Eventide

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    101 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Rebecca Martineau, you're literally proving our point here. Grindr is an app designed for gay guys to chat, possibly meet, etc it's even advertised as such and has been for years. Yet here you are as a woman.. whether you're trans or not I don't know, nor does it matter since that shouldn't be allowed either. The app is meant for gay men only just like a site such as "christianmingle" is meant for Christians only and so on.

    There are already tons, and I do mean *tons*, of dating apps for straight people, lesbians, etc. Why is it that lately all the gay men apps are being taken over by trans people, straight people, and females? On top of that, we're supposed to suddenly cater to them too..

    The reason there is no gender or sexuality filter is because it's an app made for gay men only. Shouldn't need a gender filter nor a sexuality filter.. It'd be like you going to China and complaining that they speak Chinese. You're using an app made for one thing and complaining that it doesn't do something else.

  2. 5,988 votes

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    1393 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    Eventide commented  · 

    I don't understand people defending the move to get rid of the ethnicity filter as if that suddenly stopped racism. If anything, it makes racist people see profiles they really don't want to see and makes them more prone to lash out at these people just to mess with them..

    Why would you want these people to see your profile rather than people that actually do want to see you?

    An ethnicity filter is NOT racist no matter what anyone says. It's a sexual preference and you do the same thing when you go to bars, other apps, etc.. even without the filter you'll still just bypass people of an ethnicity you're not attracted to.

    If anything, removal of the filter was just another ploy to get people to upgrade so they can see more profiles and have to scroll even more.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Anonymouse (once again), I always love when people say "You're not even worth my time" then continue on.. Please decide am I not worth your time because you can't make a proper argument or are you going to continue wasting everyone's time trying to act like an intellectual when you clearly aren't?

    The "why" wasn't in your original message. I gave you clear questions in my response and you still couldn't answer a single one of them. Then you try to turn it around to something entirely different and redirect to how you're not even here for any particular reason. You yourself say you're not here to get it restored nor are you here to not have it restored. Literally saying: " I truly do not care if the filters are restored..." If you don't care, why are you here? It's hilarious to me when people like you say these things. You started out saying I'm not worth your time yet you continue to argue. You continue on arguing then say you're not arguing. You even then try to say how you don't care but if you didn't care you wouldn't be here in the first place. You can't "not care" and still keep being so affected by it.

    What's even more funny is when people like you do this "You wrote 5 paragraphs..." crap. As if because someone has an actual well thought out, and concise, argument that makes them less than you. You who keeps being unable to prove a single point or argue any point whatsoever. The very second something doesn't go your way you redirect or try to dodge it.

    My questions still stand. Let's see if you can answer them. Refer back to my previous reply for them. Though I doubt you'll be able to answer a single one with an actual thought.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Anonymous Let's use your example of a bar. In a bar you avoid people you're not interested in. If someone you're not interested in was to approach you what do you do?

    Now about the "wearing a sign" bit, considering we're not in person so you can't see our reaction or body language about you, it's best for people to "wear a sign" per se when online. Best to just get it out there what you're looking for, what you're not interested in, etc.

    If you were hiring for a job would you want to see all the people that aren't even qualified for the position? No.. all you want are the people that could be a fit. Why? Because it saves time and frustration.

    I'd much rather someone have "No white guys" on their profile so I know to not even bother than to try and chat and get no reply, get blocked suddenly, or get "not interested."

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @John, most of the time I see "racist" stuff being called out left and right it's some white person acting like suddenly everything is "racist" against certain races.. or it's the race themselves trying to use it to get their way.. which is racist.

    A DATING app having an ethnicity filter is not "racist" in any possible way. It's a sexual preference and everyone has them. Some are attracted to older people while some are attracted to younger people.. those people get along very well. That doesn't mean suddenly they're ageist and will act horrible towards those people.

    What I don't get are the people here trying to say how people shouldn't be allowed to say "no (ethnicity)" on their profile, but also want the ethnicity filter back.. So you want us to be allowed to filter by ethnicity but also not be allowed to say "I don't want black guys" or whatever it may be?

    Not being attracted to someone doesn't mean I'm racist, ageist, etc. It just means I don't like them sexually. I can still communicate with them, like them as a friend, etc.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    Something I fully don't understand are the amount of people saying things like

    "Having the ethnicity filter helps those of us who are not white find each other but let's be honest, it was probably used 90% of the time by white men trying to find only other white men."

    This line is saying it helped races find each other, but then immediately turns around and becomes racist.

