'll get answered this time)𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖 𝙛𝙪𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 "𝙝𝙚𝙥" 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮, 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨?
𝙞𝙛 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 (𝙖𝙗)𝙪𝙨𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮?
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yep
i'm well aware, people are gonna get high
people got high since the beginning of time
and they'll continue getting fucked up until the very last one of us croaks
(which, at the rate society is going, could happen within the next 25 - 100 years)
that said, i don't need any of you getting on YOUR anti-moral high horses judging ME for my choice to abstaini don't need any of you getting on your anti-moral high horses "judging" me, for my not turning a blind eye to the realities of substance abuse
people die
other people, who don't even TOUCH the shit, get killed, or even murdered, from others' substance abuse
that ain't speculation or "just my opinion":
that's 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥, 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝, 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲-𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝
if my stance on the matter makes me a "hater"?guess what?
then i'll be that dude stationed in the peanut gallery.
booing you.
and caterwauling you.
and chucking rotten tomatoes straight at you.
—merrily—
while you're showing your ass on the Public Stage
thks
(in case it's not clear, i'm not referencing lightweight shit like marijuanai'm not concerned about one's getting a bit buzzed off of a couple of servings of booze)
An error occurred while saving the comment me?
i'm punching down?
An error occurred while saving the comment i get the sense, that those of you who love your drugs, never shall see eye-to-eye with those of us who want nothing to do with drugs
i get the sense, you have no interest in attempting to see things from our point of view
or, put in another way: there must be a reason that *everyone* isn't using
i get the sense, those of you who love your drugs, probably wouldn't be so gung ho about it if we-all did
(unless, of course, nihilism is your nature
{it's not mine})
for the record:
though, not the worst in the world, my own childhood (and adulthood, for that matter) is far from "sweet" or "idyllic"i personally watched my housing project change for the worst, back when the cia decided they needed to bring my people down even further by introducing us to crack cocaine
by all measures, i should have been dead by now — perhaps, with a needle sticking out of my arm
yet, my own personal traumas have not killed me
nor have my traumas compelled me to seek out the embrace of "self-medication"what concerns me more, is how some of you are acting like you don't know fentanyl contamination is an on-going, and ever-increasing, threat
not even weed is safe from lacing
An error occurred while saving the comment hmm..
..alright thenso, tell me jarrett
what do you reckon?
should all of us use?
if we all use, what will be the outcome?
An error occurred while saving the comment speaking as a renowned essay writer!
i'mma keep this one short, roberto, by telling you 𝙣𝙖𝙝 — the same way you apparently don't want people telling you, or others, to stay away from drugs, you don't get to tell us, we can't spare a few hundred words
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hmm.
which would i prefer?
being fucked up on meth and eventually losing my looks and my teeth (if i don't lose my life first)?
or, do i take more of a fancy to tapping away on my keyboard for several minutes, posting to uservoice my thoughts about the people who don't respect themselves, nor respect others?´not sure how many more times i gotta say this but, people's bad habits typically don't affect only themselves—
—people's bad habits have a knack for also fucking with 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬' lives, and livelihoods, as welli wish it weren't so
but, the numbers don't lie
a cursory look through kim gary's channel on youtube should suffice, towards bolstering my argument
(besides, i already gave my opinion that grindR, and other-such adult dating venues, should allow drug {ab}users to fully disclose what they are, and what they do — to allow us the opportunity to make an informed decision
{drug peddlers, instead of directly advertising through their profiles, can privately solicit those folks who had openly declared their habits})
An error occurred while saving the comment @wealthy drIp gaming,
i think i get the gist of what you're saying, but i fear i cannot go along with what appears to be your underlying sentiment, of "what i do in my private time is my own business"
i'm also taking note of the way you framed one of your positions — your highlighting of only the "successful" users, without any apparent acknowledgement of everyone else 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 / 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙, who aren't so lucky
it is my view, typically there are two inevitable outcomes for those who get themselves embroiled with controlled substances:
• you end up in jail, for a reason 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 than simple possession or, even, distribution
• you die, in some undignified manner: slowly; or through traumatic incident; or, by overdosethose who can "control" themselves seem to be in the minority
you're being disingenuous if you're going to assert that everything is only 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 & 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐰𝐬, with drugs(ask the citizens of mexico, brazil, afghanistan and colombia what they think about the matter)
speaking for myself, i'm not a nihilist—
—it is very much my belief, no man is an island unto himselfhttps://cdllife.com/2021/video-drunk-wrong-way-driver-causes-serious-destruction/
i, personally, haven't been directly affected by an impaired driver, and i was shaking and feeling distraught, watching the crash—
—imagining the trauma to amberly's soul: her being very much alive and conscious one second, with her then being unceremoniously-𝘴𝘯𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 the next
i was going to mention a certain array of other folks (who are no longer with us), to further highlight my point regarding the fallacy of your pointing towards the minority of "successful" users, as the means of justifying a lax attitude towards substance abuse;
what i'll do instead, is i'll ask you to tell me of some professional, career-minded, successful, (hard) drug-using people 𝙮𝙤𝙪 personally know, in 2023 (july, the 9th), who are also well-adjusted—
—people you 𝚋𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚍𝚎-are assured of, who are in no imminent danger of suffering a crisis, as elvis, or anne heche, or jarad higgins, or amy winehouse, or janis joplin had
?
