"and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference"

Bro, get off that kick. You were on a roll until you went there. You cannot complain about us gay men not wanting to have to filter through transwomen, cis women, and straight men, while bitching and moaning about people's racial preferences. You're gonna have to get the fuck over it because like it or not, racial preferences are just as valid as gender preferences. I'm a black man attracted more to non-black men and I'll be damned if someone polices my desires. Furthermore, I don't give a flying fuck whether someone I was attracted to isn't feeling the same. I move on because I'm confident enough to know there's another person who WILL be into me. Ultimately everyone rejects and gets rejected. Don't pretend that you haven't rejected someone over some innate attribute of theirs. Don't be a hypocrite. Stop whining about the race issue. It's very 2003..

michael, you'd have a profoundly-valid point if the app in question was one that started off as a general lgbtq meet-up app, OR an app that caters to FmAFs and the FmAF-attracted

any "regular" gay man who then signs up with the app, knowing that's how the app is like, thus has zero grounds to complain about sharing the space with FmAFs / FmAF-attracted, and is prime for being decried as whatever "phobe" you'd like to call him if he does

but, grindR was not one such app

grindR, first and foremost, was an app catered to us cis-men, who sought other cis-men

no one asked us if we were okay with ceding our space to FmAF-attracted / FmAFs

it's already difficult enough for us gay men to connect on our hookup apps, due to all the phobias, the general mental dysfunctions, and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference" WE have to face, every second of every hour

being compelled to share our space with women, and those who only want women, simply is untenable

but, the most culpable, in this problem, remains grindR leadership — they have the power to give you-lot your own separate space, so as to reduce conflict

grindR chooses not to do so

gay men don't want women
gay men don't want men who don't want other men

what about, what WE want?

@Michael ALAM

The vast majority of gay men are NOT looking for trans and Grindr refuses to add a feature that lets users filter on their preferred gender. That's the problem!

Are you really that dense?

Jeez what's wrong if trans or whatever uses the app if RSVP banned or deterred gays from using it there would be a outcry of discrimination. So settle the fuck down

I love grinder but some of the people on it are liers and very disrespectful to other's but I still think grinder is great

Wholeheartedly agree!!!

Completely agree - women can meet men literally everywhere & there are about 7,679 other apps they should be using

Yes

at the end of the day, grindR ultimately remains responsible for this mess we're in

let's suppose, though, grindR does finally restore the ethnicity filter, and also provides a separate, dedicated FmAF/FmAF-seeking space

you just know, grindR is going to eventually paywall *that* off from the general public as well; or (doubtful), if grindR doesn't paywall these additions, they'd instead just play it slick by furtherly-reducing app functionality for us non-paying members through future downgrades—
—like the money-hungry, soulless, greedy bitches they are

(which would be a mega-feat to accomplish, in and of itself, considering how unusable grindR has already made itself, up to this point in September 2022)

======

but, to provide a bit of TL;DR for those of you out there who want to "forget" / ignore how grindR markets itself: grindR is Gay Chat
it's right there in its splash page when you go to download the app for the first time

i mean, you don't see lesbians running around on grindR, do you?
wouldn't that be odd if you did?
and, wouldn't you FmAFs take issue with lesbians going there, to where the homos are, proclaiming "NO MEN!", being on grindR?

well, use your empathy to step into our shoes

i get that a lot of you are just as horned up for manly dick / hole like we are

however, we homos have been complaining about the takeover of our space for a reason

we're not saying, you can't exist
we're saying, "exist on your own platform"

and for those homos who like FmAFs, they will know to go where you are
which would ultimately make everyone happy — surely?

(ain't that right, letsgrind?)

