Missed Connection

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  1. 3 votes

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    0 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback » XTRA/Unlimited  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
    Missed Connection shared this idea  · 
  2. 497 votes

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  3. 6,287 votes

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    1418 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    Missed Connection commented  · 

    This reminds me of a computer science example... a company developing an AI system to automatically monitor/flag racism and hate speech found that A Certain Ethnic Group was disproportionately getting flagged. It turns out that that group's "cultural" speech excessively drags their own and other people's ethnicity into conversations and places it doesn't have to be, and refers to people by their ethnicity, rather than their humanity.

    So, the solution in our topsy-turvy "poltically correct" world was to give that Certain Ethnic Group a free pass to be racist. After all, "it's not racism when we do it."

    There, as here, we see an example that when a system is actually and demonstrably unbiased/unracist and does not allow others to be biased, it gets called "racist" and there are then demands to change it, to deliberately introduce bias into it to accommodate "socially acceptable" racism.

    I work for a large and diverse organization and find there are many departments where the leader is of one particular ethnic group, and surprisingly all of their employees end up being that same group over time, even if they are such a tiny percentage of the overall workforce that it defies odds of millions to one should it be random. But again, "it's not racism when we do it" and this is "socially acceptable".

    Bottom line is that we are almost all racist to at least some small degree by the actual and basic definition of the word, though we pin all sorts of other labels on it to legitimize it. It's just part of human nature that we have to fight against, as with much other negative baggage from our past.

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    Missed Connection commented  · 

    "No matter how you look at it, an ethnicity filter on my apartment block does not cause racism, it actually helps it. Some landlords just are not comfortable with certain races as tenants. It'd be like saying you're a horrible landlord because you don't want tenants with wide hips. Every landlord has tenants they prefer and you never really know why."

    We all have these biases and prejudices... myself included. Most of us have eyes and ears and end up unconsciously sorting, preferring and rejecting people. I guess only those like Helen Keller can be completely unbiased.

    I am no better in this regard than anyone else. I just don't expect anyone else to promote or foster my biases and prejudices.

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    Missed Connection commented  · 

    How would having an ethnicity filter prevent deliberately hurtful messages from POS trolls? They wouldn't be using it or else they wouldn't find anyone to hate on.

    We already have a blocking mechanism for them which works just fine and I hope was immediately applied to that one.

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    Missed Connection commented  · 

    The claim that somehow filtering people by "race" is not "racism"... just amazing. Well, sorry, if it is in employment, housing etc. then it is in this too. Right, right... it's never "racism" when it's something *I* need.

    Examine your own prejudices in that you are saying that you are attracted to certain people because of their ethnicity. How is this different than a landlord being attracted to tenants of a certain ethnicity? Or employers to employees of a certain ethnicity? (Both of which are, of course, illegal in most places.)

    Everyone has biases and prejudices but we should not expect assistance from others in realizing them.

  4. Have a way to filter out bots solicitation and scams

    23,371 votes

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  5. 2,399 votes

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    58 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback » XTRA/Unlimited  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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  6. 94 votes

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    11 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback » XTRA/Unlimited  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    Missed Connection commented  · 

    I looked through the features that Xtra and Unlimited gave as I was absolutely certain that a longer About Me and more detailed profile was going to be a primary selling point, as I completely agree that the Tweet-sized About Me is the worst feature of the platform, and no: it's not even available when paying for it.

    As noted, it's just encouraging shallowness and wasting people's time having to state what their criteria are in chat whereas it could just be right there in their About Me.

    For example, I'm not interested in anyone who can't be bothered to get an HIV test at least every other month when they are hooking up with strangers, nor trust enough to show it (which I always will.) Plus I am only interested in one activity, and not in others which are considered almost required, and I'd like to explain why and how I plan to make that one activity as good as I possibly can, so someone can choose to pursue or move on, but 255 characters doesn't begin to cut it. The result is wasted time and effort and disappointment for both of us when we get chatting. I'd upgrade at least to Xtra JUST FOR THIS... give me at least 1K characters to play with. If guys don't have time to read it, I don't have time for them. And one photo is 20x or larger, even a thumbnail.. it's not as though it's a data storage issue.

    Missed Connection supported this idea  · 

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