can you?
people 𝙮𝙤𝙪 know—
—people you can supply first-hand testimony for, regarding their over-indulgence in meth, alcohol, fentanyl, coke, heroin... ...or perkies, codeine, xanax, ghb, 3mmc, or whatever other foolishness is out there=====
there is a counter-saying i am quite fond of, regarding certain folks' perceived liberty to conduct their "personal lives" ꜱᴀɴꜱ ᴀᴛᴛʀɪʙᴜᴇʀ ᴅ'ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ à — 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐬
it has been demonstrated, with a fair amount of consistency, most people can't keep their habits to themselves
from the meth•head who breaks into cars, and allows multitudes of hiv-positive people to rawdog him, for days at a time,
to the drunkard who gets on the highway and eventually blindsides an innocent family,
to the coke fiend who goes to work and abuses everyone under them,
to the her'on hero who enjoys nothing more than walking out in the middle of traffic to perform their precarious balancing act,i see no reason for you to pretend all is well with them
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BUT.
with all that said: i would much rather, drug users are allowed to be open with the rest of us, on the apps—
—to allow us the chance to block them, at our discretionyep
"stigmatization"
but, i have the right, not to associate with people whose futures are precarious, and whose activities are dubious—
—do i not?and, be damnèd the ones who insist on being dishonest: even when they no longer have to worry about being banned, or about being reported to the police (for simple possession / use)
you surely must know, some (ab)users 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 lie / obscure the truth anyway, in order to get what they want
that's human nature, i hear
An error occurred while saving the comment i hate..
..well, what i hate, is when one's recreational / "coping" activities end up hurting themselves and/or others(drugs, of themselves, are not really the issue)
the fact is: if some people want to indulge, even to the point of destructiveness, people are
(you gotta remember, even "good" things can be abused / detrimental, when consumed excessively)
i bet some of you would be surprised to know, for example, "junkies" are not at all a new phenomenon, popping up in the 1980s, or 1970s, or even the 1960s
verily — heroine, opiates, cocaine, even meth, *were* indeed commercially retailed to the general public for general consumption, in the 1800s, up through.. ..the 1950s
full stop
these drugs eventually were available on shelves, for any and all, without any especial regulation
"laudanum"
i imagine some children partook, considering most people simply could not have known better
innocent babes, thusly, to become eventual, unwitting "junkies"
(how many mothers pre-damaged their children in the womb, from filling their bodies with dangerous substances which were marketed as Salubrious?)in the 1800s
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look
if you want to be done with the drug problem..
..eliminating drugs isn't the solution
unfortunatelyno
you'll need to curb the natural, (in)human affinity for getting high(the innate affinity for attaining and sustaining that dope-amine rush—
—no matter the consequences)
well?
how do you propose making that happen?
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as for grindR's role in all this?
basically: grindR simply is the ghetto of hookup apps
and i make this deliberation as a black man who was raised in (and fairly-bruised by) the ghetto;
while there are some good souls here and there..