When you talk to others talk to them with respect no judgment if this is not for you then you can move on to another site and personally I wish some sites were more friendly gay friendly CD friendly lesbian friendly whatever the case may be but like I stated in my last statement the sites are all about having sex with other people very few people on here are looking for friends and dates which is a rarity these days we can thank the Internet for that I had to call the curiosity out of things, If you want change for the better be respectful act respectful and may be all together we can all make a change for the better

Why don’t we all keep this professional, If you have a problem help find a solution if you cannot help find a solution give your opinion as a professional opinion without emotions because it doesn’t look pretty squirt is not what I consider a gay place to find friends or what not it’s a place to fuck it’s a place where people go to look for Sex, I admit we are lacking and I use that as loosely as I can lacking good gay communication with one another most of this website so you go to all everybody ever wants his drugs or sex , Not exactly very user-friendly especially if you’re just trying to meet friends or what not it should give the gay community a bad taste in your mouth,

I absolutely agree with letsgrind.. sad for the CD that commented here you go. You're one of the ones we're talking about make up your own chat site and leave ours alone. As for your vicious attacking words take a psychology class. People will personalize things when it's a reflection of your own feelings, to so I challenge you to "Take a look at yourself"

@David yes exactly - why not go to another site. Where the app title isn't "gay chat"? Or does gay mean something completely different to folks these days? I honestly don't know anymore. Apparently it means GBLTQIAABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, so gay mean just have to accept we will never have our own community to connect with other gay men. We will ALWAYS have to acquiesce to EVERY other marginalized community who want their own space.

Want your own space? Might be a good idea for the other letters of the alphabet to make their own space. I mean, everyone is capable, and there are lots of developers out there, right? Soooooooo where are the apps for the "other letters"? Are there no developers in the LBTQIA+++++++++++++++ community? Instead, we have to have our space constantly invaded when we're looking for one thing. Men. Who are into men. Is it really that difficult? Whew - apparently!

Its a open app , you have a profile use it then, if you can read , you say you want to find gay people well go to squirt.org i will be happy like should have a good look at yourself as you have got no moral.s at all ,

And also you si gay men what gives you the right to judge, im a cd trans and happy , what about you., i don,t think so, move on , you may be a better person , and show some respect as you do not have any now, ask yourself a question , why are you gay, , i can answer this for you, .

Well if you dont like it go to another site , half you gay men are married and cheat on your wife s so wjy are you hear,

Can't believe I'm just now seeing this. I'm so thrilled to know I'm not the only one tired of this shit. I truly believe this is the new covert strategy by the homophobic elements of society to undermine and antagonize gay men and lesbians. It's like they want so badly to use the B and T to prove we're just as heterophobic as they are homophobic. "See, you're just like us". But here's the thing; We tried to segregate and have our own space and let you have yours. But yet you came following. I'd also go one step further at the risk of riling up even the other gay men with whom I'm in agreement on this issue, by saying that another pernicious aspect of Grindr and similar apps is its insistence on validating the top/bottom paradigm. As far as I'm concerned, the gay male community as a whole takes anal far too seriously and religiously and ultimately this preoccupation with "roles", dicks sizes, and the associated sociology/psychology of it, really is the genesis of what we're seeing now, I believe. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the act, but it's so interwoven in some people's identity as gay that it feels like it too is an attempt to HETEROSEXUALIZE same sex relationships. I think the most progressive thing Grindr has done is definitely not this transdr nonsense, but its inclusion of the "side" position. Again, nothing wrong with anal, (I indulge, but topping is something I do not what I AM) but so many get caught up in this whole "Me: big dick daddy top Tarzan
You: small dick fem bottom Jane". We often unconsciously bring this heterosexual bullshit into our space ourselves, so we have to take some part of the blame that it has come this far.

@None of Your Beeswax If they allowed upvoting here, I'd upvote your response.

I think it's possible, although I can't speak for all of us cis gay guys, that the attacks on this thread towards cis/trans women and their admirers have a pretty good likelihood of having come from cumulative experiences in the app. Needing to block the folks we're not interested in isn't really serving Grindr's vision of inclusiveness either, and possibly promotes cis gays' anger that we need to do so in the first place. We set our filters, but not everyone lists their "tribes" properly, nor does Grindr give options for some tribes in the discussion, so that doesn't really help. We throw money at the problem so we get more advanced filters - still not truly only getting what we are searching for. So we have to resort to blocks, which can be circumvented by someone reinstalling the app, from what I've heard from the grapevine. So, rock - meet hard place... and I don't mean for docking. Grindr needs to respond to our requests, because they're are SO MANY other threads on this very topic.

