Ability to block people above your preferred age from messaging you
Messages from older guys can get very creepy and is usually unwanted and I want to be able to block anyone out of my preferred age range from messaging me
The real issue here is HONESTY, no? We all have our likes and dislikes ... we know what we are looking for on Grindr. It is critical for people to post honest profiles and real photos. You must have the BACKBONE to be politely direct with others too about what you want from a gay app. If someone does not want to chat with me, FINE! Move on and thanks for not wasting my time. Honesty and polite directness are critical ... we all need to grow thick skin and a spine if you use Grindr.
At 62 I very rarely ever initiate any conversation on Grindr. My screen name is ”Wrelick” and that is exactly what I am! Guys, get over it ... if you’re my age, you’re ancient for being on a gay app. It’s reality. Old men need to fade away at some point in time. The good thing is though that I am never lonely on Grindr ... men of all ages still speak to me. Post an honest profile and they will find you ... regardless of your age. Cheers ...
Better would be a field where you can select your preferred age range and have it displayed on your profile. I dont message young guys because I know at 33, thats like 75 in gay years. But at the same time, ive been surprised a few times being hit up by younger guys looking for my age and its legit. But I would never have said hi first.
David Hope commented
The title of the suggestion is dubious and has provoked a lot of ill feelings.
We already have the facility to search by the age range we are interested in.
Over on the Planet Romeo website, you can also specify if you want to see only those people who are looking for someone of your age.
Meanwhile, back on Grindr, I get initial contact from guys who have a preferred age range of 18 - 21. I’m dead in Gay Years. I’m 47
Older but not dead. commented
I don't really know how I ended up reading this but find the concept offensive. The guys they this entitled brat is objecting to saying hello are the same ones who fought for for half a century to get them the rights they presently have. A simple no thanks works well. Some younger guys enjoy learning about things from people with a lot of life experience. As a matter of fact a lot of young guys exploit the older ones and it can be inequitable in reverse. You don't see them yelling about it. Younger guys didn't invent gay life but the guys that you hatefully call creepy and cringey did invent the gay rights that the younger guys take for granted. They are also the ones fighting to hold on to them while the kids are playing and partying. Does it kill you to say hello? Does it bother you that they are still part of the community that they started? Have you ever thanked one of them for marching in the first pride parades when people threw rocks at them? Have you found out about their friends who died fighting for the rights the kids think were always there? The funny thing is that the kids that have a little gratitude and acceptance are not here commenting. You know a lot of older guys would rather be blocked by you guys than get the silent rejection that you throw at them. Guess what kids, young entitled gay men don't understand a **** thing about being gay or oppressed and to make it even worse for the older guys they are being oppressed by Their own community for fighting and surviving. Get over yourselves. Your day is coming. If you don't start fighting for the things that are being taken back you will be back at Stonewall. Then what? Who bans the guys that think gays should be executed? You? I don't think so.
Wow. I think taking a simple glance at the comments is a great example of why this idea should be implemented.
Not Anonymous commented
The reason this is a HORRIBLE IDEA is:
A LOT of people lie about their age. It will just become more prevalent with this feature. You think “fake profiles” are a problem ... this would be worse.
Or under your preferred age if needed, if we are being ageist at least be fair about it!!!
Murcott Denis commented
This suggestion might not be aptly formulated. It's more about the possibility of filtering who can see your profile based on age (which means that age disclosure must be mandatory - but that is another story). I'd fully support that user have this option if they feel like it !
I do not understand why this isn't the app behavior by default – Tinder and its derivatives only show you people who are in your age range, location range, etc as dictated by your dating profile preferences.
RE: Ageism. No. First, this goes both ways – plenty of guys don't want younger guys messaging them and plenty of younger guys don't want older guys messaging them. Second, I find it incredibly insincere to paint this as a case of discrimination akin to racism – just look at the power dynamic –older men are overwhelmingly represented in politics. They are overwhelmingly represented in executive offices. Old men hold *all* the power in this country. It is not structurally possible for a young person to "oppress" an old person. This feeble attempt at using the language of social justice reeks of Boomer entitlement to people's bodies. I have put in my profile that I am looking for guys around my age because to be outside that age range is to necessarily be in radically different places in our lives, and with completely different socializations stemming from the changes that occur over generations, and that is not conducive to my end goal – it is a perfectly valid thing to consider when dating, and the vast majority of people do – everyone has an ceiling and floor on who they'd date. Most if not 100% of say 30 year olds would never even consider dating an 85 year old. So stop white-knighting for the young/old or whomever you're getting angsty about because you TOO also have an age ceiling/floor.
