Lets make grindr gay again
Lets make Grindr gay again, lets start by getting rid of biological women and m/f couples. We as gay men have very few apps to meet each other while biological women and m/f couples have thousands for example tinder, bumble and hinge. First it was our bars and now the very few apps we have to meet each, WHY?!?!?! why must we share everything with biological women just for the sake on inclusivity. Why can't we has gay men have our own spaces? Lets Make Grindr Gay Again!!!!
Michael Ruth commented
I spend more time blocking guys who looking for mf couples and women. Not enough gay men on here anymore
honestly, it is more logical for you-all to have your own space
you should *want* this for yourselves
the main point of grindR is for finding sex connections
i can't speak for the bisexuals; but, i do feel rather confident, you're not going to get many of us *truly* gay cis-/masc-guys to want to do anything with you
it would be one thing if our ability to filter and block were unrestricted; but extremely restricted, grindR makes these — and a pricey premium, for those who do want access to the lackluster filtering suites grindR does offer
as an FmAF, don't you want to maximize your matches?
with grindR as it is, now, i can't imagine you're finding many (well-adjusted) dudes who aren't a hate crime just waiting to happen
inclusivity isn't /always/ the best approach
on the most basic level, most of us gay guys aren't being misogynistic — we're literally just following the direction our basic instinct takes us to
if inclusivity is your true aim, then tell me you have accounts with lesbian-centric (bi-sexual women, included) sites too
do you think we gay guys do?
Xavian Thompson commented
Big facts!!! The competition is real... I know things are all inclusive nowadays but damn.
As evidenced in the "Investor relations" screen shots that Lexi provided, Grindr is purely profit driven.
Unfortunately for us cis gay men looking for other cis gay men (Grindr's original target market), that translates into letting the entire LGBTQ+ population invade our space and limiting the filters which in turn entices us to upgrade to a more expensive plan to get a slightly less limited experience.
So Lexi all your pro-inclusive LGBTQ+ on Grindr talk is a bunch of hogwash. Assuming you are not a cis gay man, you are not on here because cis gay men welcome you with open inclusive arms. It all boils down to Grindr increasing its profits.
Our sentiments about colonizers invading our space still stand.
Mike Ruth commented
I block more than I find too many guys looking for Trans and lots if women on here
Lexi, if your theory about the financial aspect had merit, the cost of premium membership should be DEcreasing. Instead, it's becoming MORE experience with the increase of diverse members
Maybe this will help clear things up. This was taken from the company’s investor information.
I’m not being political at all though. I’m just overly aware of many sides to this argument that if all were actually put in place by everyone wanting the grindr app to start doing to better suite them eventually there would just be no app.
Politically though right now is not the best time to be having this argument because it will get twisted and turned into gay men wanting to groom children in secret because it’s already what they are doing.
This argument even being an issue would just make us all fighting for equality look totally ridiculous and get used against all of us.
And you may not want equality but a lot of people deserve it and don’t even use these apps or even go out in public. I would say this thread is literally full of mean girls shouting you can’t sit with us that I hope can think beyond themselves one day and realize saying little shït like this does matter.
Someone has already said they wanted to burn me at the stake like totally uncalled for. If the right person sees it is going to make a lot of people who had nothing to do with this conversation lives a lot more difficult
But hey, you’re entitled to your thoughts as am I and regardless of who has more people on their side I don’t think majority needs to always totally win especially at something that doesn’t really have a right or wrong answer and I hope that you get what you want someway.
Maybe try sniffies (website) or there’s a popular one my friend was talking about called male nude or nude male that does do screening and such as you were talking about if you can’t find it or are not sure what I’m talking about but want to know just let me kno and I’ll ask my friend for you.
I’m done arguing about this though. I don’t even know why I keep getting emails about this stuff.
Honestly men (in general, especially gay men) don’t bother me. In fact most people most of the time and I don’t try bothering anyone who doesn’t want to be bothered.
I worked at the front desk at a bath house almost 2 years and tbh I think that’s what makes me frustrated most when I read this. It may seem like something simple you are asking for, but it’s not.
I had to hear sooooo many people come up and complain about someone wearing too much clothing, the wrong clothing, not letting them join whatever the hell was going on, someone was staring at them they didn’t like and the list goes on and on…
Now that I’ve moved to NYC there are gay clubs, parties that literally will discriminate against a gay man’s age, his body type and physical appearance (hot or not) and will make exceptions either way as long as you’re “hot enough” and it is just ridiculous.
I hate that for anyone, anywhere that is getting turned away based on how they look. First it was not being old enough that was limiting, then if you’re gay you have to worry about being actually too old or just ugly and old.
I think this type of judgement and behavior is disgusting and I honestly can’t believe how much progress has been made only to end up with people still on all sides of things demanding you have this space that I do believe you should have (personal space) but it becomes unclear where you then draw the line of your personal space violating someone else’s space and hurting their feelings. Which just isn’t right or fair, or nice.