GAY CHAT.
Men for men. That's pretty clear when everyone downloads the app. It's not LGBTQIA+ & straight. Everyone does deserve their own "dating" space on the net. But why invade ours if you can create your own app, set your "tribes" with the correct one(s) (if you feel so safe here), or why not have Grindr create your app for you? That doesn't help in some scenarios as I've mentioned before, because while Grindr wants all-inclusiveness, they fail to deliver filters for some of those folks who are seeking each other out - which doesn't really benefit anyone, right?

@sb — for the most part, i do agree with you..

..but, the underlying "sticking point" remains

a sticking point, that's a "clashing" of conflicting interests

as far as grindR itself goes, it is my belief: there is a concurrence of, both, the small sub-faction of us who elect to be vocal about our feelings, and the majority who also wish grindR was focused on cis-men..
—cis-men who actually seek other cis-men—
..but opt to keep quiet about this preference of theirs

(myself: i am open to connecting with transmen..
..transmen who have committed to being manly
like pashan)

you are correct, of course, that the lobbing of insults at the transfolk while arguing the point is unnecessary. i don't condone that.

yet, the fact remains: for most of us homos, it truly is nothing personal against female-aligned transfolk, "femme" guys, and the female-aligned crossdressers ("FmAF" for short — inclusive of the so-referenced crossdressers and femmes).. ..but our dicks just can't get hard for you.
we're pursuing manliness. beards. hard pecs. in a lot of cases, hairy bodies. sometimes, even, a strong belly.
it truly is nothing personal against FmAFs but, your (purposely) fashioning yourself into a woman makes the proposition a literal non-starter for the cis-man_seeking gays — all we're really saying is, we don't want our precious, limited grid squares taken up by people we can never willingly make sex with

there is no forcing the point here: even if you are occupying the same space as us cis-Men Seekers, you still cannot compel us to actually go and hook up with you, or to scare up an attraction that simply cannot exist..
..so, at the end of the day — even if you get what you think you want, by remaining on in our space, you're going to find yourself in the same position regardless: getting politely declined (at best); or being blocked; or ignored; or worse
"half a dozen of one" is still "six of the other"

what i *would* tell you (if i had to guess), is the bi-sexual cis-guys who hang out on grindR probably are more likely to be attracted to FmAFs
(i reference actual bisexuals.
not the self-loathing man haters, or the fetishists.)
with this caveat in mind, i am compelled to concede, it is completely logical for you to gravitate to an app that also serves as a home for cis-byes

but..you see the mess we're in now, because of the overlapping of interests
this particular "venn diagramming" works out fine enough for the cis-man attracted FmAFs, and for the cis-byes who are open to "whatever" — but, not quite so much for us gay beard warmers, who have to compete with limited resources

the easiest solution here is for grindR to create a separate FmAF / FmAF-lover space for you to do your thing in
i refuse to believe doing so is *that* difficult

also: i do want to remind you, once more, we *are* in 2022.
this "digital" age.

in this age, you truly can create your own "all-inclusive" app, with what surely must be relative ease.
an app, in which no-holds-are-barred on who pursues (and is pursued by) whom.
and like i said a couple of months ago: i give you my SOLEMN pledge, i won't go trudging through your space.
(probably.)

in this digital age, i feel like you are able to call on fellow FmAFs / FmAF-lovers to pool your money together to conjure up your app and get the word out there about it.

who knows?
maybe you could even create the alternative to grindR we-all need: implementing all the (reasonable) suggestions we leave here, that are largely ignored.
allow a space for cis-men to hunt other cis-men, unfettered, and even i might throw a few dollars your way

Its getting worse and worse as days go by, at bare minimum a third of my grid are trans/ts only/CD femme kink

Exactly zero gay men go for that, it's literally the antithesis to homosexuslity

Why are we getting bullied out of the last place for us?

Its very stressful and only creates massive disdain for trans people and their man hating fetishists

If you're an app developer; this is a destroyed niche you can take straight off grindr and profit yourself; we're desperate for our own space, like all the other letters in the acronym have but we dont - only us