Last, you won't stop people from just blocking those who fall outside their preferences anyway. This will happen no matter what, and it is frustrating for the person being messaged, and hurtful for the one on the receiving end. If only there were a way so that neither party could be made aware of each others' existence and this whole situation could be avoided anyway?
This feature is LONG overdue.
Agreed with this actually, but not just ABOVE please BELOW! I'm 30 and dont want messages from under 27s.
John Smith commented
People must be special kind of ****** to think it is ageism to block people of older ages. ****** preferances are not discriminatory, sexuality can't be changed if someone is not interested in older ages you absoluty twats!
John Harper commented
Please flag this idea as inappropriate. It violates one of the legally protected classes. It’s also just immature in general.
To OP, grow up. There are more constructive ways of dealing with the type of people YOU attract.
This would fall under being discriminatory by way of ageism. However, perhaps it would be better to report these profiles as creepy if they do not seem to get the hint if you tell them they are being creepy. If enough people report the profile, it would be great if they could be deleted by the Admins for being harassing. Because you're right, those kinds of messages that seem so copy paste get annoying and are creepy, I like to call them out on it so they stop, but its pretty much pointless. They respond as if they're throwing a temper tantrum. Plus it doesn't stop people from putting lower ages like they do already, or none at all.
Again, the problem isn't the app, and filtering isn't gonna do anything but make people find ways around it. Instead of just filtering or blocking people, either report them if they're being scary, or tell them that they're being creepy if they are. Hopefully eventually they'll get the hint to change and try a more respectable approach. Its only through honest communication that things can change. Some of those older guys grew up in an era where that sort of coming on to a person was the way that things were done, and to them it doesnt seem creepy. But since no one tells them that, instead just blocks them, they feel rejected for their age and never understand that if they simply changed their approach they might get a different response. Give people the opportunity to change, if they don't, then block them or report them..
One day you will grow up. In the meantime, go **** yourself
This doesnt seem, this is discrimination pure as watter.
If.you want not to get those messages, just block the profiles man. There you go, your solution.
i do hesitate at blocking anything for prefferences i mean this is how we find out we like new thingsi mean how will you know if you never tried it and really you are all gonna get old but i have endured the creepo that will just not give up when reason has to have demonstrated that sorry man you just haven't got the "daddy thing going for you" or that the fact that its way to creepy to imagine my fathers wrinkled up old *** do maybe we could just have some more room in our profile description i have resorted to making memes that i can type up more info on or taking a picture of a printed paper to increase the size of the profile and things about me just to help people have a better chance that they might realize there fate before they get rejected
Feels like discrimination based on age... will the next idea be to block people from another race from messaging you?
There are many examples of "creepy messaging" and it's not just sourced from or directed towards any particular demographic.
This is a good idea but to narrow, open it up to any of the filters available.
If you don't want to be bothered by people with X, Y, Z characteristics, a feature to block accounts outside those parameters from sending you messages, pictures and taps could be a good thing.
Personally, if you're going to judge me based on X, Y, or Z characteristics, I probably wouldn't want to get to know you at all. I have no problem blocking individuals I find creepy.
Not wanting to date or hookup with individuals I don't find an attraction too is not bigotry, it's just preference.
I'll chat, have drinks or become friends with nearly anyone if there's something interesting about a person. You can't tell that from demographics.
Alan S commented
People searching on Grindr tend to compartmentalize everyone enough as it is, looking for people who are the particular "type" they're after - far more than in a club for example, where you don't check someone's driving licence for their age and ask if they're a top before you even say hello.
This would make it way worse.
You could always stick to just dating guys in your high school and use Grindr only when you grow up!