“Not interested” tap option
Taps. Currently we have the flame, devil and friendly hello tap option. Why don’t we have a “not interested” tap option too? A lot of people have problems with being ignored by others when someone isn’t interested in them. However, people also cannot be bothered to reject others with words - it’s too much effort. This update to the tap mechanism could kill two birds with one stone. It makes it less time/energy consuming to reject people with just a click of a button. AND the guys who feel invalidated when being ignored, can get an answer - instead of pestering folk for answers. I believe this is pretty efficient and is better for everyone’s mental health.
Brandyn Lovett commented
Please Add an "Are You Sure?" Prompt After Tapping someone. I have mixed feelings about taps because half of the people that do it do so on accident as they are scrolling. When you answer these people back, they give no reply presumably because they are not interested and they have tapped you on accident. Adding an "Are You Sure" Question will mitigate this.
I just don't respond when I'm not interested because whether it be via a tap that says "not interested" or me saying "not interested" directly, guys freak out on me and I end up blocking them anyway.
AZ Guy commented
Change the verbiage of the Blocked button to say not interested so it doesn’t feel as cruel to block someone. I don’t want to start conversations with guys who message me if I’m not interested in them, but I also don’t want to leave them hanging. The thing that happens when you block someone is really the best option. We become out of sight, out of mind from each other. But the word Block sounds a little harsher than it needs to be. Essentially I’m just not interested. Whether I’m not interested because you’re a hot muscle jock and I’m only into silver foxes or because you seem like a psychopath, or because you are my cousin lol, I’m not interested. It’s like saying thanks, but no thanks. But really, all I’m proposing is that the Block feature stay exactly the same, except that it says “Not interested” instead of “Blocked”.
Something similar to what ROMEO has would be ideal. Perfect way of showing exactly what interest (or no interest) users have in other users
They are always changing the profile to get connected with you
Bruh, if you're not interested in someone...just BLOCK HIM.
Fausto Ventura commented
Yes, that literally happens 100% of the time. You tell someone you’re not interested / they’re not your type …. and then they want an explanation and a full list of characteristics in a guy that *is* your type!! Wtf - I upvote this “not interested” button
I don't understand why all these are being assholes about this idea. I think it's a good one. Get tired of being asked to explain why you're not interested in someone. I'm guessing the ones taking such offense to it are the ones who get rejected frequently.
I would add that having a reject tap as the hello and devil would create a problem as you go and tapping people saying not interested, lets say you find 10 notifications on ur account and all of them are not interested, plus most guys dont check the tap list
Its better to have a rejection button as a ban, if one person hit it on another person’s profile they both are banned from texting
This only comes after or before they talk
Its a “you see me” block
The problem with this idea is that some people, probably like you, will use such a tap as an initial contact. Why not just have a saved text in your profile that politely explains you are not interested. We are all on here looking for some form validation; it is counter to the purpose of this APP to rudely reject others.
youre lazy. youre petty. youre rude. acquire some compassion and kindly tell the individual youre not interested. it takes no time.
Great idea. .im one who now doing the same thing i dont like being done to me...that is being ignored.
Being ignored is more damaging than verbal and physical absuse.
I just send this picture ..
Mean as Can be, they’d get the hint.
Learner 2360 commented
Just block. It's not super polite, but you won't be bothered again.
It be cool to get a Message Read alert so then you can know if they are ignoring you or not interested
I definitely agree, I tell someone I'm not interested and they want an explanation.
Please add a ONE-CLICK 'no thanks/ not my type' button in the inbox, BEFORE even opening the message, also in the taps tab. Even Romeo has done this now, so why can't you do it?
It could be next to the 'delete' button. If it's two-clicks or only available after opening the message, more semi-asshole guys won't bother to even click it, and then it won't make a difference. It has to be easier than opening the message and out again to remove the notification.
Saved messages is not a realistic solution, because that takes 4-5 clicks to say 'no thanks/ not my type', and the culture on Grindr is so mean guys won't even make that much effort to be kind to a person who they only see as a sexual consumer object to use to boost their ego, and treating other guys as so inferior they don't even deserve a 'no thanks' reply is one way they make themselves feel better.
I just want the assholes who use Grindr mainly for virtual narcissistic supplies, not even for real hookups, to make themselves feel superior by not replying 'no thanks/ not my type' to anyone they consider inferior in the gay muscle / masc credit points hierarchy, or by ghosting after they've shown an interest and then persistently not replying, to have an easier time of replying 'no'.
Grindr has an effective monopoly of the gay/bi/queer dating app market, so choosing another app with a less harmful structure and culture is not really an option. Scruff has more space for showing more personality so that abs pics count for less, but fewer guys use it. Romeo is also less reductive and has less of the culture of guys intentionally making other guys feel like shit to make themselves feel better, but it's a hassle to use and takes more time for less results.
Already in the offline gay scene I think the prevalence of narcissistic PDs is >40%, and the Grindr virtual environment cultivates that kind of personality and behaviour even in people who aren't like that offline.
It really doesn't take long to click in saved messages 'no thanks, not my type', and if everyone or most people did it it'd make the online gay socialising experience so much less miserable and self-esteem destroying for almost everyone. You could also make a 'maybe, but not right now' button. Sometimes people don't reply because they're busy and after hours on grindr that also feels personal.
Currently the app structure and consequently the established grindr culture only really works for further inflating the egos of the top 1% of guys who succeeded in physically conforming most to the main gay ideal masculinity type of being big and muscly (or years ago they did and still use photos from then!). For most of us it's just miserable.
And don't say "don't take it personally" - of course it's fucking personal! How can it not be when there's nowhere to go to expand one's offline friends circle now and online dating apps designed just for narcissistic assholes are all there is? I always start off with a healthy attitude of "whatever, assholes!" but after a few hours of grindr I feel like I am the most unattractive thing in the world. In offline socialising spaces I feel like I'm in the top 5% most attractive relative to people's responses and I'm generally friendly to everyone whether I fancy them or not, but Grindr makes me feel like utter shit.
It's making me so angry I want to delete the app but of course there is no realistic alternative for socialising or finding new friends or sex partners due to covid19 closing all the face-to-face socialising venues.
Add a one-click 'no' button, and you would save millions of guys globally billions of hours of wasted time, unnecessary misery and psychological harm, and maybe help detoxify the gay scene to make it less narcissistic supplies and drugs focused.
When people “tap” you for being “hot”, you may not feel the same about them. But in the interest of not being rude and ignoring the person, it’d be nice to acknowledge them with a “Thanks” tap vs. saying “hi”, etc ... some of us just don’t want to be rude! lol
Great idea. I am also missing that a lot.
To be respectfull with an "answer" without starting a conversation that can be messy if the guy dosent really get it.
Give feedback more easier for both side if you are not interested and dont want starting or further conversation with some profile/person.