    Why is it people are allowed now to just bash "white men" and we're supposed to accept it? But then if we talk about wanting a race filter for whatever reason, people say it's good for "non-whites" but if white people use it suddenly it's racist??

    It's like people are allowed to bash white men now and that's not racist, but anything white men do is racist or scrutinized.. which is literally racism.

    As was said by Ken recently, racism is preventing people from doing things based on their race, making things harder/easier based on race, etc. Removing the ethnicity filter literally did both of these things. It wasn't racist to have it or remove it. What is racist is the issues that arise from not having it. I'm a white man that's not sexually attracted to other white men typically.. I really like asian men. That doesn't make me racist, it's just my sexual preference.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    Okay somehow this has turned into idiotic politics. Left or right doesn't determine if you're racist or not. People really should learn what left and right means in politics before trying to use it.

    As for the filter protecting or attacking anyone whether it exists or not, it does neither. Having the filter removed didn't "protect" against racism.. it literally made it worse. Having it wasn't racist either since all it did was allow people to find what they're attracted to.

    The people saying the filter should exist so races can find their own race is just idiotic and racist.. the majority of people want the filter so they can only see who they are attracted to. I'm a white male that is particularly attracted to asian males. That's not racist it's just my sexual preference. They don't HAVE to be asian, but that's what I'm most attracted to. There's black people attracted to white people, asians attracted to black people, and so on. None of that is racist. It's not even racist to filter people out based on race. I'm not hating black people by not wanting to see them on dating app. The people that see it as racist are racist themselves and trying to project their racism onto others to look more high and mighty.

    Basically having the filter wasn't racist. Removing it however was racist since it's trying to force everyone to love everyone. Like you're not allowed to have a choice anymore because *choice* is somehow racist.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    I love the people that keep commenting saying things like "The majority of people that want the filter back are white people trying to filter out POC"... you do realize that statement is full of racism? You're assuming the majority are white and you're assuming they're filtering OUT POC. Yet they also say that the POC trying to find POC only are allowed to do so..?? Like I will actually quote what Anonymous said 3 comments before this:

    "Some of these comments here are coming from POC member who can't find other POC which is valid BUT the minority." So if you're POC you're allowed to filter out other people. However, if you're white you're not allowed because suddenly THAT is racist? Seriously, what are you people trying to argue exactly?

    Also, if you go through the comments here the majority are actually white people wanting to filter out people to find people of other races.. like I, as a white guy, would generally like to find an asian guy. Why? I'm attracted to how they look. That's not racist whatsoever. I could be attracted to a white guy for how they look and suddenly it's not considered racist by anyone at all.

    Now, to get back to the topic at hand, the reason this is all talk about what is and isn't racist is that's literally what Grindr's response was. They took out the ethnicity filter because of the people suddenly demanding that it's racist. Many other sites did it as well and I know a few left it up to user vote. Recon had it as a discussion and vote to see if people wanted the filter to stay or not and it ended up staying. The filter itself is not racist - it's idiots that use it and just getting rid of it doesn't stop anything except honestly give into it. Saying that because some people are racist suddenly we're all not allowed to have choice unless it's the "right" choice.

    The way some of these people claiming the filter is racist are talking it's like they're even against interracial couples. None of it makes any sense.. they argue against the filter saying it's racist but show blatant racism in the same breath. The other hilarious thing is that a majority of the time it's "Anonymous" that's against the filter and it's people with actual names that are for it. Almost like the "Anonymous" people know they're wrong and can't show themselves.

    In the end, the filter needs to be reinstated as it's not racist whatsoever. The people claiming it is racist can just move on and make their own SJW catered app and watch how it crashes and burns.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Anonymous Oh god, people like you that go "You don't get to tell people what they deem racist/hurtful to them."... So if someone's say using Grindr to find people and do malicious things, I can't deem that hurtful to them? Sure it's an extreme, but that's what you're saying here.

    Racism is simple it's people like you that are racist. Your entire argument here is you telling me not to do something you literally do in the same reply. If I can't tell someone how to feel, you can't tell me how to feel. If I can't lecture you, you can't lecture me.

    It's also always hilarious to me that people like you will go "Unless you're (insert race) you'll never understand!" instead of actually trying to get people to understand. Why is this? I know the answer; it's because you yourself don't even know what you're arguing so you use cop outs. It's you with the "basic and limited understanding of the topic."