..there are also many, many bad apples to be found throughoutin case you weren't aware, you cannot reasonably expect that much from said Damaged Goods — you can't, regardless of who did the damaging, or how the damage was incurred
look
if people don't peddle / solicit their coke or their meth on the platform directly, they'll either use code language, or code pictures (snow, clouds, ice cubes, etc.), or they'll simply conduct their transactions off-line, to get the job done
people's creativity, for doing things they should not be, is nigh-unlimited
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people *are* going to get high, irrespective of what you or i might feel about their potential recklessness..
..perhaps, we really should begin to focus on harm reduction, and the decriminalization of simple recreational use, so long as the user can uphold their end of the bargain, to remain productive members of society, who cause no harm to the collective with their [habit]an even better idea might be, formulating drugs which can provide the high of the most potent meth, with the side effects of the most normal medium-roast coffee (2 cups)
´like, i dunno..
..pertaining to the drugs themselves: aren't the /real/ Real Issues with these, the addiction to the dope-amine hit the brain develops.. ..and the withdrawal which the body goes through when the brain doesn't get its "baba" in time? -
25 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment a better compromise is allowing members the option to opt out of taps if they wish
not all of us feel the same way you do about taps
not everyone (who discourages taps) bother to reply to the initial "normal" messages they receive: not even the friendly "hi"s, or the "how are you doing?"s, or "hey there cutie, how's it hanging?"s
the 𝚗𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝘪𝘴 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎 folk
(of which,—of them,—sometimes, i am one
{though, i do encourage people to tap me
considering, i am aware of taps' true, intended purpose}) -
1,486 votes
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Grinder needs to make profile face pics mandatory to have a profile
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663 votesAn error occurred while saving the comment that's all fine and good, annon
truly
as long as you stick to only chatting up other picless people, be assured that none of this applies to you
the actual issue stems from anonymous folks going around demanding in-person-meets from those of us who do take on the risk of showing ourselves to the rest of the world — and then give us shit (or / and play games) when we ask to see what you look like, as you are able to see us(are we 'patsies' too?)
hey
if someone wants to gaybash you, they'll find a way—
—trust me on thatalso, you can never really know when someone is out there targeting you 'anonymous' folks
you never know if you're being recorded, specifically so you can be outed later
you may fancy yourselves ᴄʀᴀꜰᴛʏ or 𝙨𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙮; but there's always someone bigger and badder than you are
Trust.
An error occurred while saving the comment the compromise to this suggestion is Verified Profiles
like scruff already hasthis wouldn't affect the "i need my discretion" folk (we can still shun them like we always had been)..
..but this would allow us to give a justified side eye to whoever elects to remain unverifiedone caveat: grindR MUST make this nudge to verify identity, both, highly visible and persistent until / unless a user accepts or rejects the proposal; and, grindR must make it difficult to accidentally dismiss the prompt
basically, all the common sense shit that we know grindR runs contrary against in its day to day operations
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3,800 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment no
grindR doesn't listen to any of these comments
that's why i advocate for boycotting the service — if it's through, not subscribing, or through ad blockers
An error occurred while saving the comment i think grindr (and scruff, for that matter — an app which i *just* left a 2-star review for, earlier this morning; stating, scruff really was not much better than grindr in terms of its paywalling) would pull a lot more money from us customers if they offered full features for $5 (or even $7.50) USD a month
heck
i'd even consider paying for a yearly, full-access membership at $55 USD — wouldn't you?it'd surely be better than that $479.88 / year shite they're trying to pull
of course, short-sighted gains, over long-term viability, tends to trump all, in capitalists' minds
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1,284 votes
An error occurred while saving the comment dang..
..so many of you don't even know grindR's management has a snowball's chance in hell of ever doing anything to meaningfully address this problem
case in point?
when was the last time you ever observed anyone, claiming to be from the grindR team, dropping by to correspond with any of us — much less, to inform us of cogent measures being taken to fix the issues?
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218 votes
i do like that idea..
..i just wonder, how difficult would it be, to code that?
(i ask about the difficulty, considering how the grindr app has shown itself moderately-incompetent regarding **simple** tasks, like ensuring our chats don't break; or, not automatically refreshing-to-the-beginning the grid we were previously on, after backing out from a profile we had been looking at)