Especially since it is literally one a 1 way street that benefits your wants and needs and you would be highly pissed of straight people started making things only they could be allowed to partake in.
It would be fair if they didn’t allow you to partake in it since not all gay men are asking only gay men to be allowed.
But that’s never how it ends up happening and because of you wanting to be separated from activity that didn’t interest you now every gay man would be and it’s just messed up.
If you really can’t be bothered to do something as simple as block someone who doesn’t interest you or bothers you lol it really just proves that grindr making these changes to THEIR platform will make no difference AT ALL because what your asking literally already exists. BLOCK
if you can’t figure out why you should be bothered with the task of fixing something your so bothered by already how would complicating the process any more by giving you filters to do something?
Then you would just be mad about people you are not attracted to using “the wrong” options and not fitting into how you would classify them or you would be mad if they weren’t interested and it really just stops progressing as a society for your hookup hangup that is a you problem.
How is no fats, no fems, not relevant?!? Lmao it totally is. Cuz you’re saying no “straights” even though many gay men would describe themselves as “straight acting” and now no trans people and it is very relevant.
Anyone posting no fats no fems is probably going to lose out on getting hit up by anyone who thinks that is what they are even if it’s not what the person meant by such a vague statement that truthfully says NOTHING about anything. It’s all entirely subjecting and it’s a joke cuz you claim not to want straight men on it. Until you’re hooking up with a straight man using the app.
I know plenty of straight men who have this EXACT same thing to say about all the gay men they get trying to “convince” them of something they already said no to.
This is sad that so many people have literally already died in seeking equality and acceptance but grown ass ppl on here are crying about an app that was not now or ever “yours” and thankfully if you wanted to create such a hateful assholes only app and invest the time and money into software to screen exclusively for your type you can do that.
I HIGHLY suspect grindr may care more about your thoughts on the matter if more people were actually paying for the app but since that’s not the case they need to welcome as many people as they can to use the app to make ad revenue to keep “your app” up and running.
If you don’t or can’t pay for the subscription (and this may also help with your other concerns like filters and features) I suggest you signup as a beta tester. That’s what I do and you can’t buy upgrades or boosts but you get new features first, also you get to more personally provide feedback to them several ways. And it’s 100% free to join as a beta tester.
i'm only on 3 apps;—
;—i'd abandoned cruising for ass and dick from my desktop almost a decade ago: when gay(dot)com and men4sexnow were killed off;
manhunt eventually became the template from which scruff (which, itself, does some pretty bad pay-walling too) modeled itself;
bear411 became less and less reliable;
and, adam4adam became an even more-toxic cesspool of panhandlers, caspers, and mentally ill men
ironically (and sadly), grindR remains the only one of my 3 present cruise apps i've had the most "success" on, to this day
in my area (and with my life circumstances), my options for connections are fairly lacking
~though i do appear to be fairly popular abroad~
i tell you all this, to declare that in consideration of the current landscape, i don't need a million of these hookup apps on my phone, when i know 70 - 95% of the members (and the end results) on them are gonna be the same all across
so, re-direct your energy from demanding we cis-gays deal with you, and your "straight" cohorts, invading our turf unabated (which, honestly, really doesn't make much sense anyway), back towards grindR, for forcing them to provide us the proper separation we need so all of us can enjoy a better chance of finding what we desire
or, AGAIN: you can always create your own app
not everything needs to be open to everyone
"safe spaces" for transwomen to congregate / commiserate — you want us men to be in there with all our testosterone, ruining your ambiance?
you want us men to join you in your women's bathrooms?
also, grindR is a private business — the owners (shitty as they are) have some rights to say who their creation is for
Not sure how long you've been using grindr, but historically this app has always been for men to meet men - hence - "gay chat" in the app title. Sure, grindr has jumped on the bandwagon to allow anyone and everyone on the app, but they have not provided a suitable set of tools to hide anyone we (gay men) don't want to see. Yes, we can block. Yet why should we have to, especially when those who've been blocked somehow magically appear on our feeds again later? How about a requirement for users to enter gender and sexual preference(s), and a filter to search for only what folks want to see? We should trust that people are honest and upfront, so there aren't any surprises later. Don't want to see cis gay men? Set the filter. Same if we gay men don't want to see any women, or straight men who bash us when we message them because they're in our space looking for women.
Your call-out for "no fats, no fems" isn't relevant to the discussion topic.
Sure there are other apps out there for gays - and pretty much everyone. ...Also not very on topic.
I'll trade your "equality & acceptance" comment and your remaining post for relevant discussion to the topic.
Politics don't matter to this discussion, leave them out and please stick to the topic.
Cheers and well wishes!
This is hilarious! There are farrrrrrrrr more apps, websites, AND PLACES (bath houses) for GAY MEN that should be more inclusive of women AND trans men lol women like gays bar because they can dance without having a stiff one pressed against their backs.