    Saying you're only attracted to men, is that sexist? Saying you're only attracted to women, is that sexist? Saying you're attracted to younger guys, is that ageist? Just because I'm not attracted to women doesn't mean I'm sexist and can't be around them, can't stand them, etc. Just because I'm not attracted to older guys doesn't mean suddenly I'm ageist and can't stand older people. I can be friends with them all but there is no sexual attraction whatsoever. Yet somehow you say just because you're attracted to someone based on their race (and skin tone is only a small part of that) is suddenly racist. I think you need to learn the actual definition of racism so I'll post it here:

    Racism - prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

    Is there prejudice from sexual attraction? In otherwords, injury or damage resulting from it? No. Is there discrimination? No. Is there antagonism? No. It's literally a positive thing that you're attracted to someone and yet you still act like it's racism even though not a single bit fits the definition of racism.

    Also, funny that you call me fragile when you're the one that can't stand someone actually likes you for something. Something you suddenly deem inappropriate for reasons you can't even explain yourself. You're also fragile since you're the one inserting things like racism where they don't belong purely because you NEED something to argue. Then when someone uses logic and fact against you, you turn into an emotional wreck and hope that "wins" you the argument by them not replying.

    Having a filter is NOT racism. If it is going to be considered racism, then no filter should exist whatsoever. We shouldn't be allowed to say we're straight, gay, lesbian, etc. By your definition that's all an -ism of some kind. By your definition by me being gay I'm sexist. By me liking people of my own age I'm ageist. By your own definition we shouldn't be allowed to say what we're attracted to and should be forced into being attracted to every single person because anything else is "wrong." Like I said, your argument makes no sense and you know it doesn't.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Henrique, It's not even "hypersexualize black bodies" that makes it racist.. To find someone sexually appealing isn't racist. That'd be like a white guy saying "I LOVE BLACK GUYS" and you calling him racist over it.. that makes no sense. Sexual preference is not racism in any way whatsoever.

    Singling someone out purely based on their race is racism. Like saying obviously the smartest kid is the asian. Or saying the black guy is more likely to be a criminal. Those things a racist.. not being white and saying you're only really attracted to black guys.

    If you do want to say that's racist, then you're racist because you yourself said you're not interested in even talking to white people.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Anonymous You say this as if only gay men discriminate because we have a preference. You also act like this preference is ONLY from a place of racism. None of this is true whatsoever. That'd be like saying you weren't born gay, it was just a product of your environment. Which again would make no sense with gay people that were around when it was pretty much a death sentence.

    Your sexual preference is an amalgamation of many different variables. There's DNA, environment, previous history, and so on. We already know that there's predispositions as well and we're not sure where they come from exactly. Just because you're predisposed to liking a certain race sexually more than others doesn't mean you're racist. There's people that are not attracted to overweight people whatsoever, does that make them a "fat shamer?" There's people that are attracted to only their age or younger, does that make them ageist? As a gay man, are you sexist because you don't get attracted to women?

    If you say yes to any of those questions, you have issues you need to work through, not everyone else. There's nothing negative happening here in any instance. I'm not attracted to a fat person, but I can still communicate with them, be friends with them, etc. I'm not attracted to women, but I can still be friends with them. If I was a racist I'd have to hate other races. If I was sexist I'd have to hate a gender. Neither of these things applies to just sexual preference.

    If you would say they do apply, then you must be a sexist pig because you're a gay man. How dare you not like women too!

    It makes no sense, does it?

    Also, it's interesting that you say you've never felt bad about yourself until it was other gay men that did it. So apparently you're not affected by other people being racist, but when a gay man is racist suddenly it's a different story? That shows more issue with you than anything. You also mention your skin color and that's not what's the topic here. I never really see anyone's skin color, that doesn't matter to me, but there are other Asian aspects like the eyes shape, eyelids, their hair type, etc. Each race has many different aspects than just skin color, and it's people like you that generalize it all into just skin color that create issues where there aren't any. You see "racist" as just skin color.. which is racist itself since you're not seeing the races for everything they are.

    In the end, it's you, and people like you, that are the problem. You create an issue and act like it's suddenly "racist" because you know by throwing that card around you get attention lately. Whether you like it or not, people will always have predispositions to other people. Haven't you ever met someone that you just already know you won't like? You know you have and it could have been any combination of things you don't like.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @Anyonymous "Sorry, but gay men that think it’s okay to treat others differently based on their race" You literally are trying to force everyone into your view. Forcing everyone to have to abide by what you think is right. You have no right to talk about treating others. Anyone that thinks differently than you is suddenly wrong and horrible. Somehow a filter is "racist" to you.. that really just shows how racist you truly are. Nobody here is treating anyone differently aside from you.

    Using black guys as an example here:

    With the filter: I don't see any black guys
    Without the filter: I see black guys and just ignore them or block them.