Lol I just read an article the other day gay men were sad about all the “straight” guys looking for trans women and not men and I have a feeling that’s what this is about too
Let’s pretend it’s only gay men on the app. Then what about the gay men posting no fats, no fems… or the masc only. Party only bla bla.
If you don’t know about all the gay sites and apps for gay men you must not be very gay yourself because there are THOUSANDS.
Also the apps you just referred to ALLOW GAY MEN, gay men and women use those apps and don’t forget LGBTQ INCLUDES WONEN, includes BI men and women and includes people not sure, and Queer is an umbrella term that is intended to be super inclusive as it just means out of the ordinary, pretty much anything or anyone that would not consider themselves “normal” in whatever sense they want it to mean.
Sometimes I wonder if some gay men really want equality or acceptance or if they just want to be left alone and to hide away from the rest of the world
It’s so annoying going to a gay bar and hearing people complain about “the straights” especially when they are the only ones actually spending money at an establishment, tipping the staff and entertainers and NOT BOTHERING ANYONE.
Just because you may not ever go to any straight establishments does not mean they should be excluded from your gay establishments, apps or otherwise. Assuming you own any that is.
There is this awesome feature you could utilize on the app already it’s called BLOCK.
Why not block your way to a better grindr which I’m sure with your attitude may still struggle finding someone interested in such a bitter person.
But you should really try the block feature sometime. It doesn’t entitle you to a response from the space it opens for new profiles tho fyi
You could’ve just suggested grindr check peoples privates and then watch them have sex with another man before they are allowed on the app. Maybe you could head that department and anyone without a partner could just use you to prove their gayness
This behavior is that of a trump supporter wonder if that’s accurate 🤔
David Portillo commented
This has just gone to far! I wanna have a place for us guys to me guys! No Dam girls trans woman or anything like that I gay I only want Man! I had to fight my hole life to final get a man! I never ever ever going to want a female or trans or any BS! Today I had a woman sent me her breast on a gay app! Get them the Fffff! Off here! The straights have thousands of places to meet people. Can't we just have a few!
No one is upset except you. I thought I'd give you some advice on how to get over yourself. And nice attempt to evade the point which is that you reject people for any reason at all! Like it or not, it is perfectly valid to reject on physical appearance.
it says more about you, than me, that you (as a fellow black man, no less) got this upset about my commentary on the subject, brandon
i reckon my "roll" travels along just fine, thank you
the reasons i reject individuals is just that: on an individual basis
though, it is perfectly valid for me to categorically-exclude the unhygienic, psychopaths, the willfully ignorant, murderers, and trump supporters
"and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference"
Bro, get off that kick. You were on a roll until you went there. You cannot complain about us gay men not wanting to have to filter through transwomen, cis women, and straight men, while bitching and moaning about people's racial preferences. You're gonna have to get the fuck over it because like it or not, racial preferences are just as valid as gender preferences. I'm a black man attracted more to non-black men and I'll be damned if someone polices my desires. Furthermore, I don't give a flying fuck whether someone I was attracted to isn't feeling the same. I move on because I'm confident enough to know there's another person who WILL be into me. Ultimately everyone rejects and gets rejected. Don't pretend that you haven't rejected someone over some innate attribute of theirs. Don't be a hypocrite. Stop whining about the race issue. It's very 2003..
michael, you'd have a profoundly-valid point if the app in question was one that started off as a general lgbtq meet-up app, OR an app that caters to FmAFs and the FmAF-attracted
any "regular" gay man who then signs up with the app, knowing that's how the app is like, thus has zero grounds to complain about sharing the space with FmAFs / FmAF-attracted, and is prime for being decried as whatever "phobe" you'd like to call him if he does
but, grindR was not one such app
grindR, first and foremost, was an app catered to us cis-men, who sought other cis-men
no one asked us if we were okay with ceding our space to FmAF-attracted / FmAFs
it's already difficult enough for us gay men to connect on our hookup apps, due to all the phobias, the general mental dysfunctions, and the racism / bigotry disguised as "preference" WE have to face, every second of every hour
being compelled to share our space with women, and those who only want women, simply is untenable
but, the most culpable, in this problem, remains grindR leadership — they have the power to give you-lot your own separate space, so as to reduce conflict
grindR chooses not to do so
gay men don't want women
gay men don't want men who don't want other men
what about, what WE want?
The vast majority of gay men are NOT looking for trans and Grindr refuses to add a feature that lets users filter on their preferred gender. That's the problem!
Are you really that dense?
Michael ALAM commented
Jeez what's wrong if trans or whatever uses the app if RSVP banned or deterred gays from using it there would be a outcry of discrimination. So settle the fuck down
Elijah Fark commented
I love grinder but some of the people on it are liers and very disrespectful to other's but I still think grinder is great