    What's the difference here? What changed at all with or without the filter? The only difference is with the filter it's easier for me to find what I actually know I want. How is it racist? That I have an attraction that's different than yours?

    You're making this into such a massive problem that isn't even a problem. You're forcing everyone to try and think how you think then acting like people treat others horribly.. You're the one treating people horribly.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @JC It's hilarious isn't it? All the people that try to act like the race filter is suddenly racism, but the other filters are perfectly fine. It's all the "woke" people and "SJW" people that see "problems" everywhere they go. Problems that don't exist, but they get enough idiots believing it and turn it into a problem. They act like it's all in a fight for "equality", "social justice", etc but literally all it has been doing is giving more and more people massive social anxiety. Everything you say nowadays is wrong. Everything you say is harshly judged by every single person.

    It's hilarious too that they only think the **filter** is what makes it racist. If you didn't use a filter and still are a white guy with an asian guy though, that's fine. But for some reason if you're a white guy with an asian guy you met using an asian filter somehow you're racist. There's literally no difference here aside from I don't see what I know I'm not attracted to.

    There have been some trying to argue as well that like if you go to a bar you can't filter out the people.. yes you can, you just completely ignore them. If I don't feel attracted to someone because of their race, I just won't even notice them. That's not racist, that's attraction. Racist would be me going "HOW DARE THAT ASIAN COME INTO THIS BAR!"

    "Equality" apparently nowadays means you're not allowed to have a choice to do what you want or like what you want. You have to abide by what someone else finds right. Like how we're all forced to abide by this "no ethnicity filter" purely because a handful of idiots think it's "racist" yet the vast majority see no problem with it. And that handful of people could just not utilize it if they don't like it.. instead they force their view upon everyone else and shout "EQUALITY!"

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    10 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback » XTRA/Unlimited  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    Eventide commented  · 

    I was looking to make this idea and found this instead. I completely agree that the position filter should bef ree. Tribes and "Looking For" are completely optional and flexible. However, your sexual position is completely integral to gay dating.. there's really no reason for me to be looking at profiles that will end up being other tops..

    Because of how integral it is to gay dating I don't see how any dating site or app that's geared towards gay guys would have this behind a pay wall.. I'd gladly pay for the other filters but age and position are absolutely necessary.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    @rpipy bby It's not "transphobic" to not be attracted to someone. Like if you're a male to female trans, I am not attracted to you whatsoever.. that doesn't mean I can't be friends with you or any other trans person.

    The fact you see "transphobic" in everything just shows your own state of mind honestly. It's the same for people that think a race filter is racism. What you're sexually attracted to doesn't mean you're suddenly racist, sexist, etc. By your very definition of "transphobic" that means a straight man is sexist because he only likes women sexually, or a gay man is sexist for only liking men sexually. You don't get to just throw around these words and act like they apply.

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    Eventide commented  · 

    The problem here is that Grindr is meant to be for GAY people. Which, in today's terms means a man attracted to a man. It's not meant for a man that's now a woman wanting a man or a woman now a man wanting a man.. they can get their own app for that. There's specific apps for different wants. You wouldn't, as a gay man, go to a straight app and look for straight men.. they're not attracted to you.

    The annoying thing too is a lot of the trans people get angry with you when you're not attracted to them. I've had many female to male trans people act like now they're suddenly completely male and I need to be attracted to them because of it. No matter how hard you try, a trans person will never fully be the other gender. They may look it due to medications and may act like it, but their body will never fully be the other gender.. like a trans man will never have a penis. Nor will they ever have the actual physical make up of a male.

    Not saying they can't exist or that nobody is attracted to them since I'm sure people will try to act like that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is they need their own app and their own place. It'd help literally everyone.

  5. 2,859 votes

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    68 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback » XTRA/Unlimited  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    296 comments  ·  Grindr Feedback  ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →
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    Eventide commented  · 

    This would definitely be a great addition. I'm tired of the people that take it as a personal insult that I'm just not interested in older guys. Whether you like it or not, I just never get along with older people. It's never happened in the past, and likely never will. I'm not attracted to them either, so letting them see my profile and then message me when there's literally 0 chance I'd ever bother is just ridiculously stupid.

    It's like how they don't allow you to filter by position (top, bottom, or verse) for free.. it makes no sense whatsoever for me, as a top, to see other tops.. That's a very integral part of gay dating and sex (obviously), it shouldn't be something locked behind a paywall. Just like the age thing is very integral and shouldn't be locked behind a paywall if it's added.

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